...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

oh, by gosh, by golly, it's time for mistletoe & holly...

...and making out with my youngest son.

OK, not really, but wow, for the past month of so, my sweet boy has been laying the love down on me like the only virgin in his graduating class (His college graduating class. Fingers crossed!).

To be fair, I get a bit of the love from this child on a regular basis; however, there are many times when I have to barter for a kiss or make promises I can't weasel out of for a hug (a lesson he's no doubt picked up on via the documentary that plays out daily in the living room between his father and me). From approximately February to mid-October, if our house were to go up in a blaze, my sons would be all, "Grab the man who buys us things and lets us ride in his truck! Forgo the woman who incubated us in her belly and nurtured us from her bosom! Rapido! To the mailbox, where we agree to meet in the event of emergency!"

But when the holiday season rolls around, as my youngest boy begins to realize the impact his moderate disregard for me at any time other than when I'm tempting him with ice cream or narcotics (kidding) might have on his naughty or nice scale, he turns into a little love machine. Don't be surprised if you walked into my house and heard Barry White, Sade or the soundtrack to High School Musical 3 caressing the air and my little Lothario giving me the "How you doin'?'" eyes (which, were this my husband, would involve him jiggling his glass at me in the universal sign to get him a refill, but for my son, it means beckoning me over with a little finger wag. Alas, it's his middle finger. We're still working on that).

Every day, at any time, I'm showered with kisses and squeezed as tightly as tiny arms can squeeze. Admittedly, I love it. I relish the gleam in his eye when I ask him who loves him and he says "Mama where, at any other time of the year, his answer is always "Dad!" Not to take sides, I do complement my query by asking who else loves him, so he will respond by saying his father does, too, but I must admit I'm soaking up the first place love after being an "also ran" who only crosses the finish line after a lot of begging and perhaps some fake tears.

You could say I'm simply coaxing the love out of him by always asking him who loves him. I'd argue that I'm just preparing him for the psychological warfare women will unleash upon him one day and perhaps administer for the rest of his life. Toughening him up for the inevitable with these wicked games we play. But the kid can be a wonderful softy once December arrives in full force. These days, he walks around professing his love for me like some woebegone Romeo.

"I love you, Mama."
"Mama, I love!"
"Have I told you lately that I love you, Mommy?"
"My love, sweet Mama, 'tis greater than the mountains and farther reaching than the stars!"

Who wouldn't love that? I'd like to get me some of that in July, when gifts and stockings and heeds of "Santa's watching you!" didn't have to be used as warfare.

So for now, I'll take what I can get, and the delivery of hugs and kisses has been staggering. To store up on what I fear will drift off again by December 26th, I will ask for kisses at every opportunity. Waiting at the meat counter at the grocery store Monday evening for our pork chops to be wrapped, we counted how many times we could share kisses until our order was complete. At my oldest son's basketball game this past weekend, I'd snag a peck for every pick. God bless this child for not being too ashamed to plant a pucker on his mother in public. At least for now.

However the love gets doled out, whether it's sincere (and yes, I believe it is, and I believe in Santa Claus - at least a little bit! - too) or whether it's fleeting, I'm hoarding it like someone who snags all the perfect presents on their holiday wishes and looks forward to giving them to someone they love.

Because the kid is a charmer. And because I know when the answer returns to always being "Dad!" that within that response he means me, too. And because I have to hold onto the hope that he'd actually not leave me if our house was burning. Because for now, it's burning with love.



Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Your guy is what - seven? 'Cuz we've got a seven-year-old, too, and those little guys are just hunks-o, hunks-o burnin' love (sorry; it just doesn't work quite so well in the plural, does it?) fer they mommies. Cherish it, 'cuz the day is comin' all too soon when hugs from Mom take on a decidedly 'uncool' vibe. . .

And geez, if the Tool Man gets first dibs on 'who loves ya?' for nine months out of the year. . . I'm so jealous (maybe I just need to buy me a truck, eh?)

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 9:06:00 AM  
Blogger Chasity said...

How ironic- I just received my daily December dose of "You're the BEST. MOM. EVER!!" this morning over breakfast. Although,in his eyes, anyone feeding his little 8yr old body gets that status, so I don't think it's the season as much as the food. But then again, I'll take what I can get...

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 9:53:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

He does Rod Stewart? Awesome.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 10:35:00 AM  
Blogger Cocotte said...

Take that love wherever you can get it!!!!

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 11:05:00 AM  
Blogger That girl from Shallotte said...

Reading this post on a cold morning warms my heart and reignites my burning love for you and your glorious gift for words!

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 11:16:00 AM  
Blogger Swirl Girl said...

As much as he showers you with kisses and flashes those Joey Tribiani "how you doin?' eyes at you - it's no wonder you are in love!

hope you get some , even after christmas!


Tuesday, December 08, 2009 11:23:00 AM  
Blogger Sailor said...

Way cool; take it while you can, cuz soon enough that ends, even during bribery season

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 11:59:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt Juicebox said...

My daughter only occasionally remembers which side her bread is buttered on, Christmas or not. She's the Queen of Teenage Snark, and the promise of an iPod touch doesn't sway her from her campaign of world domination in the least. And I can't remember the last time she actually kissed me, on the cheek or the ass. But she does always tells me she loves me before she leaves and before she gets in bed. With no prompting from me. =)

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 12:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Cheryl said...

Your storytelling is lyrical. And that child sounds like a real charmer.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 1:38:00 PM  
Blogger Always Home and Uncool said...

My son also lays it on pretty thick during the month of December. Which is pretty disconcerting as his father.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 2:27:00 PM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

Whereas my daughter either takes it for granted that she'll do okay at Christmas however she treats me, or she isn't really that enthusiastic about the festive period. I'd have been tempted to believe the latter if my question about what she wanted hadn't been answered with a detailed list of over twenty things...

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 4:04:00 PM  
Blogger Anna See said...

Don't you wish you could bottle it up for the lean times?????

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 4:57:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

That's freaking awesome. My 7 year old barely acknowledges me, but that's okay.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 6:25:00 PM  
Blogger Mad Woman said...

SO this is what I have to look forward to when my little man is 7? Humph!

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 7:19:00 PM  
Anonymous A Vapid Blonde said...

It doesn't work for me anymore. My Mom is on to my game... now that I ma ooh in my forties!

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 7:42:00 PM  
Blogger Nap Warden said...

I like Anna See's idea of bottling it up for the lean times....can I do that?

Tuesday, December 08, 2009 9:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great blog.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009 5:00:00 AM  
Blogger WILLIAM said...

I smiled while reading this. I can remember when I was young-un dishing out the love to my mom during the month of december.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009 7:12:00 AM  
Blogger Christina Lee said...

It IS burning with love---take it and RUN!!

Wednesday, December 09, 2009 7:25:00 AM  
Blogger just making my way said...

I love this.

Thursday, December 10, 2009 8:57:00 AM  
Blogger TwoBusy said...

I love it when kids get all sweet on you... and lull you into a sense of complacency.

(It's all a set-up, of course, but it's lovely while it lasts.)

Thursday, December 10, 2009 10:20:00 AM  
Blogger Legallyblondemel said...

You make me look forward to this whole eventual parenting thing. You truly do.

Thursday, December 10, 2009 10:22:00 AM  
Blogger WhisperingWriter said...

Very sweet.

My son is 7 and can be quite sweet.

But if I tell him no he tells me he's not my son anymore.

Thursday, December 10, 2009 6:43:00 PM  
Anonymous DCUrbanDad said...

It still works for me and I am pushing into my mid 30's. Of course I am the baby and the only boy.

Thursday, December 10, 2009 10:05:00 PM  
Blogger creative-type dad said...

At 7? That's pretty good.

Friday, December 11, 2009 12:10:00 AM  
Blogger bernthis said...

I ask the same of my kid. I'm just being a good mentor is all

Friday, December 11, 2009 12:31:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

I'd do the same thing as your kiddo but it would be rather odd considering you're married.

Friday, December 11, 2009 6:36:00 AM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

Awww! Enjoy. And thank you for the warning of what's to come.

Friday, December 11, 2009 1:37:00 PM  
Blogger American in Norway said...

LMAO... I thought it was just OUR house... amazing how popular I become in Dec.

Saturday, December 12, 2009 10:53:00 AM  
Blogger Pat said...

So what that it's laid on thick during the holidays? I'd lap it up, too! It's sweet! My son is 30 and tells me he loves me every time we talk on the phone. I love to hear it!

Saturday, December 12, 2009 12:02:00 PM  
Blogger The Lady's Lounge said...

there are days I am certain that in the event of an emergency, the dog would be saved before I would.
And nobody even likes the dog...except me...because she is the only one who gives me love without holding her hand (paw) out for money after wards.


Saturday, December 12, 2009 6:20:00 PM  
Blogger Heather, Queen of Shake Shake said...

Crap! My kids are not trying to manipulate me with kindness AT ALL during the Xmas season. What the hell? I think I'll return a gift or two just for that.

Sunday, December 13, 2009 6:55:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Des - A truck seriously ups the ante!

Chasity - Maybe that's the problem here. My kids barely eat, so maybe they're sneaking food somewhere else and giving their love to that mom. Hmmm...

ftn - We should never take for granted the magic of Rod.

Cocotte - Believe me, I bank it and live off the residuals!

That Girl from Shallotte - You make me all swoony and blushy, you!

Swirl Girl - Based on one or two of his gifts, that kid better be showering me in the love until at least May!

Sailor - Based on how I have to nearly beg my oldest, how well I know!

Aunt Juicebox - Hearing 'I love you' - without the prompting - very nearly trumps the hugs and kisses, I think.

Cheryl - What a sweet compliment! Thank you! Oh, and the child is a charmer to the core!

Always Home and Uncool - It's becoming my experience kids are willing to lay a lot on thick if they catch even a whiff of a Nintendo DSi in their future.

Brian - Kids can always come up withe a huge, quite detailed list. I got volume 2 today!

Anna See - Absolutely! I'll be looking for a federal bailout around April, I think!

Aunt Becky - You can borrow my 7 year old on Thursdays, if necessary!

Mad Woman - Believe me, it is well worth the wait!

A Vapid Blonde - The whole moving out, getting married, making your own life thing really does trip up the game, I'll admit. ;)

Nap Warden - Yep. It's why I have so many Ziploc containers in my cabinets!

tusker-machine - Thanks. It has it's moments!

William - There does seem to be some residual carryover during January, when his birthday rolls around!

Christina Lee - Is it ok if I just lay around on the couch? ;)

Just Making My Way - Thank you, dear lady.

TwoBusy - It's scary the way kids have the power to do this, isn't it? There is a particularly nice gift under my bed right now that strongly indicates how damn well it works.

legallyblondemel - The whole parenting thing is so absolutely worth it. Even if you do have to beg from time to time!

WhisperingWriter - Ah, that's a clever one you've got there!

DCUrband Dad - Kudos for sticking with what works!

creative-type dad - The kid is going to be swimming in girlfriends when he's older.

bernthis - EXACTLY! I believe the children are our future, but we have to get them there, dang it!

Savage - It would also probably depend a great deal on what's on your wish list, too.

the weirdgirl - It's definitely the good part of the story.

American in Norway - Ha! We can just pretend the other 11 months of the year, can't we?

Pat - They are beautiful words, indeed.

The Lady's Lounge - We don't even have a dog. I fear the reality of where I'd rank if there was a cute little four-legged creature soaking up my share of the love around here!

Heather - I find that sometimes, you have to put a little fear into them in order to get some of the attention. You might give it a shot before you head out to brave those return lines!

Sunday, December 13, 2009 10:04:00 PM  
Blogger lime said...

yeah, enjoy it while it lasts is right. sigh. i miss the mommy lovin'.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009 8:29:00 AM  
Blogger Zip n Tizzy said...

What a sweet sweetie.
And hey, if his answer is his dad most of the year, then toolman is doing somethin' right and you're all benefittin' from it.
We love you!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009 7:39:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

lime - What I find I'm really enjoying is when my oldest son sneaks some affection into the day without even realizing he's doing it.

zip n tizzy - Oh, my boys definitely think the sun rises and sets with their dad. He's done a pretty good job!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009 9:01:00 PM  

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