...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

first day of summer vacation

(or "How I May Have Shot My Wad Too Soon")

Tuesday was the first day of summer vacation for my boys. As the great prophet Alanis Morrisette once said, isn't it ironic that the day dawned with a monstrous rain and wind storm. Thanks, Mother Nature. Thanks for taunting us like we're hormonal teenage boys hoping to feel up your bosom when you flash us with your warm temperatures and sunny skies, only to have you give us flashes of lightening instead. You're a little minx, Mother Nature.

Left peering out the window like two unwanted orphans watching their little orphan friends drive happily away with their new families, my boys turned to me in hopes that I would be their summertime savior. All before I'd had breakfast!

I've declared this "The Summer We Don't Watch TV/Play PS2/Get On The Computer/Act Like Emo Teens Who Just Broke Up With Their Girlfriends (So Please Go Outside Already So Mommy Can Do Those Things)," but I've not had a great deal of time to bulk up my bag of tricks to make this plan possible, and the rain and their forlorn looks kind of caught me off guard. I spent several minutes repeating "Give me a minute, would ya?" until I came up with some standbys. So far for summer vacation, we've:
  • baked blueberry muffins. From scratch!
  • debated how the passage of 15 minutes feels vastly different from the whip speed frenzy of five minutes. Here's some magic for you - it's like three times as fast!
  • read five books.
  • answered 555 questions (seriously!)
  • baked three dozen chocolate chip cookies. From scratch! (Thanks, Mother Nature. You're a temptress AND an enabler, and my ass says no more, dammit!)
  • chuckled to myself at the idea of my ass actually speaking, then explained the reason for my giddiness to the boys without actually using the word ass.
  • Alas...used the word pee and poop a lot in a debate about who and what pees and poops. Just because it's summer vacation, it doesn't mean the learning hast to come to a constipated halt. I finally won the discussion by referring the good book...
  • ...or so I thought until we made up songs about peeing and pooping (sample lyric: "Peeing is freeing, you can do it while you're kneeling. Pooping beats snooping, you can do it while you're stooping." I smell Grammy, my friends! And that's ALL I hope I smell!).

When there was finally a small break in the storms, I slathered the boys in sunscreen and hustled them out to the car so we could exploring new parks in hopes of finding one that wasn't too muddy. We thought we'd discovered the perfect one when we spied one teeming with young kids monkeying around the bars and slipping down the slides. So many kids, in fact, it made it far too difficult to do any of Backpacking Dad's playground workout, thus forcing me to find a comfortable spot at a picnic table after playing with the boys a bit, and search out a moment of peace in this first full day of summer vacation.

The weather calls for rain the remainder of our week here, and I'm a bit concerned that I may have given all I've got to this summer vacation before one full day comes to an end. It's quite possible that by around 1:38 p.m., Thursday, I'm going to be out of ideas to make this a great summer for the boys, and will cave on the whole "...Summer We Don't Watch TV/Play PS2/Get On The Computer/Act Like Emo Teens Who Just Broke Up With Their Girlfriends..." thing, much to the boys' delight (and, I actually think, perhaps their plan because, and I could be wrong, but I think I heard them chanting something that may have been a prayer to the rain gods as I was yanking that first dozen cookies out of the oven because seriously, the kids love the Playstation). However, if that does seem to be the case, I can fall back on the tried and true standby. Sing it with me, won't you?

"Peeing is freeing, you can do it while you're kneeling. Pooping beats snooping, you can do it while you're stooping."



Blogger kimmyk said...

mother nature has shown her ugly face around these parts everyday since sunday.

i like her y'know, but i dont think she's one of those girls i woulda been friends with in high school. and i was friends with a lot of girls in high school. except denise smith. she got on my nerves. and she smelled funky...like kerosene or something i dunno. anyways. what??????????? oh yeah....

schools out for summer. (did you hear alice cooper when you read that DKOG? cause i totally was sitting here banging my head while hearing his creepy voice in my head)

enjoy your summahtime sum sum summahtime break with your boys and in three short months from now we shall rejoice and bake fresh chocolate chip cookies (from scratch!) for the bus driver when they return to take our lovelies away once again!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 4:54:00 AM  
Blogger Wonderful World of Weiners said...

You said PEE and POOP!! You're a COOL mom!!


Wednesday, June 04, 2008 6:41:00 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

oooh I am so lucky this summer. Last day of school here is the 9th, and then my daughter decided to go to summer school for 3 whole weeks to get advanced credit. Yay! Plus we just got a Wii and no way am I putting it away for the summer. lol

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 6:45:00 AM  
Blogger Bijoux said...

I always liked that poop book better than Capt.Underpants!
And I can't believe you make cookies from scratch. You so put me to shame...

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 6:53:00 AM  
Blogger Bogart said...

I love me some fresh blueberry muffins...and Chocolate Chip Cookies are touched by God.

I love Everybody Poops. It is fantastic.

Also, you should look into year round school...it made life a lot easier for my parents and I loved it!!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 7:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps you could try some arts and crafts, or teach them a new language. I hear both macrame and Tosk are highly rewarding.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 7:56:00 AM  
Blogger 1blueshi1 said...

boy I wish ya'll lived closer because nothing entertains kids like...other kids. seriously you would think adding more would make more brain drain on the mom but when Zac's friends are over the math works more like this: my 2 kids + me=crazy mom
my 2 kids + somebody's else's + me= hmm, haven't heard or seen anyone in an hour or so, maybe I should get up from the computer & check to make sure they're all breathing...surely someone would have notified me if there was arterial bleeding.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 9:19:00 AM  
Blogger David said...

I love it when a fellow Canadian (Alanis Morissette) is quoted.
We are a proud people I guess.
Nice post, and thanks

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 9:37:00 AM  
Blogger Backpacking Dad said...

Do you need anything done inexpertly around the house? Because now is the time to harness all of that kid energy to get the garage cleaned out or a garden planted or something. As a summer rule tell them they can earn cash for the chores and then use it to buy Playstation time (or just use it buy hookers and candy)...but make the Playstation time a little expensive, while keeping the "go play outside while mommy naps" time free.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 10:11:00 AM  
Blogger cat said...

OK... what is with all the US schools ending so early??? Schools in Canada (speaking from a Quebec perspective here) go until JUNE 23!!

So unfair.

You know what else is unfair? That when you work for a living you no longer get your summers off like you did when you were in school. Unless you're a teacher. That's a drag!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 10:15:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Our kids are done after Friday. Which fills Molly with existential dread (so yeah - did you ever expect to see the words 'existential dread' in your comment space?).

But she's a stern taskmaster, on her better days. Out of bed by 9AM (yeah, real tough), and the hours before noon are marked off for 'chore-type' activities - laundry/cleaning, or summer reading (they each have to pick a book(s) to read over the summer; mental enrichment, dontcha know), and only once the work is done are they free to play. And NO TV!!! (that's three, count 'em, three exclamation points; for emphasis) Unless, you know, it rains for three days straight, in which case we might have been known to resort to a Veggie Tales marathon. . .

At least, that's the plan. . .

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 11:17:00 AM  
Blogger Eternal Sunshine said...

I wish I could be home with the kids for the summer. Wait, who said that?? Sure that would last all of a week...

The age old question: Why are boys (and their mothers) so facinated with bodily functions?

Seriously, though. If you really truly need fun-craft-like ideas for stuff to do - I really like http://www.makeandtakes.com/ and http://scribbit.blogspot.com/

Not that I have time to do any of those things with my kids... They look cool, though. And someday, I'm gonna be Supermom.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 11:41:00 AM  
Blogger Bunny said...

Rain had to hit the midwest this week, as we had a picnic or planned park outing scheduled with a school/church/autism society group EVERY DAY this week. Alanis Morissette indeed!

My kindergartener's last day is Friday. It's going to be a long summer.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 11:58:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

It could be worse. Just think, your oldest could be getting constant calls from girls, and you'd have to wonder what he was out doing all the time.

My kids have been out of school for almost two whole weeks now, by the way. Because the last day of kindergarten (May 27) can't compete with a pre-planned vacation (May 24).

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 1:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh. My. God. I used to be a nanny and reading about having to entertain kids for an entire summer actually gave me the cold sweats.

Good luck with keeping them off the PlayStation.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 3:34:00 PM  
Blogger Me said...

You're more ambitious than I am and my girls aren't even in school yet :)

I added ya to the blog. Just wanted to make sure you got the email :)

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 3:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh Diff Gal! I can't stop singing that song now! that tune is gonna haunt me for life!

girl, i gave up doing jack squat 3 days into summer. it's been Spongebob marathons while i piddle around the house in my pj's ever since. oh summer! glorious summer! how i hate thee.

seriously, georgia summers are horrible.

Have wonderful evening, my favorite Different Kinda Gal!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 5:51:00 PM  
Blogger That girl from Shallotte said...

"Peeing is freeing, you can do it while you're kneeling. Pooping beats snooping, you can do it while you're stooping."

For the rest of the night, I'll be singing, "When you're walking down the beach and the bathroom's out of reach..."

Yes. I am that juvenile. Raise hell this summer! (Did Midwestern kids write that in yearbooks?)

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 8:45:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

ha ha!! I love the lyrics and yeah, we have rain too.

My mom used to ship us off to summer school. Not mandatory but she really liked her novelas!
J/K. She worked full time.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 9:41:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

kimmy - I used to know a kid in school who at crayon shavings. It's impressive when someone smiles at you and their teeth are the Sea Foam Green and Burnt Sienna.

WW of W - And sometimes, sadly, I talk about farts. No wonder the neighbor kids are always over here.

Heather - Based on all the Play-Dough, Magic Sand, action figures, etc., etc., I've been picking up after alreadly, in 2 days, I might rethink this PS2 thing.

Cocotte - Capt. Underpants gets a bad rap. So do refrigerated cookie dough, which (shhh!) I sometimes make far more often than cookies from scratch!

Bogart - Around here, we've not embraced the idea of year-round school yet. I should maybe take some of my Touched by God Chocolate Chip Cookies to our local school board and se if they'd give it a shot.

Twobusy - I was giving latch hook rugs some consideration. We also spoke in Ubby-Dubby part of the day yesterday. I hope that gets them far in life!

1blueshi1 - I totally agree. When the neighbor kids are here (and they are here all the freakin' time!) I rarely have to give thought to my own kids. Until my youngest comes crying about something, then I'm tired of being the town babysitter! However, if I lived closer, I'd gladly work out a co-op system with you!

David - Alanis has gotten the love here from time to time. You're welcome!

BP Dad - You are a genius! However, the boys are all "PFFFT! We're too busy to do your business, woman. We got meth to cook, yo. We gonna gets us a Wii. Playstation is whack, lady."

I was all "People still say 'whack?'" Then I rolled over on the couch and went back to napping.

Cat - June 23rd?! By then, why bother letting out for the summer! Speaking of summer vacations, that's the great thing about part time retail jobs. You can be sort of fooled into thinking you're getting a break, but whoops! Gotta go back on Tuesday!

Desmond - Molly has it down to a science. I'm doing quasi-well on the whole NO TV!!! thing, but I need to get organized yet. Camps kick in next week, so that'll help a bit. Now, if I could just get these kids to sleep until 9...

Melody - I love those sites. I looked at them. They look like they have lots of great ideas, so I bookmarked them. Oh, but I am so not the crafty mom. I'm the game, book, cooking, bike riding, playing mom, but I totally suck at crafts. Sometimes, perfectionism is a killer!

Bunny - It poured here last night, but the sun is out right now, so we may be on our first park/picnic day today. We have to pack all that stuff in before it gets insanely hot.

FTN - The girls just come directly to the door. They sidestep this whole calling first thing. I'm a grown up and still don't know as many people as my kid does.

Meg - Just reading you were a nanny gave ME the shivers!

Wethyb - Ha! I'll burn out really fast. That's my usual habit! (I saw the email, and I'm coming over when I get the chance for some computer time!)

Katie - It's catchy, isn't it!? Ha! I'm a piddler by nature, so I've been a little shaky already, only two days into summer vacation, wanting to piddle around and get my stuff done, so I feel your pain!

That Girl - Oh, lord, yes, we most definitely scrawled that in the pages of our yearbooks! Along with the BFF4EVR anagram. So super cool, and still super juvenile (without the awkward looks and bad hair!)

Bee - Ha! My mom worked full time AND still locked us out of our own houses over summer vacation!

Thursday, June 05, 2008 10:10:00 AM  
Blogger Summer Rose said...

Wow school is already out in the mid-west. We have another week of school, J is very behind in math and reading. He will be getting a full dose of each subject. And swimming in the back swimming pool.

Thursday, June 05, 2008 10:33:00 AM  
Blogger Choppzs said...

I started singing your song to my boys. In hopes it would help potty training Baby Boy.

All I got were raised eyebrows and goofy looks.

They are to damn smart!

It didn't work. Maybe if I add this last line..

If you be a big boy and sit on the toilet seats, you will be happy when you get your candy treats. ??????

We could create a potty training song and sell it!!!! lol

Thursday, June 05, 2008 11:57:00 AM  
Blogger Chelle Blögger said...

Oh boy do I know how you feel as it has been raining here all week.

To top it off, we just bought a new camper and live with Yellowstone as our backyard but do you think that b*tch Mother Nature cares?!

No, she does not and I do not like her one bit right now. :(

Thursday, June 05, 2008 7:35:00 PM  
Blogger Mandy said...

oooh brother...

here's a few ideas taken from my old neighbour's kids:

1. shoot a bb gun at random moving objects in the neighbourhood

2. play kick the can at midnight

3. take up drums and then have a loud party

other than that, i'm outta ideas myself

Thursday, June 05, 2008 8:06:00 PM  
Blogger The Savage said...

Crapping is zapping. Just don't do it while napping....

I so lust you even though I am rarely here anymore....

Oh yeah.. I'll get the pink frosting for you....

Thursday, June 05, 2008 8:34:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Summer - Wow, you west coasters know how to do this school thing up right!

Choppzs - OMG! Let's immediately get this deal trademarked! That is perfect! I'm singing it, and my boys are well trained already! Catchy! People buy that stuff up!

The Offended Blogger - Mother Nature is a tease. She's the kind fo girl all the high school boys talked about in the locker room. Thanks for coming by and reading!

Mandy - I think your old neighbors moved to my street. They also like to rev up their motorcycle really early in the morning, have keg parties in their garage with all their drug-adled friends, and make out with a different girl in the driveway while my kids wonder what's going on.

Savage - When you're able to give me lines like the crapping and napping one, you best find a way to get here more often! With the pink frosting!

Friday, June 06, 2008 9:57:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Wait a minute. . .

Your neighbors make out with a Different Girl in the driveway, while your kids wonder what's going on?

I shouldn't wonder that they'd wonder. . .

So. . . uh, the Tool Man is OK with this?

Just askin'. . .

Friday, June 06, 2008 12:40:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Des - Dude, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do...

Friday, June 06, 2008 2:10:00 PM  

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