...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

all is quiet on new year's day? where. I want to go there.

Guess what. It's the end of 2008, and after a year of wordy word wordiness (tm), I've got nothing profound to share with you this New Year's Eve, which is fitting, really, because you're right. I've not really had much of anything profound to say to you all year (except maybe to you, Numby, to whom I say BOOBS! However, don't panic. I'm sure 2009 will bring more of the same).

What? You think I can't hear you muttering to your partner there in the back? I heard you. I'm a mom. It's a standard super power that comes with the territory. My kids still don't believe that's the case, even though earlier this year, I damn near had my oldest son convinced I was Wonder Woman. For real. Had I been able to pull off the invisible plane flight thing, I'd have been golden.

Speaking of my kids...OMG!! Remember when you were a kid and two weeks off for Christmas break was like the most amazing thing you ever could imagine outside of the eternity that was summer vacation? Well..haha...then you become a grown up and you decide to have kids and then those kids get two weeks off for Christmas break, and seriously!! I'm writing to you now from the grave because they have killed me!! You know I mean it because I just twice now used multiple exclamation points, and if there's one thing I like to keep to a minimum, it's punctuation. The only things I like in multiples are orgasms, scoops of ice cream, and episodes of my favorite show. Punctuation should be dished out in single servings. Especially periods, which I'm sorry, I realize I wrote about those a lot in 2008, and, sigh, guess what? I'm capping out the year with one because when the big ball drops at midnight, why would I want to be having sex, anyway? How boring! How predictable! YAWN!

(besides, that yawning business? Yeah, Tool Man will have been yawning so much prior to the New Year's countdown that he'll be asleep by 10:30 p.m., anyway)

But back to my kids and punctuation...

These kids have brought out the ZOMG!!! in me this week. Perhaps it's because their break started two and a half days earlier than planned due to the weather. Plus, get this - they go back to school on Monday, but then they have an early out on Wednesday. Because why not?

Oh, also? Around 11:45 p.m., last Sunday night, my Tool Man told me he wasn't working this week, either. So we've all been together. Happily. Loudly. Since last Wednesday. Toss my sister, her husband and their two daughters, shake it up with my Mom's neurosis, and my Dad's flitting in and out, and what a delightful cocktail you have.

Seriously - does anyone have a cocktail? Because I could really use one (and by one, I mean more than one. Because I should have also said I like my drinks in multiples of two, also. In fact, I'd willingly ingest enough at this moment for all of you to speak in hushed tones and worried voices, then gather together and stage an intervention for me in 2009).

I have no real resolutions for 2009. In the past, most of my resolutions were to, and I quote from the FADKOG Diaries dated 1983-1993, "find a kick ass boyfriend," but since marrying Tool Man in 1994, he tends to frown when I put that one at the top of my list. I assure him it's not like I've ever kept any of the resolutions I've ever made (except for him, of course, and yet, after this much time together under one roof this week, he's probably wishing he'd have bailed on me back in 1993 like all those other boys who didn't turn out to be quite so kick ass).

Since I have no real resolutions, I'll give you my fake ones:

  • Be super wordy while maintaining a fine balance of saying nothing at all
  • use the word boob and/or boobs as often as possible
  • retain some kick ass-ability
  • try yoga

I think I'm good for about three of those, since it's hard to quit doing what you do all the damn time, anyway. I'll end this here, then, since I apparently have to go blow the dust off my yoga DVDs and work on my downward facing dogs. I also have to go steel myself for some more family together time because I'll be spending my New Year's Eve at my niece's sixth birthday party. That's how the rock stars roll, yo.

Look at that. I told you I had nothing to say, and yet I filled this with a ton of nothing AND injected yet another video from my love. I'd say it's been a banner year.

Happy New Year's to all of you.




Blogger motherbumper said...

"Be super wordy while maintaining a fine balance of saying nothing at all" *chest thump of recognition* and that is why I love you (heh).

May 2009 be brimming with lots of kick ass-ability and boobs.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 12:06:00 PM  
Blogger Kat said...

I still try to find a kick ass boyfriend ;)...I mean umm..I am married to the most awesome man ever!

Happy New Year FADKOG!!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 12:07:00 PM  
Blogger PAPATV said...

Something about Yoga makes me horny, so maybe I'll take up Archery instead.

Seriously, though, you have a kick ass start to your 2009 whether it be at 10:30pm or Midnight!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 12:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hehe...you said "Dick" and "Boobs".

I resolve to be more mature in 2009.


Have fun getting drunk with a bunch of 6 year olds!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 12:20:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...


Wednesday, December 31, 2008 12:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just wanted to say thank you for providing me with so many opportunities to enjoy the palindromic wonders of the word "boob."

(clinking champagne glass)

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 1:09:00 PM  
Blogger Christina Lee said...

I am going beserko too this week with my little one under my feet-just wait until teenage-hood, huh?
Happy New Year, girl!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 1:37:00 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...


(Oh ick. I don't like that word. But it felt more original that boobs.)


I got it.

Tatas! Or my personal favorite...juicy, juicy mangos.

Don't ask.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 1:40:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...


And Happy New Year. Stay sane, my Internet BFF. Loves you lots.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 2:11:00 PM  
Blogger Mary Ellen said...

May you have a quiet, boob-filled New Year. And may you survive holiday vacation break.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 3:07:00 PM  
Blogger Bijoux said...

I hate "early release" school days AND yoga.

Dick Clark should NOT be rocking the New Year anymore. It makes me too depressed.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 3:47:00 PM  
Blogger Mandy said...

I was just thinking on the drive today (while escaping children for a few hours), that I love my kids dearly. But I love them even more when they're in school/daycare. And did my parents feel the same way? Say it ain't so!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 5:06:00 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

What happened to cheeky bastards?

Happy New Years!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 6:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's to a 2009 filled with word-wordiness to rock your socks off. Your wordiness is like that of no other and we look forward to it with wordless patience. Take care and God bless your new year.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 8:00:00 PM  
Blogger jennyonthespot said...

I'm so sorry. I am a multiple period whore - MPW. *shame*

I love your wory wordlessness... it reminds me of me and I am a huge fan of Me... and therefore... YOU :)

And I'm a little jealous you didn't direct BOOBS at me... (oh dear - more period whorishness!!! and exlamation points! I can't make it stop

May the new year find you facing the dog downward and suchness. And may it find you finding me finding you finding me commenting in order to continue the joy and silliness of our lives.

I think it's time for a drink. 2. No, 3.

Go kick ass! Mwah!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 8:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, to sum it up ... you like multiple orgasms. (Me too, but I did NOT just say it out loud, did I?)

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 9:42:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...


Thursday, January 01, 2009 12:45:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


1. My kids are off school till FEBRUARY

2. NYE was my anniversary.

3. I have my period (OMG! We are totally in synch, like BBF's or something)

4. My son slept in our bed NYE/our wedding anniversary.

So the end of 2008? Major freaking suckage.

2009? Year of F***ing Awesome. I have decreed it.

Thursday, January 01, 2009 2:49:00 AM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

Happy New Year, FADKOG!

Thursday, January 01, 2009 7:50:00 AM  
Blogger DKC said...

Happy New Year! I hope the six year olds didn't torture you too much, and the alcohol was plentiful!

Thursday, January 01, 2009 7:58:00 AM  
Blogger The Stiletto Mom said...

Happy New Year!!! I'm doing yoga again this year...we can cyber bitch about how much it hurts the next day.

xoxo....have a great 2009!

Thursday, January 01, 2009 8:23:00 AM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

happy new year wordy girl!
love you!

Thursday, January 01, 2009 8:45:00 AM  
Blogger blissfully caffeinated said...

Those are the best resolutions ever. I also have a plan to try yoga in 2009. We'll see how it plays out.

Happy New Year!


Thursday, January 01, 2009 1:17:00 PM  
Blogger musingwoman said...

Oh, man, I love U2. The first real rock concert I ever went to was to hear them.

Happy New Year!

Thursday, January 01, 2009 4:34:00 PM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

"I'm writing from the grave..." that was classic. CLASSIC!!!

Thursday, January 01, 2009 5:31:00 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

I didn't do resolutions, either. I did a list of revolutions instead.

Here's hoping 2009 is totally awesome for you and your family!

Thursday, January 01, 2009 7:18:00 PM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

BOOBS! are the tits. . .

Happy New Year, luv!

Thursday, January 01, 2009 7:26:00 PM  
Blogger FTN said...


coming in 2009.

Hope the yoga went well. Please don't break and/or dislocate anything.

Friday, January 02, 2009 8:53:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy New Year and all that jazz!

Friday, January 02, 2009 10:44:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

I live in a small underground stripclub... of course I have multiple cocktails available for ya....

Friday, January 02, 2009 2:56:00 PM  
Blogger Zip n Tizzy said...

My resolution is to get rid of the yoga tapes since the VCR doesn't work any more, and who am I kidding, I never used them anyway.
Happy New Year, and Boobs to you too!!!

Friday, January 02, 2009 5:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I also wanted to maintain some kind of kick-ass-ability, but the way things are going, I'm just gonna end up with hillbilly-ability. If you know what I mean.

Here's to a great 2009!

Friday, January 02, 2009 5:30:00 PM  
Blogger Biscuit said...

Happy New Year girlie! Trust me, you lack not at all in the kick ass-ability! And, may I say that I truly *heart* you for saying the things I am afraid to admit. First, you confess to a distaste for all things crafty, THEN you denounce family togetherness. I would totally hug you if I were there.

Friday, January 02, 2009 6:42:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

omg Dick Clark is so sad now it breaks my heart to watch him but I do it anyway.
Here's to another year of your funny stories!

Friday, January 02, 2009 10:32:00 PM  
Blogger Lollie said...

No cocktail, but I do, however, have a fabulous Margarita Cake!

Saturday, January 03, 2009 7:56:00 PM  
Blogger patty said...

I'm glad I found you in '08. Happy 2009, full of promise and boobs.

Sunday, January 04, 2009 9:12:00 AM  
Blogger Kevin McKeever said...

Boobs to you, my kick-ass Internet GF.

Sunday, January 04, 2009 2:18:00 PM  

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