...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Monday, October 15, 2007

...and at the end of the day

Three months after we laid eyes on each other for the first time, my husband and I got engaged.

Three months. Gah! I honestly can't think of any decision I've made in my life as quickly as the one I made when I agreed to marry this man. Seriously. It takes me longer to choose between boxes of cereal at the grocery store (especially if I have a coupon and there's additional math involved). This clearly says a couple things about us. First, my husband is way freakin' hotter than a box of Kellogg's Frosted Miniwheats (even those brown sugar ones, which are kind of sexy). Second, sometimes when you know you're making the right decision, you don't have to stand there blindly, glancing from box to box or person to person, while the world pushes their half-filled shopping carts around you and others try to tempt you with their "buy one, get one free" promotions.

You just know.

We knew it even before we hit that twelve-week mark. Shortly after meeting in a Barnes and Noble (I know! It's sickeningly sweet, isn't it!?), we began talking about marriage and ducking into jewelery stores to glance at rings. Many of our conversations were peppered with the prelude "Well, when we're married..."

We just knew.

Well, I knew once I convinced him to get rid of that sad attempt at a mustache he was rocking when we met. I'm pretty sure I was stellar in his mind from the start (And not just because he's a breast man. Well, and an ass man. It depends on the day, really).

Today we're 13 years into knowing. On the afternoon we were married, I honestly never gave a thought to the days that were ahead of us, let alone how those days would morph into years. Thirteen years! When I pass by our wedding picture every day and give it a glance, I'm stunned at how young we look. Baby faces, really. We were two people who hadn't even known each other a year. We didn't have a clue what we were doing, but we figured it was going to be OK, because we were so caught up in each other. We're vastly different people now, yet still pretty much caught up in the other, and that's a very good thing.

The first few years we were married, we revolved around each other. We did things on a whim, took pleasant vacations, and had meals in restaurants where our food didn't come in a bag that included a lame incentive to eat it. We called in sick to stay in bed. Had sex in the middle of the living room floor at 2 in the afternoon. On a Wednesday! We watched movies with real people rather than cartoon characters telling fart jokes. We'd go to bed early, where we would fall asleep holding hands, and wake up late the next morning.

Thirteen years in, we still do some of those things, but it requires a bit more planning. And we're certainly not the baby faced innocents clad in white, black and autumnal colors who look out from our wedding photo and see what we've become, though I hope those two people would be proud of us. Even though we're by no means financially solvent, we've amassed quite a personal fortune. We've gone through one apartment, two houses, two towns, three cars, one minivan, three pregnancies, two amazing children, one neurotic dog, eight jobs, one go at counseling, countless opportunities to bolster the other, and zero arguments. Zero. In 13 years. Yes, there have been discussions (like "Can we wait until Thursday to have sex in the middle of the living room rug at 2 in the afternoon?" and things more serious), but that we've come this far and filled up that blank canvas we were on October 15, 1994, so utterly unscathed and still together confirms that feeling I had just after I met him (that feeling that was cemented when the mustache became history, though we've also gone through approximately four goatees - him, not me).

You just know. Even when you tell people you met at a Barnes and Noble. Even when you can see yourself sitting on the couch with this person 30 years down the road. Even when you wish sometimes you did argue because it would be faster. Even when the little things you adored about them can sometimes make your skin crawl. Even though you sometimes wonder how this person can still love you after some of what you've been through.

You just know. And how lucky is that?

It's lucky 13, that's how lucky it is.


Blogger The Savage said...

Thats so sweet I got a cavity from reading it.... Okay.. So me and my gal are in pretty much the same, "on a whim," boat as you and your hubby were....

I still lust you anyway.... cuz I'm an imagined eye man....

Monday, October 15, 2007 6:16:00 AM  
Blogger Sailor said...

That's wonderful, and extremely lucky. But, "arguing" about Wednesday vs. Thursday for sex on the living room floor, that's not even worth discussing- just have sex on the rug *both* days.

Congratulations to you, a wonderful day to celebrate.

Monday, October 15, 2007 6:21:00 AM  
Blogger Nature Girl said...

#13 has ALWAYS been my lucky number, so I know it will serve you well. Happy Anniversary to you and Mr. DKOG (guy in this case) I hope you're able to have sex in the middle of the livingroom rug today, and I wish you many many many more happy anniversaries.
October was a FABulous month to get married...I know, I did it too..mine's coming up. Now get out there and have a nice dinner out and celebrate!

Monday, October 15, 2007 6:31:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Major, mega-congratulations, DKG!

I truly love wedding anniversaries (we've had 27 of 'em so far). Just as you do here, they afford you the opportunity to sit back, for just a second, and contemplate where you've come together, and how you've grown. And, as the years roll on, what you've endured together, and how much more you can survive than what you ever thought you could.

And, just taking the time to cast an appreciative sidelong glance at this person who, God knows why, threw their life in with yours, 'for better or worse', and all that. The two becoming one - it truly is an amazing thing. . .

And you tell it so warmly, and so well. . . thanks for that. . .


And, I couldn't help noticing (for the first time? did I miss this earlier?) - three pregnancies, two amazing children. . . can I offer a hug for that, too? . . .

Monday, October 15, 2007 9:01:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

Congratulations. Really. Thirteen years is nothing to scoff at. Even if you did meet at Barnes & Noble.

I'm wondering how much of a baby-faced innocent you both were on your wedding day -- Weren't you both at least in your late 20s? Maybe baby-faced. Just not very innocent. :-)

And you CAN'T be both a breast man and an ass man. Not even on separate days. You can like both, as we all do. But it's like Elvis or the Beatles. You just have to decide.

Monday, October 15, 2007 9:50:00 AM  
Blogger Phyllis RenĂ©e said...

Happy Anniversary! And I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who "argues" about where and when :o)

Monday, October 15, 2007 11:43:00 AM  
Blogger sue said...

Happy Annivesary. I'm a believer, too... we were talking marriage a month after we met and that was after I told him I was never getting married again! LOL! 29 years into it, we're still together,so guess that's proof, too.

congratulations - what a beautiful post.

Monday, October 15, 2007 2:42:00 PM  
Blogger SuperWife said...

What? No insulin shots with that? You had me at Barnes and Noble. Really.

Still in the "newlywed" phase with my hubby. It's a second for me, but first for him. And we're all into each other two. Like Sue, I swore I would never do it again and hubby blindsided me with "I'll be here when you're ready" and other tricky stuff like that.

Being in love really is pretty cool. Especially on a Wednesday afternoon. (Or, even Monday...;)

Monday, October 15, 2007 2:50:00 PM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Happy Anniversary! He is one lucky man, and you are one lucky woman to have found each other.

Here is wishing to many many more years of togetherness! Salut!


Monday, October 15, 2007 2:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Here's hoping Sci-Fi shows something romantic tonight.

Monday, October 15, 2007 8:36:00 PM  
Blogger FindingHeart said...

Congrats! Three months after I met exX, we went to her parents for me to ask. MIL met us at the door and said, "Hey, I want to show you a great place for a reception!" *jaw dropped* The point: everyone knew how good it was and how right it was. Even through that, mid-life caught the wife and gave me the crotch kick from hell. It's taken 2 years, but she's rebounded and we're back together for the good reasons. Keep getting the carpet messy at 2pm; keep the spontaneity in the relationship; don't take it for granted; and as you already do, keep valuing/respecting/loving each other in visible ways.

A thousand congrats on 13 years!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007 7:44:00 AM  
Blogger Mandy Lou said...

You're a brave girl, marriage after only three months! I had to "test drive" my hubby for 5 years (well that and the fact that for a long time I thought I was an "independent - don't need to get married" kind of gal) before we tied the knot!

Congrats on 13 fab years!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007 2:14:00 PM  
Blogger Confused Husband said...

Congratulations! 13 years s great.

3 months later? I thought we moved fast at 4 months. guess I was wrong. :D

Tuesday, October 16, 2007 2:51:00 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Wonderful! Happy anniversary to you both.

You do know when it's right (even if it takes some of us ELEVEN DAMN YEARS to take the plunge), yet I'm still happy to hear stories like this to remind me of that.

Best to you.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007 10:20:00 PM  

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