Dear Sex,
Hi! It's been awhile. Remember me?
No, not you, Sex as a noun. I'm talking to your more interesting partner over there, Sex as a verb. Yeah! Hi! So, do you remember me? God, we used to have some f-u-n together, didn't we?
So, I was wondering...since we had a lot of fun...um....where you been lately? Just wondering. No pressure. It's just that, well, there was just an anniversary here not that long ago, and well, you know. It just seems kinda, oh, logical that you'd maybe pop in for a bit on something like an anniversary. Maybe, yeah? There's gotta be like a five-day window, don't you think? And I know I just said there was no pressure, but my birthday's coming up in a a few weeks, and, yeah, I don't want to make a big deal about it or anything, but it's kind of a landmark one, if you get my point, so it might be fun if you could stop by that day. Maybe a few times.
Anyway, I'll keep this short, Sex, though I don't want you thinking that if you happen to come around that you have to keep it short! Ha! Oh, you know me, Sex. I'm a kidder! Ha!
I'll look forward to hearing from you, and I promise that I'll make it worth your while if you get the chance to visit. I will definitely make brownies!
Hope to have you soon!!
Love,
me
Labels: sometimes you think you're gonna get it but you don't and that's just the way it goes
posted by for a different kind of girl @ 8:00 AM
18 Comments:
If it shows up and afterwards, looks like it's lost its itinerary, please send it to my house. I can provide soft drinks.
(sigh) No anniversary sex?
(shedding a tear on your behalf)
We didn't have our traditional-of-recent-vintage Naked Marathon this year; more like the 'end-of-the-day, OK-now-we-can-do-it' variety. But, um, we never miss an anniversary.
Well, except for those very occasional visits from Molly's aunt. Or the time she'd just had 5M a couple weeks before. Or the years (6 or 8, maybe?) I was away at summer camp over our anni. So, yeah. . . life happens, doesn't it?
And, um, my 'word verification' is fkjcyn. Not that that's suggestive of anything, or anything. . .
Sex. It's what's for dinner.
Writing a letter to Sex . . . Isn't that like writing to Santa? And remember Mrs. Claus, how bad she's got it? Yeah, Santas got snowballs and only comes once a year. (Really bad, I know)
Btw, my b-day is in a couple of weeks also. Actually, a week from Sunday. I'll be 22.5 yrs old (for the second time).
Sorry you didn't get sex on the actual day, but perhaps sex is responsive to letters- especially if you're making brownies, yum
Yeah, good luck with that. I've found sex to be one fickle fellow...
If you make me brownies I'll either:
a) come sex you up myself cause I'm a good friend like that or
b) I'll send Jamie to sex you up seeings how I'm not giving it up enough.
Whhaa?
Forget it. He doesn't need brownies-he's on a "health" kick at the moment. Fuck that, not me...gimme brownies and I'll brush your hair and tell you how wonderful you are.
No sex on your anniversary? Aren't there laws against such a thing?
And I apologize, but maybe we've been hogging the sex lately. Maybe I'll send him your way this weekend.
Well, last year we had to forgo the Sex for a snuggle since the Chemo took over my body and all. But this Nov 30th? Look the hell out cause there will be double (or maybe triple) the Sex all around this place to make up for it. As for you? Just flaunt the kick-ass rack a little more. That's got to work. No?
Oh, and FTN - you made me snort my water thru my nose. Thanks for that! Your day is done now.
So uhh.........your making brownies?
Tell you what if your not getting "The Sex" you can always come over to my place and get the recipe for Better Than Sex Cake. It's not the same but it just might satisfy you. :D
CH
gee, I hope your hubby reads your blog.
When you're done with it, could you send it over my way? I'm looooooooooooong overdue.
Um...wait...
maybe that didn't come out right..
I uh...well...I uh..
oh hell!
Hopefully you know what I mean.
Stacie
It's the Cute and Fuzzy Bunnies I tell ya.... and other bizarre and obscur John Cusack movie references from the 80s....
I'd offer but it's such a drive....
I lust you much....
Story of my life.
I've got extras up in this place baby! I'll send them your way. (What can I say, it was on special at Adam and Eve's)
And then, I'll take some brownies please! Please! Please!
Sexy babys sexy babys sexy body sexy body keeps me guessing with a promise...I know we can come together, but the question is will we ever ever?
womdjvulvbtdntsa
Taja - My hope is to leave the sex so parched it will rush to your place after. It'll be hopped up on a sugar high, so take advantage of it quick!
Desmond - Well, to be fair, the husband was out of state on the actual anniversary. And three days later. But when he came home, hello? I'm waiting! He had to dash out the door again. Let's say the word verification is the most action I've gotten.
FTN - I'd settle for a tasty snack. Or as a delicious sandwich. God, I do love a good sandwich.
Phyllis - Sigh. It better happen before I have to think about Santa.
Happy early birtday to you!
Sailor - My brownies are top notch, so sex would be a fool to pass them up.
Sue - What I don't get is why Sex would be fickle about something that could end up being rock star good. Silliness, really.
Kimmy - I don't know how well I'd do at the lesbian thing. And I'd feel bad if, you know, you sent Jaime and I grew attached to him. But then I read that you'd brush my hair, and damn. If you could toss in some braiding, too, oh my! Tell me how wonderful I am, too? I'll make you brownies, baby. Get over here!
Chag - All I need is like an hour. Maybe two. When I do get the sex, it sometimes likes to put on a show.
Terry - If there is some type of natural disaster or whatnot on Nov. 30, and news analysts and government officials are stumped as to the cause, I'll be at home, sitting on my couch, nodding my head and saying knowingly, "It's Terry..."
CH - Ah, that cake has been a trusty friend. Not like battery operated trusty, but trusty!
lainey-paney - Thanks for visiting. I think he read it thru osmosis. Kind of. At least to his benefit. Further research is necessary.
Stacie - Um, when I get it, I'm gonna hold onto it for awhile. Maybe Kimmy will stop by and brush your hair, though?
Savage - If you truly lusted me, the idea of a drive would be secondary, mister!
Bunny - Hopefully it's not a multi-volume book set.
Nan - Oh, I'll make you brownies, baby! You just gotta trust me. I'm trustworthy. Moreso than some. Hell yeah!
tllmiuknedths
i got a visit from SEX last night. okAYYYYYE!
you da mom! - My letter to sex must have gotten lost in the mail. Or I bet it got delivered to it's neighbor, Sleep, because there's more of that happening here than Sex.
But I'm happy for you!!
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