...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

'I don't like my job & I don't think I'm gonna go anymore'

Remember that time when I was all, "Oh, oldest child, I love you! I adore the ground you walk on! You make my time as your mother better than a thousand calorie-free ice cream sundaes with nuts!"

I raved about this kid of mine here, here, and here again.

Wait! Also, ha ha, this was a funny one. And oh yeah! Here's one where I went all soft and sweet on him.

(You should really check some of those out! I believe those are what is called "very special episodes" in the business. The business of being an awesome mom, that is!)

Anyway, those days are over! As of last night at approximately 8:15 p.m., I've officially tendered my resignation as a mother. This post serves as my letter announcing my intended departure. It does not, however, absolve the company of any or all future legal action I may take against them, of which I am presently weighing my options. Mommy wouldn't mind paying for some plastic surgery to erase evidence of the fact that I've given birth.

I realize this may seem hasty, that the logical step would have been for me to fire my kid. Trust me, with the number of write ups he has in his personnel file - which range from breath that smells like he ate a small animal to numerous recent infractions for insubordination - he should be the one being escorted out by security. However, numerous probationary measures have been issued and patently failed, so, after a closed-door strategy session with the company president (which is what I like to make Tool Man think he is, but we really know who's running this conglomeration. Oooohh yeah!), it was decided I'd resign and take a hefty, yet fair severance package (which may or may not include taking my youngest son with me because, let's be honest, he's still young, adorable, and, most importantly, pliably impressionable. If he goes now, there's a good chance I can deprogram him from the evils his older brother has worked to instill upon him, thus turning him into a potential asset - or fighting machine! - for me)(however, based on how things are going so far this morning, coupled with the way he growled at me when I informed him we were out of Rice Krispies, I'm leaning toward the 'maybe not' option).

Why the bail out, you might be asking? Because I'm tired, so very tired, of playing the lead role in Groundhog Day with this kid every day (the 'every day' thing being the perfect means by which to reference Groundhog Day, which, if I'm playing the lead, I guess that makes me some kind of Bill Murray, which now just leaves me confused and yet relieved that I've chosen not to be Andi MacDowell. Anyway...). Every day, no matter the hour, life with my oldest son is like caring for a newborn lamb. One I must nudge with my furry Mama Lamb nose to get up and walk, eat some grass (wait, I'm from the suburbs, people...do lambs eat grass?), dress himself (a task that begs the reminder to yes, change his underwear), and brush his little lamb teeth (what's left of them, anyway). This is every! damn! day! people!

Then there's the time he's in school. Every day since he started middle school nearly a month ago, Tool Man and I have beseeched him to come home with all the materials necessary for studying. Binders, bags, glasses, homework, anything. Every day he comes home with one thing, but not the other. The next he'll have the other, but not the one thing. We are now nearly four weeks into this first big year, and he insists he never has any homework. I know! I find it odd, too. So I keep tabs on him, via the mysteries of the Internet, as well as my old school option, the telephone. Here's an example of a conversation that took place in our house last night:

Me: "So, do you have any homework. How about a test to study for. You should be having tests by now, shouldn't you?"
Little Lamb: "I don't have any homework. Tests? Wha? Huh? I don't know what that word means. What's a test?"
Me: (silence...simmering silence)
Little Lamb: (blank look of someone so simple and without care or clue)

::Ring! Ring!::

Me: "Oh, the telephone! Saved by the bell! Ha ha! STAY RIGHT THERE!"
Little Lamb: (watching dust particles float through the air like fairies)
Me: "Hello? Oh, hello, Mrs. Little Lamb's social studies and science teacher! How are you tonight? Great. What? You want to talk to me about Little Lamb's TEST? The TEST he took in social studies. The TEST in social studies that HE TOOK TODAY?"
Little Lamb: (sigh)
Me: (simmering glare)

Replace 'social studies test' with 'science quiz,' 'reading assignment,' and/or 'writing notebook,' and you pretty much have a front row seat to what we do every day (have I driven that point home enough yet?) in my house (although my hair doesn't always look as great as you might imagine it does). Last night, in a fit of despair compounded by the fact that the new season of House was set to start soon and I was going to miss it, I informed my insubordinate child that, if things didn't change around here soon, I'd be taking off work next week (oh, friendly bookstore, will you miss me for those 12 hours?!), and I will follow his little lamb butt to all his classes, and I will put my hair up in a mass of eight or 10 ponytails and perhaps scratch at my boobs and raise my hand and ask pertinent questions, just to embarrass him.

My other option is to follow his every move while outside the school building, then, when he's settled in his various classes, I will tap on the windows, point at him, and make the universal sign for throat slashing with my index finger, then point at him again. I assume that 'index finger across throat' is the universal sign for throat slashing and/or threatening to throat slash, but Steve only taught me how to say "more" and "I love you" on those wonderful episodes of Blue's Clues, so I need to check with Backpacking Dad to be sure. Actually, if you could tell me how to sign "There's more throat slashing /(actual slash!) alluded to throat slashing where that came from. I love you!", that would be totally awesome. (P.S. Did you miss that I didn't insert you into my last post? I figured it would have made you uncomfortable, what with the MILF talk and all. But in my mind? Totally there!)

It's my belief that you can only do something over and over again before you lose the will to live or to put in a good, honest day's work at it, whichever comes first (however, this theory doesn't pertain to my interest in linking BP Dad all the time, just so he knows). As much as this kid is driving me crazy, I would like to live long enough to one day see grandchildren (see them drive my son insane with the blank stares and smirky behavior of those who are testing their boundaries and finding them dangerously lined with grenades and buried mortar shells much like the way this boy of mine and I are at present), so that is why I feel my best option now is to step down from the job as his mother and see what new and exciting options await me out there in these shaky economic times.

I am willing to now entertain any and all job and/or lifestyle options anyone has for me. Feel free to leave your proposals in the comments, but know that any of them that involve having either you or any people standing 4' 9" or under calling me Mom will be dismissed (but thoroughly enjoyed).


Labels:

56 Comments:

Blogger Will said...

And to think, I still have this to look forward to. Maybe it's not too late to re-enlist back into the Army...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 9:16:00 AM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Groundhog Day: So true. And you're telling me this isn't going to get better as my kids get older? Lalalalala, I can't hear you.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 9:17:00 AM  
Blogger Always Home and Uncool said...

There appear to be jobs available for people who like to count mouse boners. Won't your parents be proud?

Or you could be my personal assistant. All you need to do is rotate the CDs in my player to facilitate a never-ending flow of good tunage, let the dog in and out 103 times a day and sit on my couch looking totally entraced by my every move.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 9:20:00 AM  
Anonymous Sam (The Edge Of Insanity) said...

Damn, I thought when I was reading this that you were referring to C. He's the EXACT same way and it's frustrating the crap outta me. Does LL stall? When you ask him to do his homework, does he spend a half an hour looking for a pencil (I use that term loosely, his idea of "looking" involves slowly inching toward the desk while watching tv), shuffling through his backpack, and anything else he can think of to put it off?
If you figure out a solution, let me know. I'm open to all suggestions.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 9:23:00 AM  
Blogger justlori2day said...

Pretty sure the same exact thing happened in my house last night, but add in, the ADULT MALE getting my pink slip as well because he wanted to jump in like that annoying fly buzzing in your ear thinking we were playing tag team wrestling and not "I am the mom and I said so".

Needless to say, I got written up last night by my little kitten. I believe I read words like: "I am a big girl now" and "I cannot take it anymore".

Yep, pretty sure it was meant as a threat to my motherhood, but BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I still had a few tricks up my sleeve! Called revelee at 9:30 - UP AND AT-UM little miss kitty kat - its time to have a pow wow.

MEEEEOOOOOOOW!

Maybe it was that full moon!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 9:35:00 AM  
Blogger Trueself said...

I personally know a mom who, in order to straighten up her son's school behavior, attended class with him for a couple of days. She shadowed him to every single class. She talked with each and every teacher. She embarassed the crap out of him just by being there. She told him she'd stop going to school with him when he started to doing what he ought to do without her shadowing his every move. He straightened up after just a couple of days, and thereafter all it took was the threat of it happening again to get him back into line.

You might tell your son that little true story and see if he prefers to learn the lesson from the story or from living it out himself.

Sorry, I got no job for you unless you want to come and clean my house top to bottom. I'll take care of the rugrat if you'll take care of the house. Trying to do both is getting the best of me.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 9:38:00 AM  
Blogger Wendy said...

My mom went to school with my oldest brother. When he was in highschool! It worked. Do it.

Course, he dropped out by 11th grade and later found himself in prison (twice!), but I'm pretty sure it was because she didn't do it when he was in middle school.

You could go all Dr. Phil on him, but that seems like a lot less fun.

As for the job, I'm currently looking for someone to satisfy my husband's libido while I raise his children. There's no pay, and you might have to deal with me holding a knife to your throat after you did it, but you'd really enjoy the sex part of it!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 10:17:00 AM  
Blogger CT Mom said...

Oh, honey - this is my life too. Maybe it's a sixth grade pre-requisite that kids this age learn how to instinctively make their eyes glaze over and play dumb - a Pavlovian reaction to the words "homework", "tests", "quiz", just like my dog drools when I say "cookie". She is just lucky she's cute.

And btw, she is not one of the girls calling your house :-)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 10:23:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Wow. Just yesterday, Molly regaled me for most of my drive home with stories of 7M and various airheaded/forgetful maneuvers that had her ready to spit. Must be a 10-year-old thing. . .

Molly never actually tendered her resignation, but the, uh, 'conversation' did include phrases like, "He's your son" and "you'll just have to deal with him, because I refuse to do it anymore!"

And I think that for one of our older kids, Molly actually did the 'go-to-class-with-the kid' gig. Altho, I can't say that it worked quite as well as we hoped. . .

See, it's one of the advantages of having eight kids - we can just tell 'em, "you know, you're expendable; we'll just move forward with the ones we've got left after you're gone. . ."

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 10:25:00 AM  
Blogger Chas said...

We're a little unconventional regarding disciplne in my house (and in all fairness my oldest is only just beginning to discover the magnitude of his attitude capabilities) but I assure you the moment he brings home only one half of his homework or the other but not both, he will be allowed to have either the games portion or Nintendo DS portion of his DS- his choice. He can either have the games or the unit, but not both. Fortunately he's still in his mostly sweet stage, but I am gathering ideas to be used at a later date.

It sounds to me like you'd be a shoe in for "professional alligator wrestler".

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 10:30:00 AM  
Blogger Rug's Bug said...

OMG?! Are you sure we aren't parenting the same kid?

My kid thought I was the worst parent EVER last night because I wouldn't let him watch TV, play with Lego's, play with a friend, because he'd forgotten his homework at school.

I threatened to go out on strike last week but no one gave a damn here. Maybe my sign wasn't convincing enough.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 10:31:00 AM  
Blogger Meg said...

Wow. I'd quit, too. Isn't the definition of insanity trying the same thing the same way and expecting different results? I think I read that on a postcard somewhere. Or spraypainted in the subway.

You can always sell him. I hear the black market for unruly, sullen, non-listening, preteens is quite hot lately. Even hotter than when I was a teenager and my mother threatened to sell me.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 10:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Redneck Mommy said...

I just want to know when you are going to start ridiculously linking me in all your posts.

After all, I'm smarter, funnier and way better looking than BPD.

Plus, I'm fairly certain my face doesn't smell like cheese and I have bigger boobs.

Just something to consider.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 10:43:00 AM  
Blogger Shonda Little said...

This is like reading a day in the life of Shonda (I'm Shonda). God bless you....and beer.....and xanax....and over-the-counter cough medicine.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 11:56:00 AM  
Blogger Ali said...

my kids still get excited to do their homework. but, then again, i still have to WATCH their every homeworking move. and seriously? second graders? get, like, an hour of homework every night.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 12:18:00 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

I won't lie to you and tell you it gets any better because that's not how I roll. I don't want to scare you either and tell you it only gets worse from here on out, so I won't say anything at all but to tell you that you totally ROCK for using Office Space references in this post. Only the BEST movie EVER!

Stacie

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 12:34:00 PM  
Blogger iMommy said...

It would scar him for life if you went to school with him, but isn't that what mothers are for? I mean, really.

Alternatively, you could come share my husband with me. I need someone to help with all the nagging, reminding, bitching and complaining around here. :-)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 12:53:00 PM  
Blogger Tulipsanticipation said...

Ooo, sounds like my younger brother when he was in middle school.

At the end of the year my parents went to help him clean out his locker and found some sort of beverage spilled in the bottom, stinky socks, fruit flies, and a nice colony of mold growing in the bottom of it all.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 1:48:00 PM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

There's always boarding school...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 1:49:00 PM  
Blogger Mandy said...

Ohmigod I love Trueself's solution.

I was a high school English Lit teacher in a former life. I totally could've recommended a few kids to follow.

Good luck. I'm sure it'll get better... at least, that's what I used to tell parents.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 1:54:00 PM  
Blogger FTN said...

I'd like to hire you to be MY mom. Interested?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 2:26:00 PM  
Blogger Don Mills Diva said...

Go to school with him please!

And take lots of pictures so we can all witness his humiliation!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 2:41:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

I feel that way sometimes too only I'd like to quit my job as "wife" and move on to "kept woman of rich husband #2"

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 2:46:00 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

I should not be laughing, but dammit, it's that or cry.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 2:57:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

*hangs head*

I know precisely how you feel. I want to throttle mine sometimes.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 3:18:00 PM  
Blogger Eternal Sunshine said...

OK - first of all, Possum got hsi name because he gets this blank look when you ask him a question, and we decided he's playing mental possum.

I love the going to school with him idea, and we should have done it to possum last year, but we managed.

We're about to start getting all over him again, because he dropped from a 100 to a 70 in one class in 2 days. I tried an assignment notebook, but that doesn't work. Plus, they gave him one in HS, and I haven'tseen it since the 1st day.

He is REQUIRED to bring home all of his books AND folders/ notebooks, even though "THEY" say it's not good for his back. "THEY" obviously do not have teenagers.

Also, I LOVE the internet so much. I love ambushing him when he has a missing assignment, or asking what he got on a test, and HE doesn't even know yet. But I do, oh yes, I do. Also, we took away his playstation for the WHOLE 8th grade, and still have to take it away occasionally, but not for long, 'cause he gets his butt in line when when he's faced with the prospect of family time in lieu of video games...

Oh forget it - I've blogjacked you and I'm very sorry. I'll just have to turn this into a post called "ES's Helpful hints for beating your tween or teen into homework submission" This is only a working title - I'll have to ruminate on it a little while.

Do I get the award for longest comment ever??

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 3:35:00 PM  
Blogger Middle Aged Woman said...

I'm pretty sure you need to say this: Would you rather have Mrs. Jones or Mrs. Smith here to stay with you next June/July while you are in summer school? We'll be on vacation and won't be able to take you back and forth. And, Honey, we will always love you, no matter how many times you have to repeat 7th grade. Then, let it go....

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 4:06:00 PM  
Blogger Mandy Lou said...

I think I'm leaning in favor of the pigtails and boob scratching approach, but the sign language has some merit (not to mention the fact that you could then list on your resume that you are bi-lingual).

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 4:13:00 PM  
Blogger Claire said...

I'm a mean, mean mommy. I'd go to class with him all day long. I'd take away all his favorite toys. And I'd do it soon. This stuff just doesn't get better if you leave it be.

FYI, I homeschool, and my kids haven't gone through this. However, my 7th grader takes FOREVER to get his work done, so he doesn't often get a lot of free time in the evenings. C'est la vie, I say!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 4:29:00 PM  
Blogger Ms Picket To You said...

this has been my last three days x three. today i actually said, if anyone even looks at me, IT WILL NOT BE PRETTY!

i'd give you advice -- wait did you ask for any -- but the truth is: who knows what the eff to do?

and bill murray eventually woke up.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 4:50:00 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Wait. You had to miss House? Is it wrong that I sent my husband and two year old out of the house last night so the good doctor and I could have some alone time? And you missed it. Had I but known, I would have let House and Wilson know they needed to HOLD OFF ON THE BIG REVELATION until you could watch with bated breath. Le sigh.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 5:15:00 PM  
Blogger Trooper Thorn said...

Maybe being a parent should be like a failing sports franchise. The owner knows he can't fire the whole team, so it is usually the coach that gets the axe. Bring in a new mom and see it things turn around. Likely they won't so in the spring you can trade off the kid and replace him through free agency.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 5:26:00 PM  
Blogger Sailor said...

Oh, God, I'm laughing out loud at this- and crying in sympathy, I've been through this so many times; and, it's still going on, with both #3 AND #4.

HOW you can be less than one week- ONE week, Five small days, into school, and have the first calls from the teachers:

"...Failing (insert class)..."

I wanna come with you!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 5:31:00 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

I just had to ground my kid because he wouldn't take a shower, and then when he finally hopped in, it was evident that he hadn't shampooed his hair.

He has long hair.

So ya, I hear ya. ;)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 8:10:00 PM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

Be careful what you wish for.

My slacker kid is now in his first year of college and busting his ass every night and doing swell.

My Miss organization straight A girl? Yeah she's on divorce number 2 and percolating babies number 2 and 3 right now.

Roll with the punches.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 8:25:00 PM  
Anonymous TwoBusy said...

Thank God my kids are way too good-hearted and well-mannered to ever give us problems like that. In fact, I'm going to go give them a hug for being such wonderful people -- just as soon as they finish riding their unicorns over the marshmallow rainbow steeplechase.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 8:41:00 PM  
Blogger The Savage said...

I cannot advise considering my parental mode is nil. Having no curtain climbers of my own makes it impossible for me to help (In the eyes of those who are parents).

These two words are still legal in the State of Kansas:
Corporal Punishment

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 9:10:00 PM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

i've wanted to quit being a mom since 1992. yeah.

especially when i'm all sneakin in high schools after hours through the stinky ass football locker room so my kid can get his science book that he seemed to forget he had a test for.

amazes me how they have such selective memory.

*sigh*

it will pass.

...as long as i'm living my baby you'll be.

(i say this everytime i want to scream and beat them...you can try it...see if it works for you!)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 9:12:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

We went through something similar when my daughter was in middle school. Not as bad, but certainly made me want to pull my hair out in great big globs from frustration.
Oh and hey, get a dvr and you'll never miss House again!

Thursday, September 18, 2008 9:31:00 AM  
Blogger Christina Lee said...

I used to be a family therapist in a former life, so that side of me should encourage you to think about natural consequences, finding what he cares about and then removing it until he gets his act together yada yada yada...wa wa wa wa wa (from charlie brown). My new profession involves fashion and shopping-so charge up that card, dress like a hot babe and get some MILF action going on (maybe with your coffee shop friend) to take your mind off of all of it.................JK :)

Thursday, September 18, 2008 10:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Undomestic Diva said...

Let's form a union and go on strike. I'm sooo over this.

Thursday, September 18, 2008 11:32:00 AM  
Blogger Backpacking Dad said...

I'm looking forward to my daughter being sent home from daycare with a note pinned to her shirt that reads "Keeps trying to form a breakaway Republic with a Constitution that enshrines a 'death to teachers' law".

Thursday, September 18, 2008 11:55:00 AM  
Anonymous M said...

The only position available here is the EXACT.SAME.THING. fulltime with The Boy.

Thursday, September 18, 2008 1:01:00 PM  
Blogger Andrea with the Flipflops said...

When you find this new job... do you think you could hire me. I think I will become a perfectional tanner/eater/drinker. So if you have something along those lines... keep me in mind.

And that you tube thing ... ya it brought me back to the years I worked for the government ... I must now claw out my eyes and drink vodka straight!

Thursday, September 18, 2008 2:35:00 PM  
Anonymous savvymode sg said...

yes, my sis says this job has no overtime, no benefit and certain the boss is quite a slave driver.

Thursday, September 18, 2008 6:35:00 PM  
Blogger Heinous said...

My son is still at the cute phase but I can see this on the horizon. I'm don't think you should jump into the first cubicle job you see though. It may seem glamorous, but it's not all the time. Well, the main difference is that the kids are taller.

Thursday, September 18, 2008 7:39:00 PM  
Blogger The Stiletto Mom said...

Aside from the brilliant commentary, thank you for posting a clip from office space which is one of my very favorite movies!
Now, I have to get back to beating my 9 year old over the head with his spelling log....sigh.

Thursday, September 18, 2008 7:42:00 PM  
Blogger That girl from Shallotte said...

When, exactly, do you sleep, my friend? So having a foot (though it's not a legally binding foot as I am a contract freelancer) in the corporate world, I see your reasons for considering firing your child. Audit Services confirms your very well-documented claims. But HR will never sign off on it, as the child has every legal right to file an age-discrimination suit, which could cost your company millions and result in very bad press. And you don't want that.

Thursday, September 18, 2008 8:16:00 PM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

you are way hotter looking than bill murray (not hitting on you, not that I wouldn't if I was in to that kind of thing)

I think my 12 year old self has a lot in common with the insubordinate you want to fire. So sorry.

Thursday, September 18, 2008 9:53:00 PM  
Blogger Zip n Tizzy said...

I'm not sure what the point is of sending them off to school once they're 11. I think it's really just a holding pen, because what could they possibly store in the vacant void that is the pubescent brain.
SO, yeah, it's just a break in the day for you... to plot your escape!
Good luck with your resignation.

Friday, September 19, 2008 12:34:00 AM  
Blogger Cocotte said...

Can't you get one of those "Educational Aide" jobs at his school? Then you can tell him his science, social studies,etc. teachers are your new best buddies at lunch.

Friday, September 19, 2008 5:39:00 AM  
Blogger Bogart in P Towne said...

Well, it could be worse...you could have girls.

Friday, September 19, 2008 8:11:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Here's where I'd respond to all your comments, but I just got done writing a REALLY long post about nothing (go check it out up there!), and now I have to eat breakfast really fast and go to work. I'll return to you...keep the faith...hold strong...I'm always with you...

Friday, September 19, 2008 9:58:00 AM  
Blogger Lori said...

I started down the same path when my eldest son was in middle school - surely you must have wiretapped and overheard the same conversations from my household! After many more phone calls from the teachers and corresponding blank stares during my version of Groundhog Day, my new mantra last year became "I will now pay someone to make sure your schoolwork gets done". The money earmarked (in my head) for the dream of one day having lipo is now being spent for his senior year of high school at the Marine Military Academy.

Love your blog, I guess I am now officially no longer a lurker.

Saturday, September 20, 2008 12:47:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Will - No need to re-enlist. All the orders, repetitive days, and threats must make it seem like the military anyway.

kelly - Every few days, something good happens and you relax. I urge you to keep your guard up! ;)

Always home - My Mom is already super delighted that I'ave had my journalism degree buried in a box for lo these many years, so counting mouse boners would have her prepping that holiday letter NOW to share with the family! Also, how do you like your sandwhich, sir?

Sam - Oh, he stalls, alright. He's got to suddently use the bathroom. Tell me about something he saw on Myth Busters, check the lunch menu, sharpen his pencil. I'll keep working on the solution!

Lori - Hugs, honey. You had a LONG evening of that! Hope the days since has have been far less stressful!

trueself Soon I'm going to have to put up or shut up on the going to school thing (knock on wood things are so far so good this week), but I'll use the true story bit on him if necessary!

Wendy - Your comment made me say "Awww! Gah! Awwww! GAH!" and perhaps invoke the name of Dr. Phil, too. Or at least think there was the basis for a perfect Dr. Phil show in your comment! :)

ct mom - There's a lot of asserting of one's independence goign on with sixth grade. At least here. How about at your house? I "get it" but it still is driving me a bit crazy!

Des - There have been a few phone calls to Tool Man in the midst of some of these battles, and some babbling of "he's your son..." Which is really true because the DNA that helped create some of this kid's habit rest soley with Tool Man!

Chas - I like this frustration method of discipline you have going on. When we'd done similar, it's definitely like asking them to choose which limb they wish to give up!

Rug's Bug - I thought there'd be a death here one night when I took away the television, the computer, and the friends. It was like pioneer days!

Meg - Ha! My mom threatened to ditch me, too! So much for learning/insanity! It's a vicious circle.

Redneck Mommy - I'm taking all your traits and attributes and carefully weighing my options. For the record, Tool Man's face smells like cheese sometimes. I imagine BP Dad's smells like hyper-manliness. For real. ;)

Shonda - Share please? Please? Please share?

ali - I'm to the point where I think I miss the lording over the homework time! I know! Crazy!

Stacie - You are killing me a little bit, but then you're bringing me back to life with the shared joy of Office Space!

imommy - Tool Man would make an excellent reference for this naggin and bitching job I seem to be seeking!

tulip - I don't doubt for a moment that there will be some similar scenario played out with my son. That's why I'm checking his locker at conferences next month!

brian - The problem with that is this kid's broke parents!

Mandy - I thought I was going to be a Lit teacher once in my past. I learned quickly, before I ever became one, that I didn't have the stamina!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008 7:19:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

FTN - Interested?! What do you mean interested?! When do I start?!?

don mills diva - OMG! I hadn't even thought of taking pictures, too! OMG! I will add that option to the threat!

Bee - I keep looking in the want ads for something like that, but really, they seem like the 'employer' wants a lot more out of the 'employee.' ;)

Melissa - I know. Oh, how I know...

aunt becky - Every day is a delightful adventure! Or so I tell myself...

ES - No problems on the blog jacking! We talk a lot about "They" and "We" at my house, and how "They" aren't "Your" parents. He is a bit freaked that the internet lets me know as much as it does before he can (or forgets to!)

Middle Aged Woman - Delightfully, he really is doing well in his classes, but I have injected the "Your teachers will be delighted to see you again next year," during some particularly hard nights here. I'm doing my best to let some things go...I really am!

mandy lou - Ha! Well, in these trying economic times, I really do need to pick up a few more skills for the resume! That bilingual thing absolutely couldn't hurt!

Claire - I so admire those out there who home school. I know I would be like my son - minus the organization - to do that!

Ms Picket - Ah, the never knowing what to do! It's close to killing the perfectionist in me!

Stephanie - Well, I did get that episode recordered on the DVR. But I haven't gotten to watch it yet! And then this week, it didn't record,so I have to wait a week for it to show up online! Gah!

Trooper Thorn - Oh, your analogy is perfect! Also, I'm pretty sure there's some folks in the stadium here who are definitely calling for the new mom.

Sailor - Happily, there's no failing, but I sometimes wonder if that's just because I stalk my kid's progress online, and then get on him to shape up!

Meg - Sigh...and then there's THAT issue in my house, too!

adrienne - So, apparently this vicious cycle thing my mom was always talking about IS true? Sigh...

twobusy - Apparently my kid got distracted on the way to HappyLand when he stopped to talk to the troll under the bridge and missed thoes unicorn flights. Sigh...

savage - Ah, but I'd have to move, so there's that, and sigh, I just don't know if I have that or corporal punishment in me!

kimmy - Sigh...we've had to hunt a few building custodians down in our day so they would let my kid up to his classroom for the missing links to his homework. I'll love you forever, I'll love you forever...on a loop, sista!

Heather - I need to get back into yoga, I think, just to survive this year. I also need to clear things off my DVR and figure out how to record so many shows at the same time on the same night so I don't keep missing House!

Christina - Ha! The second option seems so much more relaxing! Now, where did I put that credit card with the wide open balance on it... :)

Undomestic diva - I've got all the signs made. They're in the truck of my car. I'll be over soon.

BP Dad - That beautiful girl? Never! :) Also, did you notice where you were in the comments?! What's up with that?! Oh, yeah, you probably had homework to do. Good for you for staying on task!

M - Ok, but what's the pay like over there? The boss here really stinks, too, so I'd also consider a better boss as a benefit.

Andrea - I'm pretty sure I'm going to need some type of assistant in whatever new job I take on. I'll keep your resume toward the top of the pile!

savvymode - Rarely any vacation time, either, and if you're sick there's always a ton of stuff to make up when you're feeling better.

heinous - I still have a cute one to oversee, so I take my breaks with that one before putting my nose back to the middle school grindstone. Sigh...

Stiletto Mom - Oh, the spelling long. And the reading log. And the math log. I am spinning on a ton of logs!

That girl - I don't get enough sleep lately, that's for sure. Also, I don't have deep enough pockets to endure a messy legal battle with this kid. Sigh...I guess we'll keep instituting this probationary punishment then.

motherbumper - My inner 12 year old wants to cry a lot when she sees the homework. Her dad tells her to buck up. No wonder it's so frustrating around here with the three of us trying to get homework done!

zip - I like to think of this time in school as a giant sociological experiment. Or Thunderdome.

Cocotte - Excellent idea. Were it not for the crying I tend to repress when I think about homework and lessons, I'd probably be a very fine educational aide!

bogart - Sigh... I know what that drama's like!

Me - Took ya long enough, didn't it?

Lori - Thanks for coming out of the shadows! I hope your son's senior year is his most amazing yet!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008 8:00:00 AM  

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