...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

luck o' the iris


"Would you like some iris bulbs?" my mother in law called to ask me this weekend. As I'm in the habit of doing when asked almost any kind of question (seriously), I gushed a hearty "Yes!" while my mind was tapping its cerebral cortex and asking "Um, what do you really think you're going to do with those?"

So anyway, the iris bulbs. I love irises. I truly do. Their shape and colors. I find them magnificent. But I'm not a green thumb. I plant something and then forget all about it. It's a miracle my children are alive, to be frank.

(not really! geez! what do you take me for!?)

So home comes this bag chock full of iris bulbs. It's been sitting on my kitchen counter (where all things aside from my children go to die), for a couple of days. I've been meaning to research when to plant them, what conditions they need, how to nurture them. You know. Just trying to make a good show of it. But last night, as I'm moving the bag to make way for more stuff to take root on my counters, I notice the label my mother in law taped to the bag so I wouldn't forget this earthly smelling bag of dirt and twisted roots and dried leaves contained iris bulbs and saw this: Irish bulbs.
Now, I have to admit, I'm kind of hoping that next spring, after these bulbs have survived a rugged winter akin to the potato famine years, they will sprout up as red headed, Guinness drinking, whiskey chasin', quick tempered, Sunday, Bloody Sunday singing beauties with thick accents and a desire to grow up to be either president of the United States or a New York City cop.
Plus, could you imagine the brawls they'd get into with my Scottish pines?

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11 Comments:

Blogger FTN said...

I wouldn't know an Irish bulb from an iris bulb if it bit me on my non-Irish buttocks.

So what can I say here?

Well, I can kindly remark that telling people that you're in the habit of saying a hearty "yes!" when asked almost any kind of question really opens up the doors on this blog to a lot of... well... I won't go any farther.

But just think of the things I could be asking you in email!

[Runs off to compose something...]

Wednesday, October 03, 2007 8:48:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Top o' the marnin' to ya, luv!

Hey, when I met my birth-father, I found out I was part-Irish, too!

But you know, if you've been following Notre Dame football this year (not that I even remotely suppose you have; just taking my opportunity where I can find it), the Luck o' the Irish might seem not to be quite what it once was. . .

Faith 'n' begorrah!

And, what was the name of that girl from 'Oklahoma' who "cain't say 'no'"?

Wednesday, October 03, 2007 8:56:00 AM  
Blogger Sailor said...

And if they bloom by St. Paddy's day, you'll have a parade in the garden.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007 9:36:00 AM  
Blogger Stacie said...

Plant the iris' NOW before the ground freezes. The bulbs need the cold this year to bloom next year. Dust them with Sevin insecticide as you plant them to keep them from being attacked by pests...after they are done blooming, do not trim them back, let the foliage die back, it feeds the bulbs so they can bloom again the following year.
Stacie

Wednesday, October 03, 2007 9:59:00 AM  
Anonymous you da mom! said...

awesome. i hope they are wearing pointy-toe boots and rocking their feet back and forth on an amp like bono does in the live aid video.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007 10:42:00 AM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

oh yeah see. my kids are like your kids apparently-it's a wonder they've made it this long. i so do not have a green thumb.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007 12:05:00 PM  
Blogger Bunny said...

Mammals I can grow. My pets all live a ridiculously long time, lets hope it works that way with my kids too! And I do okay with perennials like iris, tulip, etc. Give me an annual or an indoor plant and I'll kill it faster than you can say "where's the plant food, honey?"

All my roses have british names, perhaps your irish bulbs can come brawl with them.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007 1:51:00 PM  
Blogger Choppzs said...

I love plants, flowers and gardening, but I have the hugest black thumb around. I kill everything I touch! lol Good luck with yours!

Wednesday, October 03, 2007 5:48:00 PM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Next year, potatoes. Feast or famine or so I've been told.

I really should avoid commenting when tired, really I should. :P

amsjhxs

Wednesday, October 03, 2007 9:41:00 PM  
Blogger Recovering Soul said...

Hey lady, long time no talk.

What is it with people expecting other people to be able to plant things? I once got a plant that couldn't die as a housewarming gift, and you know what? It died.

Just so you know, I do a mean "Sunday Bloody Sunday".

Thursday, October 04, 2007 7:37:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

FTN - Well, I do say other things besides a hearty "yes" when asked questions. Sometimes, I mean, really I know all I have to work with is Costco dog blabbering, but if it's necessary to precede such scintillating story telling with a "yes," then I'll do it. If you care to test that theory, you know where to find me.

Yes. Inside your soul, you wacky doppelganger, you...

Desmond - I totally read your comment with the Irish accent playing in my head. Through osmosis, I have, indeed, been following the Notre Dam fiasco this year. I have no vested interest in it, of course. But I do like to keep up so when I'm asked such things, I can do what?

Yes! Say "Yes. Yes, I do know!"

And the chick from "Oklahoma" - Ado Annie...

Sailor - I'd also like to think they'd be ragingly drunk by 10 a.m.!

Stacie - Ah! Why did I not immediately think to turn to you to see if you knew what to do! Thanks for the tips!!

you da mom - I fully anticipate one of them will be nominated for a Nobel prize and another longs for the days of running around the flower bed, waving a large white flag and assuring the others that this flower garden is not a rebel flower garden...

kimmyk - My thumb? It is actually black. Black as death. It's a wonder it doesn't steal the souls of the people I touch. But do not be afraid of me. No. And I don't say that just to lull you into a false sense of security and THEN steal your soul.

No. I leave that shit to other people. They're out there. I know it.

Bunny - For the sake of peace, I suppose we should do our best to keep your English roses and my Irish bulbs far away from each other. For the sake of the efforts of their ancestors, if for no other reason.

Choppzs - Yeah! Your back. Hope the home transformation is going well!

Nan - Ah, feast or famine. Or something like that. I believe I've heard a thing or two along that line. Just a matter of separating the myth from the mire.

RS - You're going to think this creepy, but I think I'm going to look into turning my thoughts into something the government may wish to harness for good. I thought this very morning "Where is that RS?" and then I turn on the computer, and there you were.

Scary, eh? But scary cool, right?

Speaking of scary - will you sport a mullet and wave the flag as you show off your Sunday Bloody Sunday skillz?


One more thing on scary, people - my computer. It is, I'm convinced, possessed by evil. I have little doubt the nasty has crept in it. Never let a vampire into your house. You're a sucker if you do, not just someone who gets sucked up. I need a holy man to come do a sprinkling on this thing. When I get it to work for me at a better clip, I'm coming to bug you...I'm not a vampire. You can invite me in...

Thursday, October 04, 2007 9:21:00 AM  

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