...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Friday, October 19, 2007

'she likes to wake up and just fake it'

I'm a firm believer that if you're going to invest your time and talents in something, you shouldn't fake it. I don't fake the sincerity, the appreciation or the sex (The real sex. If you have a 'to do' list and are tied up on the phone or whatever and the sex comes up, proceed with cleaning off your desk or breezing through your TiVO. The other party is oblivious, and you've knocked a few things off).

It's just that simple. However, I do, indeed, fake the
frappaccino and the food. Unless it's macaroni and cheese, and no matter how I try to spin it, I just can't fake that Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Kids know. They just do. They have a crap food bullshit detector and they will bust it on me every time I try to pull off that store brand M & C with them.

But the cereal? Not so much. Trust me. When I brought home the real Lucky Charms, you'd have thought I brought them each 12 puppies and a stable of horses. I was like a god in their eyes. I don't doubt for a moment that my oldest son offered to go out to the mini to help carry in the rest of the groceries because he actually wanted to check to see if perhaps his real mom was tied up in the backseat and this was a fake mom plying them with real goodness.

You know what I love about this Lucky Charms knock off? It doesn't pull any punches. It knows that all we really care about are those dehydrated pieces of marshmallow. It's all about the marshmallow, matey! Hey! What a great name for a fake cereal! And let's give them twice as much to go through twice as fast! Woo Hoo! I'm off to have some now. I can't fake it. I love these damn things.


I know, of course, that this is the type of 'edge of your seat' update you want from me. Other updates - may have good things brewing in that awful life thing my friends interceded on last week, and there was sort of some sex this morning. Sort of. I'm not jumping up and saying "woo hoo!" about it like I am my fake breakfast cereal, but eh, it beats faking it.

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20 Comments:

Blogger Stacie said...

oh those dang dehydrated marshmellows! Love those things. LOVE them~!

Glad you hear there was sort of some sex this morning over your way....
Stacie

Friday, October 19, 2007 9:05:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

From Lucky Charms to Marshmallow Mateys?

Are there such thing as Irish pirates?

"Avast, me hearties! I'll plunder that bootie if my name isn't Seamus 'Hook' O'Connell!"

Friday, October 19, 2007 9:12:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

And hold the phone... Who on earth is having this pre-8 AM sex?!??

Friday, October 19, 2007 9:13:00 AM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Have you tried buying the knock-off cereal and then transferring it to the Lucky Charms box? Do you think they'd fall for it?

Friday, October 19, 2007 9:14:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Mmmmmm. . . I love the pre-8AM sex. . .

Friday, October 19, 2007 9:30:00 AM  
Blogger Confused Husband said...

Let's here it for pre-8 AM sex!! WOOHOO! It must be both of our lucky days!

Way to fake it too. You know that is my favorite song presently. Something catchy about it.

And to answer FTN if it isn't pre-8 AM sex around here it just isn't happening.
CH

Friday, October 19, 2007 9:36:00 AM  
Blogger Mandy Lou said...

I think the only people who jump up shout "woo-hoo" about morning sex are guys. My hubby acts like he won the lotto when he gets any pre-8 AM.

Friday, October 19, 2007 10:14:00 AM  
Blogger Recovering Soul said...

okay, let's talk about the pre 8am thing for a moment. Because, I have to say, my wife is most accomodating when I am awake enough before work to initiate this.

Are all you women against this? Is my wife faking this enthusiasm?

I need to make a phone call...

Friday, October 19, 2007 10:41:00 AM  
Blogger Sailor said...

Love the pre-8 am sex; had some just yesterday, as a matter of fact, and it was grand.

As for Matey's, well, our kids are like yours; if the "real thing" comes home, the question is "What did you do with our mom?"

Friday, October 19, 2007 11:17:00 AM  
Blogger Therese in Heaven said...

Well, RS actually did make that phone call, and no, I don't fake enjoying it. Although its not so much pre-8 am sex as it is pre-6 am sex. By 8, he's been at work for two hours already.

I'm not my most responsive at that time of day for sure, and wouldn't want that to be the only thing "on the menu," or the only "happy hour" or "special of the day" (how many restaurant references can I make here?), but if he's willing to do it then, I'm happy to oblige.

Friday, October 19, 2007 1:45:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

I love how y'all jump on that tiny little reference to the morning sex there in the very tail end of this post. LOVE IT!!

Because I love it so much, let me clarify. I say 'woo hoo' to any kind of sex, at any time of the day. I even say 'woo hoo!' to talking about sex, not just having it. Woo Hoo! So sex could happen at any time of the day and I'd be happy, happy. This particular sex that I mentioned happened in the morning, and, well, since I constitute anything that happens after midnight as morning, I gots me the sex at around the midnight hour. And it was fine sex. I just didn't get my woo hoo moment from it. Thus, sigh, my letter to Sex still stands.

Stacie - Were it acceptable, my diet might consist of Marshmallow Mateys and aerosole whipped cream. And mallowcreme. Damn, I do love a mallowcreme candy pumpkin.

FTN - I'm a night owl, mister. What some might call a night lovah. I will get inspired for the sex at around 3 a.m. if someone rolls over and bumps into me in bed. Hold the phone right there.

Kelly - The boys get so insane when I bring home real cereal that they, honestly, destroy the box in an attempt to get to it as rapidly as possible, thus leaving me with now decoy. They'll gladly do the fake stuff, too, but apparently the 'real deal' is truly magically delicious.

Desmond - The sex at any point, except if one party is quite ill, is not to shabby any time.

CH - Were it truly my lucky day, I'd be hella rich right now, taking my kids to Disney and having my say in the sex department. Alas, it was only marginally lucky here. I'm poor. Poor by happy.

And which song is your favorite? I think I've alluded to about three in the past two days, so I'm curious.

Mandy - These days I shout "woo hoo?" just to hear if it echoes. There needs to be some more research in this area before I'm totally shouting it for the joy factor.

RS - Perhaps not all. I am certainly not. I mean, I do dig my sleep. Don't get me wrong, but morning sex is stellar, so if the parties are willing, no complaints!

Sailor - I once nearly convinced my oldest son that his real mom was actually living on an island of Amazon women and that I, Wonder Woman, would be taking her place for a time while she completed her training. He so very nearly bought it. For the entire night, he looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

Therese - Ha! It charms me that RS actually made that phone call, as do your restaurant references. I'm pleased to hear you don't stand for that being the only thing on the ala carte menu.

Friday, October 19, 2007 3:45:00 PM  
Blogger Confused Husband said...

My favorite song as of late is 'Fake it' By Seether.

Mandy Lou, I'm more like Miss Kick Ass Rack here. Anytime SR and I have sex is a WOOHOO! moment. This morning was just more WOOHOO for me because it was two mornings in a row between 5AM & 6AM. :D Unfortunately Summer was in the same boat as FADKOG this morning. :( There's always tonight though for me to make it up to her.
CH

Friday, October 19, 2007 4:44:00 PM  
Blogger Therese in Heaven said...

Referring to what you said to CH, I didn't realize Disney had a sex department. If I had, our trip there a year ago would've been quite different! :)

Friday, October 19, 2007 9:51:00 PM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Is it just me, or does Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice baby sound like a bit of a rip off from Queen's Under Pressure. Bum bum bum duhduh duh duh. Oh, yes, here I am--I'm not multitasking.

Someone once said to me "fake it til you make it." I wonder who that wise woman was? Hmmmmm.

icntblvitzntbttr

Saturday, October 20, 2007 2:19:00 AM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

i love the marshmallows. half the time i just keep an old box of the original and then put the generic in that box. that way we both win-me saving money and them thinking they get the good stuff. win win situation right there.

Saturday, October 20, 2007 6:53:00 PM  
Blogger Digger Jones said...

Thank God for the Marshmallow Mateys, because The Sex has been much more rarer than a tropical storm here in Georgia.

Y'all don't know the meaning of "drought."

I've tried writing to Sex, and the Pope and the President of several developing countries. The one from Nigeria said he might be able to work something out after I gave him my bank account number so he could deposit a large amount of money there for safe keeping. I'm still waiting for the money and the Sex.

At least I have Marshmallow Mateys, which aren't as good as brownies, but will have to do until the drought ends.

D.

Sunday, October 21, 2007 7:03:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

CH - Oh, my, that song could be the soundtrack to a couple experiences I've had the displeasure of going through this year. Nice choice.

Therese - I think if Disney had a sex department, it would have a line longer than that for Space Mountain. I'd hope it would have a 'fast pass' ticket.

kimmy - In the world of the poor in which I dwell, I'm all about saving the money. Though seriously, pot o' gold? I'm waiting! That'd be the real win-win!

Digger - True, we're not applying for government assistance or such to help with the short term dry spell, but if I keep eating these Marshmallow Mateys, I'm going to be too bloated to enjoy Sex when he pays a visit.

Sunday, October 21, 2007 11:52:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Nan - It's totally a rip off. No original ideas, I think, so he just took it straight outta the book. Something like that.

Hmmm. I wonder who that wise woman is. I wonder if I've ever met her. She can't be wise all the time, right?

Sunday, October 21, 2007 11:54:00 PM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Unfortunately we all make mistakes :(

Wednesday, October 24, 2007 12:59:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Nan - Gah! So many mistakes. Mistakes no more, though! I think the key is to never look down that deep, dark hole Alice.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007 8:02:00 AM  

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