...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Friday, April 25, 2008

you drive me crazy...i just can't sleep...

So the news today says economic stimulus checks will be mailed out next week, a few days earlier than originally planned.

Right now I'm torn between using it to pay off our crippling credit card debt or using it as a pay out to the one who takes out the person or persons responsible for Subway's five dollar foot long jingle. I'm completely off Subway (which I don't eat anyway) until this thing goes away.

When that job's done, the next assignment will be to off the Steak-umms jingle writer(s). Though, to be honest, I have to imagine that were I responsible for a commercial that pimps a product no one I've ever known has eaten with the song, "You can Steak-um in the North, you can Steak-umm in the South, but the best part about 'em is when you Steak-umm in your mouth," I would giggle maniacally and hit the person seated near me on the shoulder and ask if they heard that, and maybe rewind the Tivo so it played again.

And maybe again.

While I decide whether to get Discover Card off my ass or go into a life of crime, I'll just be happy that, for now, my kids haven't heard the Steak-umms commercial yet (I've only rewound it for the Tool Man, and given him the eyebrow wiggle), so there's been no dance worked up for it. Such is not the case with the Subway tune.

But trust that I've totally dusted the Subway song with a dose of double entendre and rewound it for my husband, too.

In other news, I believe I'd like to be Kelly Ripa.

And I would like to have a small fan attached to me so my hair blows around my face constantly.

That's about it.

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20 Comments:

Blogger Michael said...

I was just thinking about Steak-umms yesterday... strange. I haven't heard a commercial or jingle for years. I was wondering if they still existed! I guess they do...

Friday, April 25, 2008 10:04:00 AM  
Blogger XI Summit said...

You'd give up the KAR to be KR? How is that possible?

Friday, April 25, 2008 10:54:00 AM  
Blogger Therese in Heaven said...

Yeah, RS does the double entendre thing with the Subway jingle too. You can make anything sound naughty with the right inflection and gestures.

Friday, April 25, 2008 11:02:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

(shaking head slowly)

And of course the jingle-writer-guys (and you just know for sure that they're guys, don't you?) are blissfully innocent of any double-E possibilities, aren't they?

Oh, and I still don't quite fully believe that the stimulus check (heh-heh-heh) is in the mail. . . Between Molly and me and five dependent children, ours would be fairly sizable. . . (heh-heh-heh; he said 'sizable')

Friday, April 25, 2008 11:12:00 AM  
Blogger Cocotte said...

I've never had a steak-umm and I think I've only been to Subway once. I tend to just stick with stuff I know I already like. I'm boring that way.

Yeah, it would be nice to be blonde and perky like Kelly Ripa. And her husband is hott too.

As far as the stimulus check goes, just remember that those who pay the most taxes will receive nothing back. But I don't want to turn this into my usual anti-government rant, so have a good weekend everyone!

Friday, April 25, 2008 11:19:00 AM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

never ate a steak-ums before. not so sure i wanna now.

subway? i'm so over subway and jared.


now, why ya wanna go and be kelly ripa???

i'm payin' off my credit card with my mad cash. next week huh? thank you baby jesus!

Friday, April 25, 2008 5:17:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

FADKOG!! I AM SO UPSET WITH YOU!!

I had no idea what song you were talking about until this post. Now I've seen the commercial One Gazzillion Times and I can't get it out of my head!

Now I want corn.

Friday, April 25, 2008 9:39:00 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

I've never heard that commercial, but my kid picked up a box of steak umms at the commissary the other day. That stuff makes me sick..every time they cook it, it makes the whole house smell like wet dog! BLECH! Who wants to eat something that smells like wet dog? I don't get it.
Stacie

Saturday, April 26, 2008 8:23:00 AM  
Blogger Sailor said...

I don't think I've ever had a steak-ummm, and if Stacie is right about the wet-dog thing, I'll pass.

I can also say I'm unfamiliar with the latest subway song, too, although I do eat there occasionally.

Where do I send the fan?

Saturday, April 26, 2008 8:32:00 AM  
Blogger justlori2day said...

I used to always jest when having a hot roast beef at a franchise that they must have found some "steakumm" in the back of the fridge. I thought it went away in the 80's like bad hair and pinned pants. Only, like strawberry shortcake, the smurfs, and gumby, another nasty reminder of my younger years has found its way back into this sad little place we call America.

I will share my stimulus (come on, doesnt that word make you a little giggly?) if we can add "head on" to the list of hits!

Sunday, April 27, 2008 10:27:00 AM  
Blogger 1blueshi1 said...

I myself have it out for Geico. Am I the ONLY ONE who says, If you can save me %15 WHILE ADVERTISING AD NAUSEAUM VIA ANY AND EVERY POSSIBLE ROUTE (truly I expect to see skywriting), imagine how much you could save me if YOU. JUST. STOPPED.
It would be sooooo good for my mental health.
Also, I have eaten Steakuumm's. My mom used to cook them up and make the greasiest imaginable "steak" sandwiches. It was also not unknown for her to fry thick slices of Spam for dinner.
There, the roots of my psychosis...laid bare.

Sunday, April 27, 2008 12:13:00 PM  
Blogger katie said...

girl, you so put kelly ripa to shame. you are far wittier, more intelligent and you have a much better rack. just sayin'. :)

anyways, hope u had a great weekend!

Sunday, April 27, 2008 6:46:00 PM  
Blogger The Savage said...

Move over bacon, now there's something meatier.... Wait... wrong critter byproduct....

Give a hoot, don't pollute.... wait... now there isn't anything to do with critter meat in that one....
Crap....

Where's the beef?!?!
As to why for the archaistic advertising nostalgia? You started it with bringing steak-ums up.... Gads! It's been a (Yes. Intended pun)small slice of forever

Sunday, April 27, 2008 7:08:00 PM  
Blogger Choppzs said...

My stimulus check....

Things for the house.

Fun, Fun! lol

Oh and yes, we just paid off damn discover and i feel SOOOO much better after doing soo. I told them to take the account and close it, then stick it up their asses! lol

Sunday, April 27, 2008 8:35:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Michael - I've never even seen these things in grocery stores, but with that catchy little jingle of theirs, I may have to look around a bit.

XI - Granted, I can't give up the KAR competely in my KR fantasy. To saddle KR with this KAR would mean to have her (me?) toppling over all the time, and that really doesn't seem nice.

Therese - Ha! I should well know this theory based on my husband's fondness for finding a double entendre for every tool he brings home!

Des - I'm sure they're most definitely guys, and they're richer than any stimulus check will make them!

Cocotte - The hot husband plays a big part in my Kelly Ripa desires. That and a paycheck that would allow me to buy as many Steak-Umm sandwiches as my little heart desired!

kimmy - I think I just want to be super perky and have tiny boobs and killer arms. Or not. I'm not sure how long I could do perky, do you?!

Bee - Five. Five. Five dollar footlong...

Stacie - Look at you in your hot new photo! Rawr!

In my Kelly Ripa dreams, I imagined Steak-Umms smelled of wet dog. Thanks for affirming that for me without having to go about the pesky task of finding out for myself!

Sailor - Does the fan come already equipped with a way to attach it to myself so it's not cumbersome, but still gives the flowing effect to my hair? If so, I'll get my people on it for the contact!

justlori2day - Head on! It really works! I almost want to buy some to see if it does really work!

And omg! I was just talking about pinned pants this weekend with someone, only we called them tight rolled pants. That's a classy look right there. Let's hope that we live in an America that doesn't allow for such a thing to come fully back!

1blueshi1 - As one who grew up having to eat the Spam from time to time, I feel your pain. I used to pull the pin off the cans, hoping it would keep my mom from using it. Alas, moms ALWAYS find a way!

Let's add Aflack insurance to the mix while we're at it, ok?

Katie - Ha! Thank you! Now all we have to do is figure out how I can roll all those attributes up and get me one of those Kelly Ripa-sized paychecks!

Good to see you here again! Hope you're doing well!

Savage - Savage! I had completely forgotten SizzleLean! Thanks for planting that catchphrase in my head now!

However, you seemed to have forgotten your own catchprhase when you come hang out here...

Choppzs - The only bad thing about getting these stimulus checks in the mail is having to use it on something boring like life stuff! Wish we could use it to do something fun...but that would just jack up my Discover bill again!

Sunday, April 27, 2008 11:46:00 PM  
Blogger Recovering Soul said...

for someone who loves the innuendo as much as you, how can you not enjoy a $5 foot long?

Monday, April 28, 2008 8:03:00 AM  
Blogger Bee said...

Mean. You are one mean chick.

Monday, April 28, 2008 4:02:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

RS - I love it up to the point where it becomes like a raging tumor in my head, encouring me to want to punch a wall when I hear it. Other than that, I'm totally down with the Double E.

Bee - five... ;}

Tuesday, April 29, 2008 10:28:00 PM  
Blogger Nanette said...

I just want that damn stovetop of hers...come on, boils water in 90 seconds. ;)

Thursday, May 01, 2008 2:04:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Nan - No kidding, right! And I want to be able to dance thru my kitchen and catch cupcakes one handed. Then don't even get me started on eliminating stains with my high powered Tide Stain Stick!

Thursday, May 01, 2008 9:15:00 AM  

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