the answer is yes...
Yes, Dave Grohl of Foo Fighter fame, I will accept your imaginary marriage proposal! What's that? Oh, I agree completely! I think we're going to be very happy together, too! In fact, let's run away together now, not next year, and let me show you just how well I already know the lyrics to every song on the new release, k?
You know what's going to be the best thing about us being pretend married, Dave? Other than the fact that I can whisper the words to Everlong in your ear every night after we make the sweet, sweet love? You know. The kind of lovin' that leaves you exhausted?
It's that you're gonna get me one step closer to Taylor Hawkins over there, and I figure since we're just pretend married anyway, we should be open with our relationship. All my life I've wanted to enjoy the sexy prowess of a musician, and honestly, I think you two boys fit the bill nicely. Sure, I've had opportunity to become acquainted with other musicians, and they've revealed themselves to be dicks. But you two? Oh, you two are so not dicks! Please don't think I'm gushing with pretend wedding day jitters when I say you're my hero. Sure, I know you're just going to say you're ordinary. Taylor, too.
To that I say no. That's the last time you'll ever hear me say no, too. Oh yes. The three of us are going to be very happy together. But not "together together" ok? I was wrong about that "only time I'll say no" part up there. I'm gonna have to say no to any rock and roll threesome proposals, too. But that pretend marriage proposal? Yes. Yes. A million times yes!
(Now, I imagine you're all out there wondering "Ok. This is great and all, per usual, but I wonder what I'm supposed to say in comments to this one?" Understandable. How about you just tell me, if you wish, who you would pretend to marry. Or whatever. I'm kind of about the whatever this week. Just keep in mind that Dave - and Taylor - are mine...)
Labels: What if I say I'm not just another of your plays. You're the pretender.
14 Comments:
There's no doubt in my mind who I'd pretend marry. ;-)
CH
Is this your not so subtle way to say you are a big fan of the Foo Fighters?
I would pretend marry the dude from Criminal Minds, yes, the hung one, I just happened to catch a view of him dangling in the ocean breeze--and you can see I'm all into him, so much so that I know his name.
urmnimyors
Mike Rowe is all mine, baby.
I would NEVER marry again, but I could live in sin with Billy Idol for about a week, Marilyn Manson for a day, and the rest would just be hourly flings....
Stacie
I've always thought Meat Loaf was very pretty.
Barring that, I would get busy with the Indigo Girls. Those chicks surely would go for me, right?
It's definitely a toss up. Ricky Martin because he can shake his bum so well. Makes me think he might have some other moves, if you know what I mean. But on the more intellectual side, John Rzeznick. I just want him to sing beautiful songs while gazing deeply into my eyes.
Crap. I spelled it wrong. Those Polish names always get me. It's Rzeznik. No c.
My word verification: flabzey. How'd it know I was flabzey?
Oh Jared Leto. I would so rock his world, right after I burp him. I'm old enough to be his momma. Bret Michaels. I'd do him too. Y'know, with two condoms. Mmmhmm. Oh we're talkin' marriage....hmm...I don't want to marry any of 'em I just want to touch 'em. Rawwrr.
KK...Bret Michaels? Yeah, he's hot and all, but you better use more than 2 condoms!
;P
Stacie
Ah.... The delightful randomness of all that is your blog, m'dear....
In FADKOG I lust....
CH - Are you being veiled here, my friend, or is this also called kissing up to the one you married in the first place?!
Nan - Maybe just a little. I have a minor subtle bone in my body. Wanna see? There might be pictures.
lsecpls
Kelly - Oh! But I want him, too! Ok, can we work out some type of visitation schedule? Seriously. I WANT HIM!
Strcie - Oh, I bet those flings stretch out into hours upon hours!
And that you forgive Billy his Christmas music dalliance and would still give him the top go speaks to your undying love. Therefore, I grant you him! Oh, if only I had such power...ha!
Rug's - I want John R. to give me hair product tips and THEN I'd want to be staring him in the eyes while he sang. Broadway is dark tonight? Ok...
kimmyk - Would you consider going halves on Jared Leto? Skinny boys in tight straight pants and black eyeliner are delicious. DELICIOUS!
As for Bret "Just Take The Freakin' Bandana Off" Michaels...I might have to drink first. Though I did bust a serious ass shaking to "Talk Dirty To Me" tonight while alone in the dark in my kitchen washing dishes. Then I caught the finale of "Rock of Love". Thoughts?
Stacie - I'd consider it after looking into the possibilities of dipping him in industrial grade plastic.
Savage - Ah, the good stuff is back!
FTN - We are so one that I simply forgot you. Stunning! Alas, completely unacceptable!
Meatloaf is so pretty. He would do anything for love, too. Well, except that. And by 'that' I suppose it could include 'men'. This seems to also be your problem where the Indigo Girls are concerned.
I blame the fact that that Meatloaf song is now in my head on you. How perfect as I'm now going to bed. It's such a long song, it'll probably still be rattling around in my head come morning.
I am so pretend marrying Brian "Dexter" Holland. Smart, almost-PhD who rocks? I can't resist that!
bunny - I can see the allure. Smart rockers take my cake, to be sure. Not my Oreo Cakesters, mind you, but the cake nonetheless...
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