...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Friday, April 16, 2010

five days since you laughed at me saying get that together come back and see me

Oh sexy Internet!! Do you know what I haven't done for a very, very long time?

Uh, how 'bout update your dang blog for like a hundred million years?

Well, yeah, I know, Internet. I know. It's been a little while. The title of this post sort of gives that one away. It wasn't exactly what I was going for, but it works, so I'm sticking with it. I'm sorry, both for being a bit lazy in the title thing AND for not coming around in awhile.

However, yours was not the answer I was looking for when I asked if you had any idea what I haven't done in a very, very long time. Want to try again?

Sang opera badly?

That would be the only way I sang it. Also? No.

Pretended to know something about that one thing when really you don't know jack about a lot?

Done and done. I didn't come here so you could make me feel bad, Internet...

Had a starring role in my dreams?

That's between you and your God. P.S. - Nice job kissing up to me.

Been totally exhausted and defeated, but bucked up like the good little camper you are?

Totally. However, that's still not the answer I'm looking for today.

Then we give up.

Really?

Did I stutter?

No. Also, nice Breakfast Club reference. Fist bumps, Internet. That's why I love you.

The thing I haven't done here for a very, very long time is bust out with a gigantic Tits List!!
That's right! You know them, you love them! It's My List Of Things I Currently Think Are Awesome That I Like To Refer To As 'The Tits' But Will Also Refer To As 'Cool Stuff' For Those Of You Who Don't Care For That Word!

You've missed them, haven't you? I can't say I blame you. My previous Tits Lists are huge (ok, that particular one was sort of small) and, if you're like me, you can't take your eyes off them! I know this. That's why I still love so many of the things on those earlier lists. However, a good Tits List needs tweaking, and I'm here to give you one of those tweaks. Are you ready? Let's do this!

Tits List IV - Comin' Back For More!
  • Desmond's return to LOST (I've missed ya, brotha)
  • the word 'glisten' (it's almost 'moist,' but not quite)
  • getting free CDs from work (Michael Buble, it's the only way you'd be in my collection)
  • working out (only listed here as a means of convincing myself it's awesome)
  • reruns of How I Met Your Mother on Lifetime
  • roasted vegetables (who knew I'd love you so hard, brussel sprouts?)
  • the return of Glee (to paraphrase Sue Sylvester, I was aroused and then furious when you were gone for four months...it's good to be back)
  • What Would Brian Boitano Make on Food Network (love him)
  • BBQ Popchips
  • caramel Milky Ways
  • the way my jeans are constantly falling down even though I've indulged in a few (too many) caramel Milky Ways (you win, working out...)
  • Prince's Sign O' The Times cd (I'm gonna party like it's 1987...)
  • brownie husband
  • the guy shopping at the bookstore last week who, while on a cell phone call with a friend, said 'Talk to me, Goose."
  • sleeping with the windows open again finally (until an ACTUAL goose flew over my house, loudly, at 4:30 a.m., and I lost that lovin' feeling)
  • the massive, block-long hopscotch grid my kids and their friends drew in chalk that started at our garage door and ended up the street.
  • logging onto Facebook and seeing the status update of one of my friends who plays Farmville that read "Jim is in search of wood."
  • that my oldest son has decided he will get his haircut tonight after all (and by after all, I mean after I showed him a photo of Justin Bieber and told him hair like that took more work than someone who can't remember to brush his teeth twice a day could put into it)
  • Modern Family
  • the 'I Will Remember You' episode of Angel. When the clock ticks and memories are dissolved and Buffy clings to Angel and cries? I BAWL LIKE A BABY. I purposely watch it JUST TO CRY!
  • my dear friend TwoBusy now likely saying "When is it you DON'T ever cry?"
  • the fact that I don't watch as much TV as this list would have you believe
  • Polite Fictions
  • also Culture Brats, the lovechild of my other dear friend, Chag, and his pop culture team of crime fighters.
  • walking out of Walgreens with $40 worth of merchandise that I only paid $4.50 for (and not because I shoplifted it, m'kay?)(those days are long over!)(psst - coupons!)
  • the fact that my inappropriate crushes on young male celebrities doesn't kick in until said young male celebrity is close to 19 (except in the case of Nick Jonas, but he seems older than 17)
Holy hell, that is a monstrous Tits List! I should stop now, even though I know you all love a good TL, so I hope you'll share some of what you think is awesome right now with me. Do it. You know you want to...

(oh, speaking of things that are the tits, and, well, have to do with, I guess, ACTUAL...yeah...OK, you remember I went to the doctor? Well, I'm happy to now report that my issue is a non-issue. Hooray! I guess that should have topped my Tits List, huh?)

*************************
One more thing. Did you catch that Polite Fictions was on my list? Well, it's there for a reason and that reason is all the awesome that the great pool of talented writers fills the place up with, and NOT just because I'm going to take this opportunity to pimp my latest contribution there, but I just did that, so I guess...well...I guess I just want you to go read it, and hey, leave a comment, would you? Not just at mine, but all the (far, far better) offerings that have gone up. You might remember (or just now discover, lucky you!) that we're writing about the Alphabet of Regret this time. I just busted out a little something around the letter P. You may be asking yourself are there parenthesis involved, and I would be telling you that I could tell you, but instead, I'd like you go go find out yourself (because there's other P type things there, too...) and tell me if you think it's The Tits.

Labels:

29 Comments:

Blogger Craig said...

Healthy tits are The Tits. . .

And you know, the second you busted out with a new Tits List, the VERY FIRST THING I thought of was, "Um, so how ARE the, uh, tits, dearie?"

And listen, you, of all people, should just NEVER, out of consideration for guys like me, post the words "monstrous Tits List". 'Cuz, (sorry, but it's Friday afternoon, and evidently, my inhibitions are just a wee bit lacking) Monstrous Tits are monstrously The Tits. . .

Glad to know about your non-issue, at any rate.

Friday, April 16, 2010 12:51:00 PM  
Blogger just making my way said...

I love the song your title comes from - and I'm sure to be humming all day now.

Nice list. Fist bump on the working out! Of course, I am eating a handful of Starbursts right now, so I haven't really rounded the bend to "eating right" yet. But still, fist bump!

Friday, April 16, 2010 1:14:00 PM  
Blogger Logical Libby said...

"In search of wood." That almost makes me not hate Farnmville with every fiber of my being.

Friday, April 16, 2010 1:51:00 PM  
Blogger Whitemist said...

You are not the only one who has not been up to bloggin lately, join the club!
Maybe we are all feeling something together!
Glad to hear of your non-issue, I am sure that got you nervous!

Friday, April 16, 2010 1:53:00 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

Welcome back. the "talk to me, Goose" guy? I want him to be my new best friend. See what you can do about that. Thanks!

Friday, April 16, 2010 2:19:00 PM  
Blogger Anna See said...

Yeah! I'm so glad yours are okay!!!!!

Loved this list. I am CRAZY about Modern Family. "Talk to me Goose!?" That's awesome!

Friday, April 16, 2010 3:57:00 PM  
Blogger A Vapid Blonde said...

YOU my dear Fadkog are The Ultimate Tits!

Friday, April 16, 2010 5:58:00 PM  
Blogger Zip n Tizzy said...

Since we're big on "Saving the Ta-Ta's" 'round here,
I'm glad to hear that yours are safe. Topped the Tits list for me. Nice job on the working out. If the jeans are falling down, it's totally working!

Friday, April 16, 2010 6:25:00 PM  
Blogger Pgoodness said...

Yay for the tits and the list!

And talk to me goose with the following goose reference? Totally the best!!

Friday, April 16, 2010 7:53:00 PM  
Blogger lime said...

your awesomely healthy tits are indeed the tits! yay!

Friday, April 16, 2010 10:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Cheryl said...

This post was the tits! I love a good long laugh first thing in the morning. So glad all's well with your real tits.

Saturday, April 17, 2010 5:16:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

You, my dear Diffy are the tits!
I'm just waiting until I can find all the seasons of Parker Lewis Can't Lose. We can synchronize Swatches then....

Saturday, April 17, 2010 7:23:00 AM  
Blogger Pat said...

Glad to hear your tits, whether they're monstrous or not, are okay. I was worried about you, little buddy. :)

I LOVE Modern Family. That show is soo funny!

You mean I can exercise AND still eat chocolate? Who knew?

Saturday, April 17, 2010 11:23:00 AM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

I'm glad to hear about your good health news.

Do sprouts really become edible when you roast them? And if so, what do they taste like?

Saturday, April 17, 2010 6:04:00 PM  
Blogger TwoBusy said...

Cry, FADKOG, cry! Cry, FADKOG, cry!

(it sounds better if you pretend I'm a mean 12yo girl.)

Also, for the record: I'm totally stealing that "Talk to me, Goose" thing, and planning to abuse it to an unnatural degree.

Sunday, April 18, 2010 8:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Brian said...

Tits Ahoy! The non-issue is definitely The Tits.

Totally agree with you on the roasted Brussels Sprouts too. Try them with diced up sweet potato too. More tits!

Sunday, April 18, 2010 10:58:00 AM  
Blogger Cocotte said...

Modern Family is just the tits. Are you a fan on FB? Love their "choose your favorite quote from this week's episode."

Sunday, April 18, 2010 4:10:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

Modern Family makes me happy! And also? Congrats on the pant falling thing! I too have been doing accidental mooning which I normally would be horrified about but not so much. ;o)

Glad to hear that the boobs have been giving a clean bill of health. I have mine inspected daily by the boy I live with.

Sunday, April 18, 2010 8:47:00 PM  
Blogger Swirl Girl said...

your non-issue tits are surely the tits' tits!!

Sunday, April 18, 2010 11:16:00 PM  
Blogger Christina Lee said...

GREAT list, you! YES to GLEE!! and to Desmond (But more of Desmond meant less of Sawyer *sadness*)

Monday, April 19, 2010 6:57:00 AM  
Blogger Craig said...

YES! to Desmond?

I'm so flattered. . .

Monday, April 19, 2010 9:22:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt Juicebox said...

I love How I Met Your Mother. I just think it's time he actually met her.

Monday, April 19, 2010 5:40:00 PM  
Blogger Chag said...

Thanks for showing me your tits! Or putting your tits on me. Or something.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010 5:16:00 PM  
Anonymous SeriousMom said...

Great list! Inspired me to make one of my own.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010 9:40:00 AM  
Blogger Jack said...

I used to work with a guy who'd throw out "Top Gun" quotes with reckless abandon. It was just frightening.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010 9:58:00 AM  
Blogger Carolyn...Online said...

Remember when Angel was bad the WHOLE season and then at the VERY end he got his sould back but Buffy had to slay him anyway to close the hell mouth? What? I'm not a dork.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010 12:49:00 PM  
Blogger the weirdgirl said...

I love your tits!

(Is that pervy?)

Thursday, April 22, 2010 11:52:00 AM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

Loved our list - but even more so your news! And "talk to me Goose" would have made my year.

Thursday, April 22, 2010 2:16:00 PM  
Blogger JoeinVegas said...

Wait a minute, none of those links brings up a picture.

Monday, April 26, 2010 12:16:00 PM  

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