...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Friday, December 28, 2007

music calms the savage beast...

...Or so I've heard. I don't know if this is true or not, because I don't come across many wild creatures in the uncharted territories of the suburbs, but, for the purposes of my theme this week, I do believe it would hold true for sharks. Thus, welcome to Shark Week Episode Three - "Gettin' Fishy With It."

Have you ever heard "Mack The Knife"? I dare you to turn it on and not start swaying, old school crooner style. I bet sharks love this song. How could they not when the opening is a shout out to them (at least in respect to this post, so go with it, OK?).

"Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And it shows them pearly white
Just a jackknife has old MacHeath, babe
And he keeps it … ah … out of sight.
Ya know when that shark bites, with his teeth, babe
Scarlet billows start to spread
Fancy gloves, though, wears old MacHeath, babe
So there’s nevah, nevah a trace of red."

That wearing gloves part is pretty impressive, what with the lack of opposable thumbs on sharks. But I know sharks like to cut and bite and thirst for blood. Hello? Have you seen a saw shark? That thing could do all those things and then dump you like a wounded puffer fish in no time.

As smooth as that above tune is, I quite imagine sharks like hard industrial music as they swim around the oceans in search of their next meal. They probably crank it up loud in a move that both irritates their fellow ocean neighbors AND drowns out the terror filled screams of their victims. I like my music a bit more eclectic then just the random screaming/pounding/thrashing/pick a fight with someone for absolutely no reason beats.

Case in point, I'm driving to work last week and amidst a jaunty mix of songs that included, but was not limited to, the Polyphonic Spree (god help me, I don't get these people, but I freakin' love this song), and 30 Seconds to Mars (yeah, I don't get this video either, but hello, cute guy in eyeliner. PSA - not every shark can pull off the eyeliner. trust me on this), my fully charged iPod goes silent. I sit and wait, ready to sing along to the next song. And I wait. And wait. I glance down at the display screen and it shows a song and no problems. But it's not playing. I pick it up to give it a closer inspection and realized my iPod had decided to cop an attitude with me:

When I noticed the irony of the song and the fact that my iPod was, in essence, dead after giving me a morning filled with music, glorious music, I couldn't help but give it a hearty "Heh." "Good one, iPod. You're like a black fly in my chardonnay."

Then it may have called me a stupid girl or a fool or something and was all "Don't you know the actual name of that song is "#1 Crush"? and I was all "Duh, you pathetic shark!"

And then I punched it in the nose and swam away. Because that's what I strongly suggest you do if you come across a shark. Especially sharks who like to play that loud industrial music when they go to bite ya.

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11 Comments:

Blogger Bee said...

I LOST MY FOCUS!!
I love Mack the Knife but I had never seen Bobby Darin perform it. All I have to say now is... painful.

My condolances on the iPod...

Friday, December 28, 2007 5:41:00 PM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Whoohoo, those dolphins know how to treat a lady!

Jab, jab, jab, jabbajaw! Might I suggest...your like a black fly...just a suggestion. ;)

Jared Leto is a fine specimen, sigh, ya he can pull that look off.

If I'm ever out to see in shark infested waters, which I won't be, but if it happens, will you be with me to punch the shark in the nose?

mckthanifismyfav

Friday, December 28, 2007 6:20:00 PM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Ha! Out to see! I kill myself!

Friday, December 28, 2007 6:21:00 PM  
Blogger 1blueshi1 said...

oooh, I wish I had an ipod. 'cause Megadeth rocks! hehehe

Friday, December 28, 2007 6:21:00 PM  
Blogger 1blueshi1 said...

on the other hand, if I was an Empress and I could have anything I wanted to celebrate my birth, I think my taste would run more towards that new shoe store in NYC that's so big the USPS had to create a new zip code for it...
speaking of industrial, try listening to KMFDM's cover of Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Are Made For Walking"--fabulous stuff.

Friday, December 28, 2007 6:26:00 PM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

so is this like a subtle way of tellin' us you didn't have to use your dolphin as fish bait this morning? oh wait. the words fish should never be in the same round about sentence as gettin' your swurve on cause one might think you got a fishy ginney and well...we ain't talkin' bout tuna boats now are we?

if i were ever in shark infested waters i would sooo double up my fat little fist in a ball and close my eyes and start swingin.

swing battah battah swwwuuwing.

take that you sonsabitches! that's what i'd be thinkin' in my head. and i'd grit my teeth...but i can't swim so ya know i've found it best to stay on the shore..and eat out of strangers picnic baskets.

care for some cheese with that wine?

Friday, December 28, 2007 8:46:00 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

I think sharks listen to Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge...

Saturday, December 29, 2007 12:30:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Bee - I get distracted as soon as the finger snapping begins. It can be quite painful!

Nan - Your(sic) spot on with the your/you're suggestion. Trust it was there. Oh, it's always there.

Here's to just swimming in wading pools now. No more shark infested waters. Ever. But, know that if some silly little shark ever landed in the wading pool, I'd beat on it while you swam for safety and alerted help! Like maybe that cute little Jared Leto. I'd be ok seeing his black eyeliner run.

iblueshi1 - And if I were ever and Empress able to ask for anything I desired, my first request (ok, maybe my fifth) would be to have Jared Leto deliver said shows to me on a pillow crafted of his love and scented with his musk. Then I want to see him sword fight again. For my honor. Not too much to ask for, I think.

kimmy - Not that we're talking tuna here, but if we were, it would be dolphin safe tuna, for sure. But yuck. I'm grossin' myself out.

I've since learned, after unfortunate shark attacks and a healthy respect of the Discovery Channel, that I'm better off not even dippin' toes in shark infested waters. Sharks think they're so cool, but eh, not so much. They just swim around the ocean and do the same thing. Day after day, night after night. How f'n boring is that?

btw - are there brownies in that picnic basket. I like those better than cheese. Unless it's pepperjack cheese. Mmmmm...pepperjack...

Michael - Oh, sharks most *definitely* listen to She Wants Revenge. That choice of yours, perhaps a little "Written In Blood" thrown in as an encore. Oh, believe me, it's a soundtrack for sharks. Sharks are so faux moody.

Monday, December 31, 2007 10:21:00 AM  
Blogger Recovering Soul said...

are you wearing your tiara still? Because you are still the music queen. Even, with everything, dropping in that Alanis. Very nice.

Monday, December 31, 2007 1:59:00 PM  
Blogger FTN said...

You watch waaaay too much Discovery Channel. And maybe TLC. And probably Animal Planet.

Next year: Dolphin Week. With pictures.

Um... I did NOT just write that.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008 12:35:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

RS - I pretty much wear that tiara at all times. It has a tendency to make people uncomfortable because they wonder what a grown woman is doing walking around wearing a construction paper and glitter crown, but I just act normal (well, as normal as someone who will go all karaoke on the Muzak in Wendy's when REM's "Everybody Hurts" comes on).

FTN - I watch to learn, mister. I watch to learn. Then I pencil in 'dolphin week' in my calendar.

Thursday, January 03, 2008 9:34:00 AM  

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