...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Friday, January 04, 2008

'but i don't feel like dancin' no sir, no dancin' today'

"It says if you are over 25, return this product immediately and don't make a fool of yourself," my charming husband says, reading the back of my brand new copy of Dance, Dance Revolution SuperNova 2.

"Oh, you did not just call me old or a fool!" I respond. "Because I can dance. I can jive. Now open up the game and plug me in, baby!"

"I can't stand here and watch the shame that is about to befall this house," he says, plugging in the PS2, shaking his head, and walking away. At least that's what it sounds like. My head is cloudy with thoughts of dancing superstardom and touring the world on a dual bill that also has me headlining my Guitar Hero III band.

"I'm a slave to the music, baby!" I cry to his retreating frame, which, honestly, I am happy to see because I don't need him making fun of me as I start to wind it up with Gwen Stefani and a series of bizarre animated creatures who pop into my television screen to teach me the steps.

An hour later, after rockin' my body with Justin, taking on A Ha, getting called a skank by Fatboy Slim, and raising my temperature with Sean Paul, I award myself the Dancing With the Stars trophy and head to bed.

The next morning, I awake with visions of dance marathons playing out in my living room, so eager am I to get back to a revolution o' dance. Then I roll over and am seized by crippling pain. My left hip screams it's hate for me. When I finally can swing my legs to the floor, I'm immobilized by a Charley horse. Holding tears in while also raising a fist heavenward to curse my husband and his burst of wisdom, I'm interrupted by the sound of smugness watching my defeat from the doorway.

"So," he beings. "Are you the dancing queen? Young and sweet?"

"I'm so totally sweet," I say through gritted teeth.

"And that young thing?"

"Age is just a number. Let's start with three. As in three ibuprofen so I can make it downstairs."

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19 Comments:

Blogger Nanette said...

Only seventeen.

Let's get webcams and ddr together! It will be so hot, I'll totally pawn you. Ha! Whatever that means, I heard it on South Park once. ;) I feel like that right now after my workout, sigh. Ha! You are such an artist. ;)

I'm full of winks and exclamations whoohoo! I'm quite possibly at the giddy stage of tired where I'll do just about anything. I should probably shut my internet connection down now before I do something wicked.

illsnduawbcm

Friday, January 04, 2008 5:12:00 AM  
Blogger 1blueshi1 said...

oh you are SO funny--wish I could dance instead of plodding into the citay to The Bank--it is SO cold here and I must force myself to the gym on my lunch too.
Gah. What DON'T I have to look forward to? (prays for death)

Friday, January 04, 2008 7:36:00 AM  
Blogger Recovering Soul said...

Okay, so let me get this straight. Does a "kids" game actually use the word skank? Cause that is a bit disturbing.

I played guitar hero for the first time over Christmas, and I'm sorry, but I don't get it. I'd much rather pick up a real guitar any day!

Friday, January 04, 2008 8:35:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Ah, my dear, these things happen North of *cough*40*cough*. . .

But if you persevere, you could actually end up in better shape than when you were 30.

Just sayin'.

And you are totally sweet, I'm sure. . .

Friday, January 04, 2008 8:44:00 AM  
Blogger Chuck said...

I'm thinking you should seriously consider making a video of you the Dancing Queen, then post it on your blog for all of us to see....and judge.

What'cha think? ;)

Friday, January 04, 2008 9:13:00 AM  
Blogger FTN said...

Thank goodness you didn't break a hip, Myrtle.

And by the way, RS should know what skank means. At the ripe old age of 30, he's surely old enough to remember the '90s ska retro vibe. I did some serious skankin' back in the day...

Great, now *I* feel old.

Friday, January 04, 2008 9:46:00 AM  
Blogger Sailor said...

Wow, pay no attention to them old folks-

Dance all you want, I have stock in Tylenol and Bayer ;)

Friday, January 04, 2008 12:17:00 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

I hope you got back to stamping again! It's the best way to loosen up those muscles, or so I hear. Personally, I'd probably just lay in bed and groan.

Friday, January 04, 2008 6:58:00 PM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

*waving dollar bills*

you wear a gstring when you shake your money maker?

*waving dollar bill again*

mad cash.

maaad cash.

Friday, January 04, 2008 7:46:00 PM  
Blogger Chrissy said...

Yeah, my kids have tried to convince me to play DDR with them. I told them that I might try it, but my first time will be with them gone, and all curtains and blinds in the room closed!!

Friday, January 04, 2008 10:18:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

My niece (16) tried to get me to dance with her on hers. I'm rhythmically challenged but I still challenged her to dance with our backs to the TV. Did it work? No, but at least she looked silly too!
Mad props for being able to do it and last till the next day!

Saturday, January 05, 2008 1:26:00 PM  
Blogger Scoobers said...

Work it, baby. Work it. Own it.
I may have to look into that game but premedicate with the ibu.

Sunday, January 06, 2008 3:15:00 AM  
Blogger Stacie said...

oh you are a brave brave woman...I'm in awe of you really. No way on God's Green Earth you could get me to do that...nope...not me. I bet you're back out on that dance floor in no time shakin' your groove thing..yeah yeah..
Stacie

Sunday, January 06, 2008 9:41:00 AM  
Blogger Jean Knee said...

dang, I am in awe. I have to take four jumbo generic ibuprofens after I climb the stairs.

Sunday, January 06, 2008 11:32:00 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Nan - We're planning to keep clothes on while busting the DDR via webcammie, right? I mean, sure, I'd so do that for you. Your(sic) so hot! I'll ping for the details later, man.

1blueshi1 - Ah, but in your death what would *I* have to look forward to without you here and over there, where you are, writing away?! I dance when it's cold, too. This living room is freezing! That's why my first song choice was "Temperature". Oh, I do love me some irony.

RS - Actually, the song never uses the word 'skank' in it at all. I suppose I could've said it called me a "funk soul brotha," 'cause I'm down wit dat.

Is that funk? I don't now. I'm in the suburbs. Where Guitar Hero RULES (because I have no musical talent whatsoever, and thus deem myself a prodigy because I can keep track of when to hit a few colored bars on a plastic toy guitar. \m/ !!)

Des - AH! You slay me!! I'm just barely north of 40!!! In fact, I think I'm still looking at the map of 40 and wondering if I'm heading in the right direction.

But true, that sweet thing is down pat!

Chuck - By judge, do you mean be super kind to me as I bust it on the beginniner's level and work the sweet freestylin' moves of a funk soul brotha? Or do you mean make fun of me and point and laugh and send my clip viral to gather millions of hits on YouTube?

FTN - Let us take to the rockers on the porch, Grandpa (now check what I'm calling ya!), where we'll discuss what life was like when we were young and how the grandkids never come to visit. We shall sip the proverbial Country Time lemonade and start getting ready for the 4 pm buffet at the Ponderosa around 11 a.m., right after The Price is Right.

Sailor - I'm killing your stocks, then, because I was sucking down the generics!

Melissa - Much groaning has been done. Much more will be done. But I am HRH of DDR, so there shall be more dancing, I assure you!

kimmy - If I had me the mad linking skills, I'd hook you up with the archived greatest hits about my fondness for the stripper aerobics and my dream for the pole in my living room. Cat crawls, baby. I gots them down!

Just make sure you're bringing the brand new dollars!

Chrissy - The other option is to make fun of them before they can make fun of you, but if they already have the game down, you're next best option is to try it out with the blinds down! Ha!

Bee - I'm a little addicted to it. This is a huge problem with my personality. I was almost late for work the other day because I was trying to top myself on some Chris Brown song.

Scoobers - Ha! I absolutely do now premedicate. That really should be in the list of instructions that the game comes with!

Stacie - If you're ever around these parts, I'm gonna talk you into it. It'll just be me and you, and you know I'm not gonna make fun of you. And we'll drink some beers first, so, you know, that'll help!

Jean Knee - Because I blame what appears to be a mangled right foot on this game (that won't hold me back, though! It's art, I tell ya!), I pretty much have to follow your same move as I get around the house.

Sunday, January 06, 2008 2:32:00 PM  
Blogger Nanette said...

We might play a little strip ddr, what's it to ya! I need to have a recording so I can zip it to my friends. I'll dig you up sometime hottie MC.

ddrfk (which, ha, is very similar to the real thing dddfk, ha!)

Monday, January 07, 2008 1:13:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Well, I think all roads just head North on that particular map, luv. . .

Monday, January 07, 2008 11:55:00 AM  
Blogger Mandy Lou said...

Oh that is excellent - now I know which games not to buy! I just pot "Sing Star" (80s edition thankyouverymuch) and have been hoarse for three days. But trying to keep up with Tina Turner and Wham will do that to a girl.

Monday, January 07, 2008 7:32:00 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

nan - that'd be a youtube moment for sure, baby. i think that kinda thing is sold somewhere, come to think of it.

Des - the goal, as it is, is to look like a more southern dwelling 40!

Mandylou - OMG! Can I come over? Seriously!?

Monday, January 07, 2008 10:14:00 PM  

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