...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Friday, May 16, 2008

case study no: heh...well...yeah....

I suppose there's something Freudian to be said for the fact that both the Subway five dollar footlong commercial and the Viva Viagra spot push me to the brink of insanity.

(btw, first dude who sings in the Viagra spot. Got you a wha? Enunciate! And you. The guy on standing bass. Did you call yourself a horny toad? My irritation prevents me from hearing you clearly)

Anyway, I'll give that hyposthesis a better shake tonight when I'm out eating hot dogs and sucking down longneck bottles of beer.

Have a happy weekend, people who live inside my computer!

P.S. If ever a website demanded the use of multiple exclamation points, it's the Viagra website. For example:

Before: Bet you didn't think you could have fun while learning about ED.

Yawn. Wha? Did you say something?

After: Bet you didn't think you could have fun while learning about ED!!!!! Oh yeah!!!!!! Watch me again, baby!!!!!!! I'm bustin' out a few more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What's that? Oh, just my pet snake. I laugh in your face, erectile dysfuntion!!

See? That's better. That's what I'm talkin' about. Editing, my friends. It's a good thing.



Blogger FTN said...

I don't know about ED, but I am the global spokesperson for priapism.

Friday, May 16, 2008 1:15:00 PM  
Blogger Eternal Sunshine said...

I'm with you on those commercials - ESPECIALLY the viagra one - Whenever I hear it, it makes me want to scream, or leave the room... or plug my ears with molten lava...

Have a great weekend...

Friday, May 16, 2008 1:16:00 PM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Yeah, I know. 'Course, the Viagra ad sorta puts over the message that it's only good-ole-boys that gots to worry 'bout the whole ED thing. And I am most definitely rock-n-roll. . .

Now, the thing I've always wanted to know about is in the other ED ads (I forget if it's Cialis or Levitra), where the couple are sittin' in the side-by-side bathtubs in their backyard, romantically watching the sun set. I mean, do people really put his-n-hers bathtubs in their backyards?

And my teenage sons always look at me smirkingly, asking what exactly would be the problem with an erection that lasts for longer than four hours. . .

Friday, May 16, 2008 1:48:00 PM  
Blogger Bunny said...

Pfizer should totally hire you to re-do their website.

Friday, May 16, 2008 1:57:00 PM  
Blogger DeeDee said...

Would you think less of me if I admitted to singing along and knowing every single word to this part:

So you say you wanted money, but you know it’s never funny
When your shoes worn through and there’s a rumble in your tummy
But you had to have style, get a gold tooth smile
Put a girl on the corner so you could make a pile
Committed a crime and went inside
It was comin’ your way but you had to survive
When you lost your pay you lost the race
Now you’re lookin’ at me to take her place

Have a great weekend. Just know I'mma be singing that damn song all weekend now thanks to you!

Friday, May 16, 2008 3:44:00 PM  
Blogger 1blueshi1 said...

I am doing the Robot now. From inside your computer, of course.

Friday, May 16, 2008 9:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

those commercials make me cringe. escpecially the one where the older couple is about to get it on and their kids and grandkids pop over for an unexpected visit. and dude's all, it's cool, the bottle says this pill could last for daaaays, baby. i'll get rid of'em fast and then boing!

anyways, hope you have a great week, my favorite different kinda gal!

Saturday, May 17, 2008 7:39:00 AM  
Blogger Biscuit said...

That Viva Viagra commercial makes me cringe and want to hit someone at the same time.

You selling tickets to watch you suck on longnecks? Just askin'...

Saturday, May 17, 2008 10:16:00 AM  
Blogger Bee said...

The limp dick commercial upsets me more than the subway one. Why? You ask, because then the stupid song is in my head and I'm caught singing it at odd times! People must think Andy and I are at it like rabbits!

Saturday, May 17, 2008 10:01:00 PM  
Blogger Therese in Heaven said...

I haven't seen the viagra commercial, but what's wrong with a foot long?

Sunday, May 18, 2008 1:59:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

ftn - I appreciate the fact you're willing to share the story of your painfully erect penis with the world. I say stand tall, poke out, and speak free. Then maybe see a doctor, eh?

Melody - I dash away or turn away as quickly as possible, but that first hint of the commercial usually sinks into my brain faster!

Des - The first time I saw that couple, holding hands across their respective outdoor bathtubs with no obvious means of plumbing, all while overlooking the sun setting over the mountain range, I looked to the Tool Man and asked him to hook me up with one of those post haste!

Even though, admittedly, it does drive me crazy when I see that very part of that commercial!

Bunny - If the pay is good, I'm willing to work for anyone, doing anything! I have exclamation marks to spare!!!!

deedee - Oh, on the contrary! It would make me totally dig you and ask if you wanted to hang out, and wear padded bras, suck beer through straws...

1blueshi1 - I thought that was you tapping on the screen from the inside of my computer!

katie - Amen, girl. Amen. Horny parents should keep their plans under wraps and break out the snacks instead!

biscuit - Now, when you say "...want to hit someone at the same time," do you mean you want to strike someone or, you know, "hit" someone? Because, you know, maybe call your local Ticketmaster outlet...ha!

Bee - You know why else you can't stand those limp dick commercials more than the Subway one, Bee? Because I can't sing one back and infiltrate your brain like I can by doing this:

"five...five...five dolla foot long..."

There you go!

Therese - I've enjoyed the occasional foot long. It seems like a lot in the beginning, but it ends up being worth it in the end.

wait. um...

...something like that.

Monday, May 19, 2008 12:02:00 AM  
Blogger Bogart said...

I had a friend ask me about a little blue pill...I was very confused. I mean, we were talking about not being able to sleep and he is asking about Viagra? Oh wait, he meant ambien...

Talk about two different drugs!

Monday, May 19, 2008 8:41:00 AM  

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