the castle started spinning or maybe it was my brain
If you knew me in real life, one of the first things you'd think is "Wow, FADKOG! You're really not the "princess-y" type! And your rack truly IS kick ass!"If you thought that, I would thank you, of course. Next, I'd be a little shaken and yet highly amused that suddenly I could hear people's thoughts and I'd probably spend a small amount of time ignoring you (forgive me) as I considered who I'd apply this skill to. Finally, I'd be compelled to ask "Geez! Whatever made you think I was the 'princess-y' type? Gah! Oh, and do you think 'princess-y' is, in fact, a word? Ok, then what about 'gah'? It's ok if you just think your answer. Just let me tune in."
Then you'd be like "Well, I think you bypassed that whole princess thing and stepped right into the big throne 'cause I can certainly tell you're the frickin' queen of something alright. Queen of the bitches, that is."
I'd agree of course, and then be all, "Well then, lowly serf, off with your frickin' head!"
Or something. My imagination is pretty much what carries me through a day, and since my days are now spent toiling like Cinderella for her wicked stepmother at the bookstore, my imagination is in tip top condition.
Thanks, all you stay at home dads, for contributing to that, btw.
Anyway, I truly am not the "princess-y" type; however, I think I could rock a castle. Alas, the closest I'll get to a real castle is one that's inflatable and there's a bunch of screaming kids teeming about. Jumping. Not listening. One errant leap away from breaking a nose or blackening an eye.
And did I mention screaming?
So, this pretty much describes how I already live. Minus the inflatable castle. And the tiara, which, I gotta admit, I think I'd look stunning in.
I'd wear it as I rule over the Land of I've Got Nothing Better Than This Right Now. It's pretty cool here. Plus, there's unicorns. Join me until I have things to write about, won't you? I'm pretty sure the unicorns are up for giving rides (I'd be the queen, after all, and thus could decree it. I imagine, anyway. Honestly, I'm not a big fan of unicorns, so I don't know the rules), and if you ask nicely, I'll let you wear the tiara for a minute.
But for just a minute. I don't need any bounce house palace overthrowin' going on. One slip wearing that thing and you could poke a hole in my house, you know. And seriously, someone will get a black eye.
Yeah. I'll stop typing now. It's your turn now. Feel free to comment randomly about whatever you wish.
Labels: thank you for a funky time...
posted by for a different kind of girl @ 12:57 AM
20 Comments:
I'm sure you could "rock a castle". I don't think I want to wear the Tiara, but I'd be interested in meeting the Unicorns!
um, exCUSE me! You have told me numerous times that the tiara is mine when you are not wearing it, and now here you are whoring out the tiara like it is an oreo cakester in heat. WTF? Needless to say I am extremely disappointed.
Unicorns? I thought you spent most of your time riding dolphins.
Thanks, I'll be here all week, be sure to try the veal and don't forget to tip your waitress.
Hey, I thought I was the unicorn! The whole, 'horse-with-one-very-large-horn' thing. . . Remember?
But, it's probably just as well, 'cuz, if I'm the unicorn, there wouldn't be any 'unicorn rides' for anyone but Molly. . .
;)
i've always wanted to try really long hair extensions. i guess it's enuf that i wore a tiara on my wedding day. it's kind of a sick world where all women secretly (or not so secretly) want to be princesses.
I don't want to be a princess. I mean then I'd have to wear a dress.
A baby spit up on me today. She's a cutie so I let it slide-this time. Next time though-might not be so lucky.
Do you think Rob Thomas is gay? He's pretty damn hot I think. My gaydar goes off though when I see him. I think the batteries are goin' dead. I bang it on my leg [my gaydar] like I do with the flashlights and its still wonkers.
Yeah so that's about as random as I got goin' on in my head at the moment. If anything else should pop up in the next half hour while I'm home for lunch I'll come back and letcha know.
Gah!
I hear bounce houses are rated 5 star in some circles. You should really consider becoming Queen!
Why is it that I feel tired no matter how little--3 hours--or how much--8 hours--sleep I get. Hmmmmph. I can't win in this game. I apparently don't even know any of the rules.
shozovrlde
Yeah, I thought you were like Ariel or something. I don't know, did she even ride dolphins? I never saw that movie. I never saw Star Wars either. Gosh, now I probably won't get invited to the party. Fine, then, just fine! I've got my own damn tiara.......
Ok, that got me going. I feel better now, thanks.
According to my niece princess-y is definately a word - but she's 3 so what does she know? I say go with it, but be a cool princess (though with a tiara and a bounce house, it's hard not to be cool, right?)
Does wearing a tierra for your wedding count? That's the only time I think I've wore one...unless you want to count paper ones from Burger King or something. Then again, those aren't tierras, are they....crowns, tierras...they're all the same.
sailor - what if, by chance, it turned out I had a jaunty crown you could try on for a few minutes? I hear unicorns dig 'em.
rs - Now, now. I'm being nice to the others here, RS. You know you're gonna get more tiara time, so don't be going all "whore this" and "whore that" on me now! Geez. If I had a dollar for every time someone has used the word "whore" around me lately I'd be comfortably able to get a tank of gas. Geez...
Thanks for making me think of Cakesters again, too, btw. Spongy blobs of perfection...
FTN - Drink up, folks. This is our headliner for the week. Touring the midwest routinely, straight outta county fairs and community festivals.
Alas, sigh, had I been on the ball, I'd have so gone for mythical dolphins. Why are you never there for me when I need you? Sigh...Some doppleganger you're turnin' out to be!
Desmond - Did *I* refer to you as a horse with one horn before?! I use so many words around here and elsewhere that I can't recall!
If you're not available for rides, can the children feed you apples and sugar cubes? I mean, I assume unicorns eat the same things as regular horses.
Leaving now with the hopes that last paragraph can't be transformed into a double entendre...
you da mom! - You know, I think you're on to something there. I never outwardly wished to be a princess, but I'm sporting a rather regal get up in the wedding photos.
I, too, would like to try hair extensions, but my hair now is so long and heavy that I'm afraid I'd be lost under all of them.
kimmyk - In my queendom, it would be mandated that all royalty don jeans or sensible work pants. And comfortable shoes. And bras that don't even feel like you're wearing one. I'll have the magic men get on that one as soon as possible. Therefore, I decree you join me from time to time in the palace. For visiting.
The neighbor kid jacked up my downstairs toilet today. Jacked. It. Up. Hardcore. Does that match baby spit up? God. I told him next time he's gotta drop, go home!
I'm gonna go with no on Rob Thomas being gay. He is, however, a very primpted and pretty man. I wonder if I have gaydar. I've been pretty spot on, though I question some tactics of some people I've encountered lately. Now, what is your opinion of that Johnnie Reznik from Goo Goo Dolls? Gay or nay?
That's my rambling for now. I usually have more. I mean, I *know* I have a lot more to share. But I will spare you for now. If you ever wish to stop by on your lunch break, we can dish.
Nan - I'm thinking that bounce house is going to be my throne! I'm easily swayed by the five star ratings!
With you on the sleep thing. Geez. I have found, however, that this is truly impossible game to play. It gets made up as you go along and not a damn soul but the puppetmaster knows the rules and the rules are conveniently never discussed before the first dice is rolled.
urbkncntrlnw
Phyllis - I think Ariel just rode around with the aid of her magnificant mermaid tale. Alas, I've never wished to be a mermaid.
I shall forgive you not having seen Star Wars. I trust (fingers crossed) however, that you have seen all my mandatory 80s teen movies...
mandy lou - Thank you for your visit and comment. I'm pleased that princess-y is, in fact, a word. I take the word of a five year old regularly, so I have no qualms with what a three year old says! I would totally have to be a cool princess, though. Definitely.
wethyb - I think it should count. I mean, my own wedding tiara was rather small, yet stately, but I'd totally count it because they look far prettier than those cardboard BK crowns.
Goo Goo Dolls huh? Never paid much attention to him. He doesn't make my pink parts tingle. I'm goin' with gay on this one.
Anyone else we should drag out of the closet this morning?
Well, if you have a jaunty crown, I'm there!
You know, I really don't remember exactly where I was called a 'unicorn', and comments were made about 'one very large horn' and 'horses, and how they're hung', and so forth. But I was happy to have it applied to me, if only electronically. . .
And, I have no doubt that, in your capable hands, a double-entendre will soon be forthcoming (HAH! forth-COMING, get it?) (and I won't even go to the 'dolphin-ride' bit and 'fourth-coming'; 'cuz I don't wanna get any ruder than I have to. . .) (yeef; I can't believe myself, sometimes. . .)
And, I'm thinking of hanging a sign on my front porch, referring to our humble domicile as 'The Bounce House'. Eight kids and all, doncha know. . .
kimmyk - I have a weak bone for musicians. Tingly pink parts and all, you know. Some, of course, set the tingle off harder than others. Some you come to realize after reading Tiger Beat or BOP! magazine (is that just me? I mean, it can't REALLY just be me...) suck. Suck ass, actually. Does that mean their gay? Eh. Whatever. They're still pretty, and I can gather make up and hairstyling tips from them.
Alas, I'm a fan of the gritty, dirty musician. Those is parts tingling boys.
Sailor - I'll ensure the jewels are properly encrusted and have my palace guards be on the lookout for your arrival.
Desmond - OOOH! Look who is busting out with the double entendre so capably this early in the a.m.? Is it me? Nope! It's you! Around 10 a.m., I'm going to think of the perfect one in response to that capable hands/forthcoming thing and be irritated that I'm at work and can't get it up here immediately. I trust you'll feel sorry for me!
If you do such a sign on your porch, there should be pictures. And sigh, I don't know how you function with eight. Six kids, one with stuff coming out of their body, and their obvlivious parents kinda set my nerves on edge some afternoons in the store. It is then that *I* need a bounce house!
Mostly the five-star rated kind.
as long as jared leto isn't gay i'm happy. somethin bout him....yowza.
i dont read BOP but I do read through teen vogue. it works when I'm in the potty.
I don't know where my first comment went...blogger hell I guess, but after reading thru the comments, I gotta tell you, if Johnny Reznik is gay I'm going to start cutting!
And that is THAT!
kimmyk - Sweet Baby Jesus. You and I are gonna have to tag team the Jared Leto action, my friend. Eyeliner? Check. Emo? Check. Secretly in love with me in my pretend world? Check. I suppose we could flip a coin to see who gets him first, but if I *accidently* elbow you to get to him first, know that I only do it with love...
Stacie - There is a time and a place for bloodletting, my friend. I'm pretty sure Johnny R. is straight up straight, so no blood shall be spilled around here!
Glad you showed up! I was starting to worry about you!
Did I mention I was back? so.. um what's your second wish?
Savage - well, well, well. looky loo who's back...i guess my second wish has already been answered...
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