...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Monday, March 03, 2008

won't you take me to...hell...

Sunday morning, the boys and I strap into the mini and hit the highway en route to church. The soundtrack for our adventure? Queen's classic turned stadium staple, "We Are The Champions," followed by "Funkytown."

...ah, Lipps Inc., we hardly knew ya...

Anyway, I love these songs. But I love them as performed by their original artists. What I heard on this glorious Sunday morning weren't the classics. No. The former was performed by
Crazy Frog, the latter by Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Haven't heard them? Go take a listen. I'll wait.

OK. Glad you're back. What did you think? As an aside, the first one of you who can tell me what that little nubbin of nubbiness is between Crazy Frog's legs wins my 45 single of Funkytown, because the little I can recall from middle school biology? Frogs don't have external nubbins.

My kids think they love this stuff. When I tried to school them on the catchy greatness of the originals (along with the charms of "I Want Candy," "Walkin' On Sunshine," and "Double Dutch Bus" as performed the way nature intended, which wasn't by random child artists, as they were when they were part of the song set on this day), they were all, "You just don't get it, old lady. It's about the music, man!"

Over the "ding a dang dong" chorus of Crazy Frog's "We Are The Champions," I look in the rear view mirror and see my youngest son tossing up the rock hands and thrashing his head along the sides of his booster seat throne, and my oldest encouraging him by lighting up my cell phone and waving it skyward, eyes closed and swaying.

I probably don't "get it," because when I was their age, I was listening to some of the artists I still listen to today. I pray that when my children have children, they don't find themselves in a mini on a Sunday morning, rolling their eyes at some wacky amphibian's musical gold (Nor trying to hide the fact that they are dancing in their seats just a little bit to Alvin and the Chipmunk's Funkytown, which I may or may not have been doing, but whatever, because who are you to judge me, eh?! Tell me right now you're not all "Got a make a move to a town that's right for me...." in your head this very instant!).

While I had no great thoughts about the songs, I did think it was a good thing we were on our way to spend some time with God, because that moment was what I imagine hell to be like.

Hell is a fiery pit of despair, filled with sinners screaming and clawing atop the other, you say? Oh, no. It's a sold out coliseum show headlined by Hannah Montana. Which, OK, I could live with, because I'm not ashamed to say I know the words to G.N.O., which also came on the radio during the trip to church, and if hell is, indeed, a girl's night out, then sign me up. I need one. That right there is the best of both worlds.

Strike that. The best world would be one minus that weird nubbined crazy frog.
That, and actually living in Funkytown.



Blogger Scarlett Wanna Be said...

This is a very sad story. No one likes being told their music is old, or that "they just don't get it." If it makes you feel better, I have a dance routine that I still do whenever I hear Funkytown (by original artist only). The minute I hear the first strings, I break it out! I think if I were your boys mom, THAT would be their idea of Hell.

Monday, March 03, 2008 1:26:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love the visual of your kids in the back, swaying, rocker hands, throwing up the cell phone. that's classic shizz right there, gal.

You have a great week!! :)

Monday, March 03, 2008 6:41:00 AM  
Anonymous Lady Calliah said...

Ok, I went and looked at the frog thing (no, not THAT thing) and I just have to say ... W T F?????

That's just so wrong. WRONG.

My kid loves to thrash and headbang to all the 80's bands, so I don't have to deal with the HELL you're going through - YET. With my luck, though, my daughter will get into rap or something equally horrific, and I'll have to shoot myself.

Monday, March 03, 2008 8:10:00 AM  
Blogger Bogart in P Towne said...

Ah, the cartoon cover. Nothing like it. The first time I heard Funkytown like that, I had fall-out syndrome.

Monday, March 03, 2008 8:12:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Yeah, the frog-nubbin. . . Just a couple notches too strange, that bit.

Makes me glad that one of the very few things I did abso-freakin'-lutely right in raising my kids was early exposure to the compleat Beatles opus. . .

Monday, March 03, 2008 9:43:00 AM  
Blogger Chag said...

In my opinion, Pseudo Echo still owns the best rendition of Funkytown.

But what is it about kids that makes them like high-pitched animals massacring songs?

Monday, March 03, 2008 10:15:00 AM  
Blogger Melody said...

I just tell my kids "You'll listen to my music and YOU'LL LIKE IT! O relse i will turn it up even louder."

I'm a mean mommy.

Monday, March 03, 2008 10:55:00 AM  
Blogger Choppzs said...

*shakes head, and mutters to herself*

I Choppzs, also know Hannah Montana songs.

*feels ashamed and wants to cry*

LOL, aren't kids great??

Monday, March 03, 2008 12:36:00 PM  
Blogger Laura B. said...

I so laughed out loud as I got the mental picture of one baby with rock hands and thrashing his head and the other with the cell phone lit up. Hysterical! What a way to start your Sunday!

Monday, March 03, 2008 2:27:00 PM  
Blogger Mandy Lou said...

I'm having flashbacks of the time Duran Duran's "Girls on Film" was refered to as an oldie. Feeling very very old now...

Monday, March 03, 2008 4:56:00 PM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

I'm afraid I would have pulled over and shoved them out.

Next time, break out the S-s-ss-aaa-fff-eee-ttt-yyy dance. That'll teach 'em.

Monday, March 03, 2008 5:43:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

Now, for the rest of the crappy week, I will be happy because I'm singing the Chipmunks Funky Town. Thank you expnading my musical world. Really.

Monday, March 03, 2008 7:34:00 PM  
Blogger The Savage said...

And now for a confession.... I listened to New Kids on the Block's Hangin' Tough and enjoyed it....
Yeah... we're rough....

Despite your kid's taste in music you are still a MILL in my book... Mother I Like to Lust....

Monday, March 03, 2008 8:00:00 PM  
Blogger Silicon Nitride Balls said...

Hey - try listening to the two worst offerings of Kiwi rock (and I use the word "rock" very loosely...), about 45 times in a row, as your beloved studies up for the next day's Body Pump instructor test. That is hell. (and then, she just goes to sleep!)

Actually, we HAVE the best of both worlds here: The Frog on XM Kids in the car, and Funkytown recordings - by both kids, the 9-year old and the 7-year old, on the Karaoke machine. (I'll bet the "IT" part of Biscuit could even figure out how to take that off the SD card and play it over a blog post, come to think of it...)

Monday, March 03, 2008 9:53:00 PM  
Blogger 1blueshi1 said...

oh, I love Miley's See You Again! Secretly and Shamefully, of course. And how can I forget the agony of grocery shopping to the stringy Muzak strains of "Like A Virgin", when I can remember how shocking her performance was at the MTV video awards, B.C.
you know when you know the words to the muzak, you are their target demographic and are spending exponentially more dinero than without the muzak. sigh. maybe they could start playing it at the gas pump?

Monday, March 03, 2008 10:26:00 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

it if makes you feel any better I've been singing "gotta make a move to a town that's right for me" since mid June...coincidence? I think not. And my kid, though he listens to it on a regular basis and is often caught with MY cd's in his room, refers my my music (80's) as "Old School"
Kill me now!

Monday, March 03, 2008 10:47:00 PM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Well Stacie stole my singing line, ha!

I must admit that I clicked over to the frogs and didn't notice the frog nubbin. I guess I better return and see if it is just right.


Tuesday, March 04, 2008 12:00:00 AM  
Blogger Biscuit said...

Yes...yes I was. I WAS all "Gotta make a move to a town that's right for meeeeeeee." Before I even got to that paragraph. Out loud, even. And I was dancing. The penalty for making me embarrass myself like that is one close-up shot of your kickass rack :)

Regarding your comment...let's just say we broke up and get straight to the make up drinks and sexy reading.

Goodness, now I'm all hot and bothered.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008 7:51:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Scarlett - The boys were so engrossed in their backseat rock concert, they didn't notice that, regardless of the fact it was the Chipmunks, I was compelled to break out The Dance. You simply can't help it when it's Funkytown!

The boys typically tell me to stop shaking my butt and make their dinner, please. They do it while they're laughing at me, so they're not being mouthy!

Katie - The only redeeming aspect of their rock show back there was I didn't get a buzz from the contact high!

Lady C - That nubbin IS wrong! My boys will typically listen to whatever I play (80s! Woo Hoo!), but when I turn on the rap, they roll their eyes at me!

Bogart - I hear there's a Chipmunk's version of "Don'tcha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me," but thankfully, I've not heard that.

Desmond - My youngest actually has a stack of dubbed Beatles cds in his room, tahnks to his thoughtful mom, and last week I watched him sit at the end of his bed and sing along to "Here Comes The Sun". A vision!

Chag - Oh! YES! I have nothing but the utmost agreement with you! And I don't know that science will ever uncover what it is about kids and their taste for the shrill. I'd chip a few bucks in for the research grant, though!

Melody - Ha! They usually play along to my playlists, but on the weekends, I let them bring the party. This is the price I pay!

Choppzs - No shame here, girl! I know your pain, and I'll sing along with you!

Laura - After all those songs came a horrific adaptation by the Jonas Brothers of "Kids in America". I say if these kids shouldn't be corrupting our classics!

Mandy - I would have been all "Oh, YOU so did NOT!" to the person who called that an oldie! Realistically, I *know*, but the nerve!

kimmy - I'm making note of that kicking them out part. I'm also downloading "Pop Muzik" to really make them crazy! BTW - "Saftey Dance" rocks! Hell yeah!

Bee - I'm here for you. You're welome!

Savage - You have made your confession to a womam who shamelessly purchased the cassette of NKOTB's "Hangin' Tough," so congratulations to you for coming clean!

SNB - I bow down to you for enduring the Kiwi rock, as well as your stellar parenting that you'd endure Crazy Frog for any length of time. That would be my youngest's idea of heaven. I expect to hear your kids' versions of "Funkytown"!

1blueshi1 - When we are all out together and something like REM's "Everybody Hurts" or "Shiny Happy People" comes on the muzak (or any song of my youth and, ok, present day), I sing along to it, much to my kids' dismay. My oldest looked at me from across the table at a restaurant recently and asked "Is there ANY song you do not know?"

I can proudly say that there's very few I don't. However, I'm sure my sons would just like me to shut up now and then!

Stacie - OLD SCHOOL?! OLD SCHOOL?! That's ballsy right there! Alas, I get a gut punch feeling when I hear them play 80s blocks on the radio and call them classics.

Nan - A minute and a half in, that nubbin pops out at you. I say beware of cartoonish baffoons and crazy frogs who immediately want to show you their nubbins, though! Fugly! So, so fugly!

Biscuit - Ah! The power I have over you! This works into my plans perfectly! Yes, let us skip the formality of the break up and the sobbing telephone calls and procede immediately to the drinks and sexy, sexy reading. I just lifted my shirt right there. Did you notice?

Tuesday, March 04, 2008 8:51:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

I noticed.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008 9:08:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

FTN - I did it for you, too. I'll do it later, also, but you have to ask.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008 9:13:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Just 'cuz I know you'd wanna know, you can go to Amazon and search on 'chipmunks beatles'. Oh yeah. Good, good stuff. . .

Tuesday, March 04, 2008 9:30:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Des - I hooked the kid up with a CD of kids and real musicians singing Beatles songs, so I hope I can curb it at that, because it's pretty tolerable. I can't do chipmunk beatles. Oh, I just can't...

Tuesday, March 04, 2008 9:47:00 PM  

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