he will sing, sing a new song (at least i hope)

I've mentioned several times here that my youngest son is a huge fan of music. If he's not entertaining me with elaborate tales and horrible jokes, he's belting out the songs that fill his heart. His set list remains heavy with music from the Black Eyed Peas and Beyonce, but over the last several days, he's been fine tuning some new material. If I need to find him, all I have to do is keep my ears open for the chorus of Lady Gaga's song Telephone, which is his latest favorite. He's left his head and his heart on the dance floor.

And on the swings.

And over there near his Fisher Price Bat Cave.

And in the bathroom when he should have been brushing his teeth.

While we were at the YMCA this afternoon, he made a mad dash for the Beatles Rock Band set up that's new there and commanded the mic like he'd just stepped out of Abbey Road studios and was singing I Feel Fine to an audience of screaming girls. He is the walrus, goo goo goo joob.

I adore the fact he loves the classics. The complete Beatles catalog. We Are The Champions. Mr. Roboto. U Can't Touch This. Baby Got Back. That's just a few of the all the timeless melodies that come together in this one little 8 year old hits package that will have you calling out "Encore!"

But wait! There's more!

After we left the YMCA, we had to run a few errands. While on our way home from our last stop, I heard him humming a delightful, and somewhat familiar melody from the backseat. Before long, I found myself humming along, trying to determine the song we were now dueting on. Two seconds before it came to me, my little maestro blurted out the chorus:

"I jizz in my pants."

Gah! Dear Lord. I was OK with the whole "Oh, my god, Becky, look at her butt..." business because he never got as far as singing about how things get sprung. But this?! Where did he even hear this song in the first place to even perform it so perfectly?! I'm asking as the mother who once accidentally forgot her son, then a wee preschooler, was a captive audience in the back of the mini while I sang along powerfully and with incredibly pitchy feeling to NIN's Closer...while we were in the parent pick-up line...at the elementary school...oh, yes, I did. Did I mention the windows were all rolled down, too? No? They were.

As soon as he blurted out that delightful little ditty, I brought the curtain down on my little lizard king. Is that a giant hook coming from stage left to yank you from the spotlight? Why, yes, I believe it is!

"Oh, honey, hmmm..." I stammered. "I think that's a song you just shouldn't sing publicly."

Jizz in my pants? No. No, no, no, I scream in my head (with a chorus of thousands backing me up). Happily, and without a great deal of questions (although there were a couple of "Why, Mom?" queries tossed in), my little performer took a bow.

Goodnight, Cleveland. You were a great audience.

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p.s. - Friends...oh, friends. I can't end this without saying thank you a hundred times over for your comments, emails, and DMs in response to my last post. You all gave me a different way to view courage, and I must admit that some of you made me cry a little, some of you made me laugh a lot, and all of you made me think, which is why I just sat silently for days after writing that post. I just needed to think. Please know I am going to make a call to my doctor and I am going to do it soon. This week. I promise. I think that beyond the lump, there's some other things I truly must talk to her about because when I break things down these days, I am not a happy person. It's exhausting some days to know that at the end of the day, the reason I'm so exhausted is because I've spent the bulk of the hours trying so hard to BE happy...or at least trying to convince people I am.

I just need you to know that the kindness and thought given to me by all of you - some of you I've not yet had the chance to 'get to know' yet - via this bizarre Internet thing is appreciated. I feel like I want to go all Pink Ladies during our senior year at Rydell High with all of you. We're going to rule this school!

Just know that I get to be Rizzo.