...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Friday, February 12, 2010

he was a hard-headed man, he was brutally handsome

My dear Tool Man is a very giving man. Yesterday afternoon, he raced home from whatever far-flung mystery locale his job takes him bearing two bottles of Mike's Hard cranberry lemonade, a smile, and eyebrows that were wagging maniacally up and down. When he gets like this, I like to pretend I'm a naive little waif who just escaped to the big, bad city and I'm confused by the advances of strange men (seriously...it's called role-playing and it doesn't involve any fancy costumes, which is nice, because we're on a budget, people)(and in case you're wondering, he brought the beverages home from the hotel he'd just stayed at, tucking them away from the free evening cocktail hour the night before)(yes, we are very, very classy).

"Why, my good man, I do believe you are hoping to get me drunk and take advantage of me!" I declared. Tool Man is not a drinker, nor am I really, and I question the potency of something that looks like weak Kool-Aid, but I'm willing to take one for the team, which is good because Tool Man actually said "Well, my dear, I was thinking these might help me score with you!"


This is just one reason I love this man. Aside from still acting like a high school kid trying to get me drunk on prom night, he puts up with me in moments when even I wouldn't do so. He lets me sleep in on the weekends, does everything he can to return home from out of town jobs so he can drive us to our son's basketball games because he knows how utterly lost I can get on my own, handles making phone calls I don't want to, and is willing to watch zombie movies with me even though it's not his favorite genre.

Tool Man is also incredibly thoughtful. The bottled cocktails he bore? They were the low-calorie version! "Because I'm watching your figure," he said. Swoon again!! He also sent me flowers and had them delivered to the house yesterday. Sadly, the delivery person left the box of what I assume would have been very beautiful irises outside on the block of ice that is our front steps in temperatures hovering around the low 20s. By the time I returned home from work, the flowers were frozen, water-logged and decidedly dead.

They say it's the thought that counts, though, so I still put them in a vase and right now, these flowers are stinking up the living room like a rotting zombie corpse ("Did Dad get you those flowers?!" my oldest son asked, seemingly shocked at either the sentiment or the perceived poor choice. "Maybe," I replied. "Or maybe I have an incredibly terrifying secret admirer trying to scare the bejesus out of me by sending me dead things."). They're also a placeholder for the flowers that are coming to replace these. Oh, yes, my Tool Man is a take charge kind of man, and he called to rectify this issue immediately while watching various petals and leaves fall from the bouquet and drift soundlessly to the floor. He even asked that another cheekily worded card be attached to the new flowers. I look forward to his clever play on the word 'tulips.'

So even though he hates Come On, Eileen, still seriously worries about Dennis DeYoung, and can no longer watch episodes of Bones in peace thanks to my smoking hot crush on David Boreanaz, I'm pretty lucky to have a valentine like the one I do. How lucky can you be to have someone you still want to score? That's the kind of tainted Kool-Aid I'll keep sipping from.



Anonymous Patti McKenna said...

Oh, great tribute! I can so relate!

Friday, February 12, 2010 10:02:00 AM  
Blogger Craig said...

When I want to take advantage of Jen, it's gin-and-tonics. Love Potion #9, that stuff. . .

And seriously? He said he wanted to score with you? Wow. . . that's just. . . wow. . .

And, uh, which 'tulips' are we talkin' about here? (OK, I am so gonna do time in Purgatory for that one. . .)

Friday, February 12, 2010 10:03:00 AM  
Anonymous TwoBusy said...

I love these sweet posts about your husband. Also, I'm now very worried about the possibility that Pro Flowers is going to be delivering something dead and wilting to my wife this morning, as the delivery was delayed a day by so-called weather issues.

Guess we'll find out.

Friday, February 12, 2010 10:08:00 AM  
Blogger steenky bee said...

Well, they LOOK beautiful-ish. But how do they smell?

I'm curious, why does Tool Man worry about Dennis DeYoung? Have you seen his home on VH1? Dude is doing okay. He's even had enough money to get his wife some upkeep.

There's a Mormon guy on Idol (not sure if he made it past Hollywood), but he's good looking and plays the keyboard. If he's not channeling DeYoung, then I don't know who could.

Hmm..no pictures of of the chicken and the balloon?

Friday, February 12, 2010 11:55:00 AM  
Blogger The Savage said...

I still lust you after all these years ya know... I haven't said it in a while but I do....

Friday, February 12, 2010 12:32:00 PM  
Blogger Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

love this! it's great to feel wanted.

Friday, February 12, 2010 12:42:00 PM  
Blogger Swirl Girl said...

how sweet, not smelling- but sweet!

Friday, February 12, 2010 3:09:00 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

Awwwww... Hope you guys have a great Valentine's Day!

Friday, February 12, 2010 4:18:00 PM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

He's a keeper! Love that he went for something more creative than roses (although I do love roses - so if the replacement bouquet is of the long stemmed variety - I'd still say SO SWEET!)

Friday, February 12, 2010 4:44:00 PM  
Blogger Bijoux said...

Did you see the role playing episode of 'Modern Family' this week? Hilarious!

Wishing you a wonderful VD with Tool Man!

Friday, February 12, 2010 6:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One time I told my husband I'd blow him for a candy bar. That, ladies and gentleman, is love.

Friday, February 12, 2010 8:20:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

So I'm all appalled that they just left the flowers on the step. That's totally wrong. You should get TWO replacement arrangements. And send me one.

Friday, February 12, 2010 11:53:00 PM  
Blogger justmakingourway said...

Great post to the wonderful Tool Man. I like hearing about you two, always brings a smile to my face.

Happy Valentine's!

Saturday, February 13, 2010 10:18:00 AM  
Blogger Miz Dinah said...

Sounds like you bagged yourself a keeper! Rrrrowr!!! ♥

Saturday, February 13, 2010 11:28:00 AM  
Anonymous A Vapid Blonde said...

You used the word taint and score in the the same sentence...you are my hero!

Saturday, February 13, 2010 1:56:00 PM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

I'm not an expert on flowers, but the photo makes them look exotic and Amazonian.

Saturday, February 13, 2010 3:09:00 PM  
Anonymous bejewell said...

The Big Bean knows better than to get me drunk. I'm SUPER FUN for about as long as it takes to drive home and get through about a third of the way through my naughty nurse strip tease -- then I pass out on the couch with my mouth open and drool while I snore.

He's much better off taking his chances with sober me.

So your Tool Man is a lucky guy. Just sayin.

Saturday, February 13, 2010 9:09:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Good try right? I hope the replacements smell better.

Sunday, February 14, 2010 1:06:00 AM  
Blogger WILLIAM said...

What no cheeky comments about Mike's HARD?

Email me. Batmeaks@ verizon .net

Sunday, February 14, 2010 6:15:00 AM  
Blogger msprimadonna67 said...

Totally adorable--that's a sweet Valentine! (It IS the thought counts.) : )

Monday, February 15, 2010 3:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now that's a man! Look at him taking care of you and your dead, zombie like flowers.

Monday, February 15, 2010 10:48:00 AM  
Anonymous FTN said...

You two crazy kids are such romantics. How can the rest of us compete with that.

Monday, February 15, 2010 2:36:00 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Anytime I get my hubby a beer he asks if I'm trying to get him drunk and take advantage of him. Well, of course I am, honey. Glad to know we aren't the only ones :)

Monday, February 15, 2010 7:25:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Patti - Pretty lucky, huh?!

Craig - I think I can say I have never had gin...or done time in Purgatory. You, sir, may have a couple hours there!

TwoBusy - I hope your delivery was a success. Our second attempt was a bit touch and go for awhile, but they seem to be springing back.

steenky bee - I keep those pictures private. Rawr!

Savage - It's good to know some things last.

Anna See - So true...even on the days we just want to thump the other on the head!

swirl girl - Aw, shucks...

Chag - 'twas a day like no other, other than the fact that it mostly was just another day.

Kate - I say we treat ourselves to roses from time to time.

Cocotte - I did! Cracked up...I love that show!

Sus - That's proof that we do what we gotta do!

Heather - No kidding, right?! Those poor irises were so frozen they were like plastic flowers by the time I got my hands on them. And if I'd gotten two bouquets, of course I'd send one to you!

just making my way - Thank you, sweetie!

miz dinah - The man has his moments!

a vapid blonde - I do what I can, lady! ;)

Brian - It's all about lighting and angles.

bejewell - I think my Tool Man just wants to get me seriously drunk to see what I'm like, but I warn him it would be like unleashing a rabid spider monkey and I'd probably mistakenly claw his face off. So, it's best I'm not much of a drinker.

Heather - Anything has to smell better than rotting zombie. I hope at least!

William - Honestly, I feel like I failed myself and others by not playing with those twisty words.

misprimadonna - He does get an A for effort!

Meg - Ha...um, I might have suggested, and I quote, "I'd get your ass on the phone and see what they can do about this!" Or something like that. ;)

ftn - I think the only logical next step is to go on a cruise or something...

Rachel - Whatever it takes to get the wheels spinning, I always say!

Monday, February 15, 2010 8:42:00 PM  
Blogger lime said...

most excellent. mr. lime needs to stop trying to get me drunk on mad dog and start with mai tais and frozen bellinis.

sounds like you found a keeper :)

Tuesday, February 16, 2010 8:49:00 AM  
Blogger Pat said...

Aw, this was so sweet.

Unfortunately, my husband doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. Never had - never will. :(

Tuesday, February 16, 2010 1:07:00 PM  
Blogger The Stiletto Mom said...

Honestly, I think you need to come up with a line of "I heart Tool Man" Tshirts for all of us after that post...what a catch!!!

Thursday, February 18, 2010 4:35:00 PM  
Blogger Melissa @ I Pick Pretty said...

Such a lovely Valentine's tribute.

One of the things I like best about marriage is that the dating pretense drops away; instead of pretending that the intoxicating beverage is there to be enjoyed for its own sake / taste /etc., spouses can freely admit to one another that he or she is just trying to get some (from the spouse, I should clarify).

Monday, February 22, 2010 11:38:00 AM  

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