...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Friday, December 21, 2007

oh my gosh! thank you! you shouldn't have!

So let's say you want to get me a little something for Christmas, and you realize that, after you've wandered the malls or browsed Amazon for hours that it's impossible to put a price on the ability to have me and everyone around me break out into song and dance at any point in the day, ala Grease, which is what I would totally LOVE, but will accept the sad sack statement you give me when you tell me that was sold out, I've decided to give you a couple options that would make me equally as happy.

  • Punctuation - Clearly, I need to brush up on the run-on sentence thing (see above). But that's pretty much how I talk. In my head. And sometimes in person. Just ask my husband. In fact, just cross this idea off your gift list, because I don't really want punctuation, but punctuation would be the type of gift my husband would buy me, assuming he could. Since he can't, I imagine I'm going to get a bizarre rap CD and maybe some temporary tattoos.

  • These red sequin Chuck Taylor All Star sneakers. I'd maybe tear up a little bit if you got these for me, and perhaps spend the rest of the year running your errands and thinking of ways to make it up for you, even though you would be all, "Please, it was a gift! You don't have to do anything. I got them because I think you're awesome. So awesome." I promise you, at least once a week, if these were on my feet, I'd tap my heels. What's that? What size should you get? Tens. You know what they say about big feet, right? I don't know how that applies to a girl.

Pretty easy list, eh? Just two things. So easy I'm practically doing it for you. But it means more coming from you, so keep in mind you have just four days to get crackin'. To motivate you, let me send you on your way with big Merry Christmas wishes. You can even pretend I'm out shopping for you, if you like. We'll giggle if we get each other the same thing, but just in case, maybe you should work on your sincerely thankful look when you find out I can only afford a few exclamation points and a handful of apostrophes with helpful tips on how to use them to spell you're.

Merry Christmas!


Anonymous Heidi said...

Let me tell you that punctuation CAN BE BOUGHT in the form of a freakishly funny book called "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" by Lynne Truss. I highly recommend it!

Friday, December 21, 2007 12:35:00 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

I appreciate this kind of advice. The last Christmas before I became single again, I bought my ex a book on being more organized around the house. This did not go over well, I'm not sure why. I meant it to be helpful, I really did. Clearly, I am in the remedial class when it comes to gift buying so every little hint helps.

Friday, December 21, 2007 3:10:00 AM  
Blogger Nanette said...

I'd totally buy you those if you would do my errands, but since you said the rest of the year, ha, that wouldn't make for much use out of you. :P

Your ;) so silly, you forgot to put a funny label on your post!


Friday, December 21, 2007 3:15:00 AM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

i would so buy you an apostrophe but chances are when i would go to the nice lady at the counter i wouldn't know how to express myself as i'm not quite that wordy, and would probably end up buying you a vowel. O is good this time of year i hear. and while i'm there maybe i'll buy myself some capitalization since i've apparently given up on it.

Friday, December 21, 2007 5:53:00 AM  
Blogger Edtime Stories said...

You deserve much more than is on your list. Oh and who really needs punctuations? e.e. cummings?

Friday, December 21, 2007 8:21:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Oh, yeah, I'll puncture-8 4U. NE time; just ax.

And I so know that I'm destined by fate to be walking the aisles at B&N, scratching my head and wondering what the heck my two oldest sons might not find insulting. . .

Friday, December 21, 2007 9:16:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

I got you capital letters for LAST Christmas, and I still haven't received a thank-you card for that.

Friday, December 21, 2007 9:53:00 AM  
Blogger Chuck said...

Those are some HOT shoes! By the way...I wear a 12. ;)

Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 21, 2007 10:21:00 AM  
Blogger Chag said...

You can have a few of my commas. I tend to overuse them.

Hope you have a great Christmas!

Friday, December 21, 2007 2:22:00 PM  
Blogger Mandy Lou said...

Punctuation can be overrated anyway - oh Queen of the Run-On Sentances. Perhaps I'll get you some sentance diagrams, those are always fun!

Friday, December 21, 2007 3:47:00 PM  
Blogger Therese in Heaven said...

Oooh! I want red sequin shoes too! The ones I’m drooling over, though, are slightly less comfortable looking than yours.

Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 21, 2007 7:34:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

Those are some bad ass Ruby slippers! But! I hope that if you click your heels they won't take you to Kansas... ::shiver::

[--not that there's anything wrong with that!--]

(I got exclamation points for Christmas a few years back and I'm still using them!!!!)

Friday, December 21, 2007 10:26:00 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Excellent list! Makes me wonder if it's too late to adjust mine ... what am I saying? Of course it isn't! Last-minute shopping runs in the family, after all.

Have a wonderful Christmas!

Sunday, December 23, 2007 10:35:00 PM  
Blogger Recovering Soul said...

Howdy, just wanted to say Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007 11:38:00 PM  

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