...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

why my marriage holds water

If there's one thing my Tool Man's good at, it's the fine art of seduction.

I paused after typing that sentence and looked to the end of the couch, where Tool Man's currently perched, intently watching the classic Beneath Loch Ness on the Sci Fi channel, to determine if I could pick up a vibe on anything else he's good at, but I'm coming up blank. This kind of makes me feel bad. Kind of. Because if you're going to be good at something, the fine art of seduction ain't too shabby.

Especially when you nail it as easily as Tool Man does.

And by "nail it" I don't always mean me.

Oh, who am I kidding. I always mean me, because if you had a front row seat to our romance, you'd see how easily I cave. Mostly after rolling my eyes and muttering "Are you kidding me with this?" But he gets as excited as I do when we stumble upon Road House on television - "Do you enjoy pain?" "Pain don't hurt," baby - so I'd follow him to the ends of the earth.

This weekend, I followed him into my mom's and my in law's basements. We've had a ton of rain this past week, and both basements flooded. After trips to my mom's to move furniture and Shop Vac, we'd head over to my in law's to stare at the water spouting up from the sump pump. It was a messy, smelly, exhausting experience.

Kind of like sex.

Which Tool Man tried to get off me when, as we emerged from his parent's basement for the final time, he turned back to me, smirked, and said with absolute double entendre dripping from his words, "We should get home. You're soaking."

I rolled my eyes. Smacked him. Then pushed him out the door and into the truck, telling him to drive hella fast before I completely dried off.

But then we got home and discovered Road House was on VH1, so, you know, we looked at each other, simultaneously said "Rain check?" (because we're clever, the way we tie in the art of the seduction and the pause button). Then I asked him "How's a guy like you end up a bouncer?" and he replied, "Just lucky I guess."

Oh, he'll get lucky. I'm a total caver. That nailing it bit (plus being able to quote Swayze? Oh, hell yeah!) gets me every time.



Blogger Melissa said...

The flooding! It needs to stop!

The fine art of seduction, however? There's always room for more.

Sunday, June 08, 2008 11:32:00 PM  
Blogger Choppzs said...

Rain check is always the saying of the day here! lol

Sunday, June 08, 2008 11:49:00 PM  
Blogger 1blueshi1 said...

Chemistry will definitely keep a couple together...the DH may have gotten lucky even in the hospital after our kids were born. well the first one anyway, the room was a little crowded after the second! hehehe

Monday, June 09, 2008 6:52:00 AM  
Blogger Zeno said...

I'm glad for you and Toolman. Seems that there are two or three must haves each spouse needs. If they can take care of those for the other, the rest is insignificant.

Monday, June 09, 2008 8:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes, i pull the ole rain check quite frequently here! hehe!

you have a great weekm, girlfriend. :)

Monday, June 09, 2008 8:10:00 AM  
Blogger Backpacking Dad said...

she won't watch "Road House", no matter how awesome I tell her it is.

Monday, June 09, 2008 8:54:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Aw, you guys are so cute, goin' all Double-E on each other all the time like that. Just wait 'til yer boys start bein' able to pick up on it, tho. . .

And, hey, thanx for sendin' the hurricane stuff on to us. One day of tree limbs in the road and downed power lines is about all we're used to. Three of 'em in a row. . . Yeef. . .

Monday, June 09, 2008 9:14:00 AM  
Blogger Phyllis Renée said...

I need a basement . . .

Monday, June 09, 2008 10:19:00 AM  
Blogger Bogart said...

Here's to a life long pursuit of fore-play.

Monday, June 09, 2008 10:26:00 AM  
Blogger Bee said...

You know what my favorite thing to do is? *Not get* Andy's double E. I'm all "What? Whadda ya mean you'd like me to eat some sausage? You know I can't stand any type of meat that’s encased in thin plasticy like substance!"

Are you sure you don’t want some sausage???

NO! If I get hungry, I’ll just have a grilled cheese!

How fun! :o)

Monday, June 09, 2008 2:16:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

Oh and uh, it seems we are destined to have as crappy a summer as we did a witer!

Monday, June 09, 2008 2:17:00 PM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Oh, and mad props on the Label line; it ain't too common to hear people quoting lyrics from 'Ram'. . .

Monday, June 09, 2008 2:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the double entendre. At least you got a rain check AND got to enjoy Road House. Fun times.

Monday, June 09, 2008 3:33:00 PM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

i use to have road house on vhs.
if i knew where it was i'd send it to ya and you could pop it in everytime you were feelin' frisky. it could be like code so the boys dont know what you're talking about.

think about it.

around these parts-our code word is "you need help folding laundry, kim?"

that usually gets an eyeroll from me, but that's not the point.

Monday, June 09, 2008 9:08:00 PM  
Blogger David said...

The art of a good double entendre has always intrigued me and made me smile

Tuesday, June 10, 2008 7:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How fortunate you are to have a relationship built so solidly.

Even if you live your life on the Width of a Line, you will never say he was the One That Got Away!

Thanks for sharing.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008 9:01:00 AM  
Blogger Eternal Sunshine said...

I have nothing clever to say (do I ever??), I really don't "get" the whole Roadhouse thing. Not really sure why... Maybe I should revisit it

But, I wanted to thank you for your comment yesterday. There will be more details, but it's not appropriate to post any at this time, so it will have to wait.

Thanks again.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008 9:30:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

Of all the things that might be cause for a sex rain-check... Road House would be nowhere near the top of the list.

Actually, now that I think about it, that list is pretty much blank.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008 10:49:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Melissa - The rain? Tired of it. The basement? Bored. The fine art of seduction? Keep it coming.

Choppzs - We could print up pretty little rain check coupons!

1blueshi1 - I'd have gotten it on in the hospital after giving birth to my second! Hell, I was ready to get pregnant again about an hour after he was born. The ony problem with my plan was an ill-placed epidural that had left me numb in places I wasn't supposed to be. And an inability to move much. This was not a turn on to my husband!

D - Thank you. The Tool Man and I seem to have a pretty good system working for us.

Katie - Can I interest you in some pretty little rain check coupons you could hand out?!

BP Dad - Blasphemy! That movie is awesome to the infinite power! What can I do to help you solve this problem?!

Des - In this house, I wear the pants when it comes to the mastery of the Double E, but the man is learning to kick it up a bit if he wants to play in the big leagues!

Phyllis - There are ways to work around this lack of a basement. Might I suggest a truck? Or getting your husband to go work for a major tool company? Or watch countless episodes of Beavis and Butthead?

Bogart - Anything that he can do to make me roll my eyes at him pretty much counts as such!

Bee - Oh, I LOVE the "What? What do you mean? I don't get what you're saying!" game, too! This same water based theme goes on every time I take a shower, too.

And once again, last night, another electrical storm. I'm waiting for something new out of Mother Nature. My guess? She's gonna pull out the "Oh, so you wanted heat and humidity, eh?" card next.

Des - Thank you. Now I must I go have another look and have a cup of tea and a butter pie...

Meg - The combination is combustible!

kimmy - Road House?! On VHS!! Oh, Momma likey!

David - When it works, it just works. When it's clever, it works even better!

Chexmate - I'm going to tell him that tonight!

Melody - Oh, the power of Road House rests in it's awesome overacting, stunning special effects, and Patrick Swayze doing the tai chi while another male character watches, bemused. It's all magic!

FTN - Never underestimate the power that is The Swayze. Also, rest assured, before the end credits were complete, sex had commenced. I may hold onto gift cards for a long time, but I cash in those rain checks pretty damn fast.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008 1:33:00 PM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Butter pie?

The butter wouldn't melt, so I put it in the pie

Tuesday, June 10, 2008 3:00:00 PM  
Blogger Lipstick Jungle said...

I have so much I could say, but I will bite my tongue - I have been lashing out at your southern state too much this week!

All I can say is I am jealous. Jealous that your tool man gets double E, and uses it. Mine thinks he has mastered it, but really, it doesnt really work. Hehehehe.. Of course trucking terms are not the same as tool terms...


Tuesday, June 10, 2008 9:26:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Des - Oh, Des! You know I could go on and on!

Jules - Perhaps if you spelled advertising correctly, I'd be more inclined to believe you. Plus, I assume you have my URL since you found my blog. Wait! Engaging, you say? Would you pay to get my kids through college? Hmmmm....

Lori - Ha! We are strong and hearty here in my state! I can take what you're dishing out! Now, about this trucking thing...you know the obvious...hahahaha...

Wednesday, June 11, 2008 12:22:00 AM  
Blogger Bijoux said...

Oh FADKOG - your response to Jules just cracks me up! You're so NOT a sell out!!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008 7:15:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Cocotte - Ha! But sometimes I dream of the free swag I could enjoy!

Thursday, June 12, 2008 8:45:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Someday, when we're dreaming, deep in love, not a lot to say. . .

Thursday, June 12, 2008 9:33:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Des - Then I will remember things we said today.

I've some history with that one.

Thursday, June 12, 2008 9:46:00 AM  

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