...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

ironic & cruel (or vice versa)...

...the arrival of my new vibrator(s) and my period on the same day.

Labels:

58 Comments:

Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Ummmm. . . yeah. . . so sorry about that. . .

Aunt Ruby can be such a bitch, sometimes. . .

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 9:08:00 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

You know, Alanis actually had that line in her Ironic song but Sony made her remove. Can you just imagine her singing that?

"And isn't it ironic...don't you think?"

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 9:49:00 AM  
Blogger Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Maybe use them in the shower? (easier clean up!) Just trying to help!!

(atkins is making me slap happy!)

Hallie :)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 9:55:00 AM  
Blogger Phyllis Renée said...

See, now I've not had to worry about timing for almost 20 years. RL was just commenting the other day about how fortunate we've been not having to plan vacations, weekend getaways, and the arrival of special packages around that.

Take a long, hot shower. It'll make ya feel better. ;)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 10:00:00 AM  
Blogger cat said...

I am sure the vibrators will not care as much as say, a man. ;)

I can't believe I am even commenting on this post. I am too prudish to do things like this!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 10:04:00 AM  
Blogger Backpacking Dad said...

I hope this post gets the most comments evaaaaarrrr.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 10:12:00 AM  
Blogger Cocotte said...

That sucks! I just hope you got the quiet kind. The last one I bought I will not use as it sounds like I'm blending daiquiris in my bedroom.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 10:25:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

I am both offended AND disgusted. You are off my list of pure, virginal mommybloggers.

I'm still waiting for my deep muscle massage, by the way. You could always use the vibrators for that task in the meantime, since they aren't being used for other things. I hear they work wonders.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 10:49:00 AM  
Blogger Therese in Heaven said...

Are they entirely mutually exclusive?

I mean, RS and I still have sex during that time. I know a lot of couples don't because its "gross" but sexual stuff IS still possible...

And my most sincere apologies if that was disgusting and TMI.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 11:08:00 AM  
Blogger justlori2day said...

Back in the day before Cancer and all reproductive parts removed, I remember a heightened enjoyment on the non messy days. A shower sounds like bliss to me!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 11:20:00 AM  
Blogger Choppzs said...

I saw Aunt Ruby and was like "oh hell, I always called her Aunt Flo" lol

That's like on Hub's birthday I promised him "some fun" and instead he got some "Oh Hon, I'll do it for you next week!" lol

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 11:32:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Well, actually, my first thought was along the lines of Cat's and Therese's, but, um, yeah, I wasn't sure I wanted to go there. Not being terribly well-versed on the, uh, ins and outs of vibrator usage. . .

But, FTN - 'virginal mommybloggers'? I'd have thought that was pretty much an oxymoron. . . Well, yeah, OK, except for her. . .

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 11:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Pam said...

Two words: drop cloth. Or should that be one word? Or two dropcloths? You'll figure it out!
Oh! Do we get a product review??

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 11:58:00 AM  
Anonymous TwoBusy said...

(spitting diet coke all over my computer screen...)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 12:54:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Some things just aren't meant to be out there in the blogosphere, because now I can't get that out of my brain. The words are burned into my retinas. You want to be a "shock blogger" don't you? LMAO

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 1:03:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Des - Someone really needs to check her watch and maybe phone ahead and see if it's a good time, just outta curtesy!

Meg - I think I have a bootleg copy of that version buried somewhere with my cassettes!

WWoW - Try as I might, I just can't bring myself to trust their so called "waterproof" claims!

Phyllis - They did show up earlier than expected. The former, not the latter! When the mailman knocked on the door and I saw the Amazon box, I believe my exact words were, while fist shaking skyward, "CURSES!!!"

Cat - I'm so often left to pick up enough messes around here, I figure I'm going to do my best not to add to them! I felt a bit prudish just even admitting that...

BP Dad - I swear to God, if this post is cast in the shadow of Thousand Island salad dressing and me talking about how awesomely cool I am, I will unleash a reign of fury that will cripple the Internet!

Cocotte - One of the two trumpets itself as the "silent vibrator." Silent might be a bit of a brag, but it's not as loud as a bar during 2-for-1 well drink specials!

ftn - Thanks for coming through for me, Numby! One of my purchases appears to be powerful enough to beat off (so to speak) a pack of feral wolverines or pesky muskrats, so it might render you harmed in a deep muscle (heh) massage. Also, they should really key into this rabid animal aspect when marketing these items!

Therese - Ha! Based on my post, almost nothing is too disgusting or TMI here! And also, I'm a "been there, done that," person, too, but I figure these might have to wait a few days.

Lori - My next purchase may be a new shower head, which is dismaying to think I don't have one, considering Tool Man is in a major home improvement store every freakin' day!!

Choppzs - Tool Man is all "Woo! At least that'll be outta the way by my birthday on Saturday!"

Des - who's an oxymoron!?!

Pam - I'll have to consult my AP Stylebook on the proper use of dropcloth/drop cloth! They appear to pack a punch. I suppose if one leaves my hand numb, I should dial it down a bit when I actually can try it out!

Twobusy - (apologizing for any damage to corporate property and/or any projects currently on deadline...)

Heather - In the spirit of full honesty, I hovered over the 'post' option a couple minutes. Soon I wil regale the world with tales of how adorable my kids are and how hot I am for Tool Man, and we can forget this post ever existed...

...BUT NOT UNTIL THERE ARE ENOUGH COMMENTS TO RIVAL THE GREAT THOUSAND ISLAND POST OF JUNE 2008!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 1:37:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

ummmmm.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 1:43:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

uhhhhh...

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 1:47:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

Well, I'm just gonna say it!

The "apparatus" in question doesn't have to be inserted to emit the movements required by such an object, yes?

It can be used above ground?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 1:51:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

It makes me feel so special to know we’re there in our relationship where we can share such intimate details. Just don’t try to share the apparatus with anyone. (Anyone you are NOT married too.)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 1:53:00 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

LOL. Sorry, but it was funny to me.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 2:33:00 PM  
Blogger justlori2day said...

Bee, I was coming back to post that same thing - but you put it better than I would have... "above ground" sums it up.

If they appear to pack a punch I would say "screw you ruby, I am trying this sucker out post haste", just make sure the kids are napping, and the doors are locked and padded! Seriously tho, if they are great, dont give a review, just a link to the product shopping cart! :)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 3:05:00 PM  
Blogger Sailor said...

Umm, we're supposed to stop playing then? oops.

Besides, I've always read/heard that an orgasm or two is good for the cramps, etc, etc- so go for it.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 3:31:00 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

This post would get more traffic if you included photos (or at least links) of the products in question... I'm just sayin'

;-)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 4:11:00 PM  
Blogger Zip n Tizzy said...

Something to look forward to...
And which one's are they? We all want to know.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 5:05:00 PM  
Blogger Always Home and Uncool said...

How are guys like me supposed to complete with posts like this, let alone your toys?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 5:53:00 PM  
Blogger MadWoman said...

**choke** I just about peed my pants dude!

What a cruel twist of fate, though I have to agree with some of our other friends here and recommend the shower or the above ground play. There's really no need to go sperlunking in the cave today is there?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 6:16:00 PM  
Blogger Alice said...

HAHAHAHAAA.....

Lord I wish my parents didn't read my blog.

Am I allowed to ask what you got?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 7:41:00 PM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

and the hits just keep on comin'.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 7:44:00 PM  
Blogger 1blueshi1 said...

c'mon, Rack, I mean, Mane, don't tell me you live as though the two are mutually exclusive???
Because I'm afraid I just don't understand that whole concept...tell you what. since I am on the rag, too, I'll just go ahead and try those babies (or rabid wolverines, as the case may be) out for ya and let you know, 'k?
please don't pee on yourself from laughing so hard!
although, if you do, we can work THAT into the scenario as well, bwahahahaha

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 7:59:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

Alice, I said the same thing to her! Only you know, not my parents but hubs mom and my brother/sisters.

Do you use rechargeable batteries??

You don't to make the bunny rich do you?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 10:05:00 PM  
Blogger April said...

Oh wow. There just isn't a Hallmark card for moments like these. Uuummmm . . . get well soon??

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 10:17:00 PM  
Blogger Bunny said...

I hate it when that happens

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 7:00:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Bee - Ummm. Yeah. Uh. Yeah. These are dual action items. But yeah, I think I'm bound to wait. (you slay me, Bee. SLAY me!)

Mike - A funny, albeit cruel twist of fate!

Lori - That option has been contemplated, as they are currently stationed on my nightstand, like tasteful little sculptures. If these don't leave up to their built up (or pent up?!) anticipation, I'll go crazy (or crazier than I presently am as I wait, wait, wait!).

Sailor - I've had playdates at such times, but I think I'm gonna keep these things pristine!

Michael - Ha! I considered that, and yet today, I wake up and find two emails asking for a sex toy link exchange, so perhaps my plan worked!

zip n tizzy - It's the looking forward to aspect that's getting me through these tough days!

Always Home - There's no replacing a guy like you!

Madwoman - Um, yeah, so yeah, there's been some exploration, but no spelunking...

Alice - It's this kind of thing that keeps me from saying any word that even starts with "b" with my Mom!

kimmy - Ha! Or something like that!

1blueshi1 - Our cycles are in synch?! This is just like the time I lived with five other girls while in college and the house was a screaming pit of PMS angst. How sorry I still feel for the one dude who lived with us then, too!

Bee - I quite possibly deserve to be on the board of directors at Duracell. Those things EAT batteries. EAT THEM!

April - Oh, but there should be a line of greeting cards for this. Seriously! I think there's a market for that idea!

Bunny - Word.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 9:24:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

There is way too much menstrual discussion going on in this comment box.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 2:08:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

ftn - The amount of menstrual discussion has given me sympathy cramps. Run to the store and buy me a box of Tampax, would ya?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 2:54:00 PM  
Blogger Choppzs said...

How many comments were on the "Great Thousand Island" post? Why don't I remember it??

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 6:59:00 PM  
Blogger Choppzs said...

Ok, went to your archives and found it. And YES, I did read it!lol I remembered it as soon as I saw the pic.

Plus, I'm just writing again to give you an up on those 45 comments. lol

Does repeat commenters count??

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 7:02:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Choppzs - I think there were 45...

Choppzs - Ha! Yes! Yes, there were 45! Repeat commenters totally count. Woo hoo! It's why I gave you two notations in the comment responses!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 8:14:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 9:09:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...



I'm trying to do the girl symbol but blogger is not cooperating!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 9:13:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

OH YAY!! IT WORKED!!

So um,

♀ ♂

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 9:14:00 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

OK. Now I know what I should blog about instead of beer.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 10:06:00 PM  
Blogger Therese in Heaven said...

FTN doesn't buy tampax. He buys Always.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 10:22:00 PM  
Blogger Melody said...

Wow - I'm pretty sure I don't have anything to add to this discussion that hasn't already been said...

Thursday, July 17, 2008 8:18:00 AM  
Blogger Melody said...

Oh - and uh, I link to you, telling everyone how terrific you are, and you really go and pull out the big guns, don't ya?

Oh wait, that totally didn't sound right. I mean, uh... never mind.

Still think your terrific. I bow to the greatness of this post.

Thursday, July 17, 2008 8:20:00 AM  
Blogger Melody said...

Oooh - just pushed the comment count over 45, do I win a prize?


;-)

Thursday, July 17, 2008 8:21:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Bee - I like men...

Bee - ...and women are nice.

Bee - but, um, yeah?

Meg - These go even better with beer. The two topics could blow up the Internet!

Therese - Either one, I do need to stock up my supplies. I'll even toss him a coupon!

Melody - Having only got to look at these things for a few days, I can't add anything to the discussion (yet!), either!

Melody - There was a part of me who felt a bit of shame in doing this, I must admit! But thanks for the bow! I'll be back to normal, whatever that is, soon!

Melody - I'll have to see what's in the prize bag! :)

Thursday, July 17, 2008 9:23:00 AM  
Anonymous M said...

We had a situation recently where the vibrator arrived just in time for a missed period. It didn't really prevent us from using it, but I like juxtaposition. And don't think we weren't juxtapositioning that night!

Thursday, July 17, 2008 5:47:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

Nice round 50.

Thursday, July 17, 2008 8:21:00 PM  
Blogger That girl from Shallotte said...

Holy crap! We've synced up like roommates or co-workers do! Only reason I'm just now commenting is that I've been Crampy McSensitive all week. Do, please provide a consumer review when you get a chance. ;D

Saturday, July 19, 2008 8:44:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

M - Juxtaposition is one of my favorites

Bee - Thanks for hooking a girl up with the 50!

That Girl from.... - I would totally share my Midol with you!

Monday, July 21, 2008 11:17:00 AM  
Blogger Stacie said...

I thank my lucky stars every day for my hysterectomy!

I'm just sayin'
Stacie

Monday, July 21, 2008 11:27:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Stacie - I believe this was the universe's way of teaching me patience!

Monday, July 21, 2008 1:36:00 PM  
Blogger justlori2day said...

Stacy I am with ya! So Fad, is it time yet? Shopping cart lady! Im sitting here with another f-in kidney stent so I need to hear that when my woohoo isnt occupied by a tube that I have something to look forward to!

Monday, July 21, 2008 8:42:00 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

Did I happen to mention that I'm impressed?

(They gave out no vibrators at BlogHer this year. SO disappointing.)

Monday, July 21, 2008 11:23:00 PM  
Blogger Backpacking Dad said...

actually, they did give out vibrators at BlogHer. Someone was passing them out at Macy's in the shoe department on Saturday.

Monday, July 21, 2008 11:26:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Lori - Sources close to the items say they're not too shabby...

Weirdgirl - Taking this moment to confess to the world and/or the people of the world and Ohio who come here to read this blog:

Totally and completely 'heart' you for picking up the Violent Femmes thing and running with it! Among other things, of course, but cool, yo!

BP Dad - You know my position on this, but I need to say it again.

DAMMIT!!!
DAMMIT!!!
DAMMIT!!!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008 1:12:00 PM  

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