...for a different kind of girl

silent surburban girl releasing her voice, not yet knowing what all she wants to say about her life and the things that make it spin. do you have to be 18 to be here? you'll know when i know.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

hey, cherry. do you belong to the physics club?

Last week, Tool Man was out of town for work, doing whatever it is Major Tool Company representatives do when they leave their wives at home alone with the children while they're (finger quotes) allegedly (finger quotes) out pimping power sanders and drills. The bulk of his time away was spent in Chicago, where he attended three days of corporate meetings and various rah-rah sessions designed to pump up staff for the holiday quarter.

On Wednesday morning, Tool Man called to tell me his meetings were kicking off that evening with employees gathering for a series of trust-building activities and outdoor games. Before he could finish telling me that one of the activities was called "whirly ball," I was forced to interrupt him by screaming out "Team Building Exercise '99!!" directly into his ear. Sadly, my glee at this very appropriately timed pun was met with silence from Tool Man, who refused to watch the first season of Flight of the Conchords with me last spring, instead opting to mutter "That looks stupid," to which I responded, "Oh, yeah?! Well, so's yer frackin' Battlestar Galactica!" Then we got into a knock down, drag out fight that ended with some kissing and perhaps me begging for mercy and taking back what I said about Battlestar Galactica, even though I totally had my fingers crossed behind my back.

(BTW - I've since made him watch Flight of the Conchord clips that number too many to count mutha uckas, so he at least knows what I'm talking about, thus leaving him without an appropriate excuse for denying me the appropriate response of a "Ha ha ha," after my witty remark, though I should probably forgive him because, people, I still don't know what whirly ball is, but Tool Man came home bruised in places that only someone who is married to or in a consensual relationship with someone who has played whirly ball should see.)

(BTW: Part Deux! - It's my understanding that I'm responsible for the 84 kabillionth link to the Conchord's Business Time clip in a blog post. Took me awhile, so I gave you two versions!)

(BTW: last one, I swear - Bret McKenzie is the latest additions to my celebrity crush list, which also now includes Craig Ferguson, who really has nothing to do with this post, other than I find him and his accent magically delicious)

Anyway, where were we? Ah, my Tool Man and his team building exercises. OK. So, late Friday night, Tool Man made his triumphant (and incredibly bruised) return to me. While unpacking his bag (and grimacing in post-whirly ball pain), he tossed me a hat and muttered, "Here. They gave this to us at our meeting."

People! This hat is the far more kick ass equivalent of a Team Building '99 t-shirt, and Seth, my inner 14-year-old boy, and I were delighted beyond belief to have it! Seth and I carried on and on (shocking, no?) about how proud we were Tool Man was finally in the Wacker Club, and peppered him with many highly inappropriately-worded, yet very appropriately timed questions about what the club meetings involved, but once again, I (we) was (were) met with silence from Tool Man. That forced me (by then, Seth had bailed) to do what I often do when faced with someone who totally loves me, but just doesn't get me, and that is to bastardize quotes from my other delight, The Breakfast Club.

"So in wacking club, you talk about wacking? Properties of wacking?"

More silence. Perhaps my charms were really just bruising his ego in a fashion that matched his whirly ball bruises. Whatever the case, I tipped my new Wacker Club hat at him, stood to leave the room, and totally called him a wanker.

"I don't know any wankers, but I'm not going to run out and join any of their wacker clubs," Tool Man replied.

And that right there? That's all part of the foreplay with my Tool Man and me. I love foreplay. You can imagine what heppened next.

Awww yeah, it was business time (85 kabillionth).

Labels: ,

49 Comments:

Anonymous missbanshee said...

Heehee. Hee. Heeheehee. Wacker.

Oh, and Craig Ferguson is mine. ALL MINE.

Sunday, September 28, 2008 10:25:00 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

Man, I don't get into any of the cool clubs. That may be the most awesome hat ever!

Sunday, September 28, 2008 10:29:00 PM  
Blogger justlori2day said...

Bwahahahahaha - what creative genius came up with that one?

Wacker Club - me loves it!

Sunday, September 28, 2008 10:32:00 PM  
Blogger Chag said...

Tell him to name his price. I must have that hat.

Sunday, September 28, 2008 10:34:00 PM  
Blogger CT Mom said...

Love the hat - should get one for DH ...

BTW, are those vertical blinds I see in the background? Very chez 80's!

Sunday, September 28, 2008 10:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Sammanthia said...

Love the hat... he must wear it to work tomorrow. And you must promise to go with him just so you can make wacker jokes all day long.

Sunday, September 28, 2008 10:46:00 PM  
Blogger Will said...

That is the greatest hat I have ever seen. It is Excalibur, and I must possess it.

Sunday, September 28, 2008 10:47:00 PM  
OpenID blissfullycaffeinated said...

Seth sounds boyish, yet sensitive.

Sunday, September 28, 2008 10:52:00 PM  
Blogger Backpacking Dad said...

If you want me to
I can hang 'round with you.
If I only knew
That's what you're into.

You and him, him and you
If that's what you're into
Him hangin' 'round around you
You're hangin' 'round, yeah you're there too.


And if you want me to
I will take off all my clothes for you
I will take off all my clothes for you
If that's what you're into

How 'bout him, in the nude
If that's what you're into
In the nude in front of you, is that what you'd want to view?


If it's cool with you I'll let you get naked too
It could be a dream come true
Providing that's what you are into.

Is that what you're into, him and you in the nude?
That's what he's prepared to do.
Is that the kinda thing thatcha think ya might be into?


And then maybe later we'll get hot by the refrigerator
In the kitchen next to the pantry
You think that might be what you'd fancy?

In the buff bein' rude doin' stuff with the food
Gettin' lewd where there's food
We hear that's what you're into.


Then on our next date, well you could bring your roommate.
I don't know if Stuart's keen to
But if you want we could double-team you.

How 'bout you and two dudes, him you and Stu in the nude,
Bein' lewd with two dudes with food?
Well that's if Stu's into it too.


All the things I'd do, things I'd do for you
If I only knew that's what you're into.

Sunday, September 28, 2008 10:53:00 PM  
Anonymous WaltzInExile said...

Hate that I'm about to post after Backpacking Dad's genius. Sigh. My only option is to resort to TBC references and remind you that the Wacker Club is an academic club. And everybody knows academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs.

Sunday, September 28, 2008 11:17:00 PM  
Blogger DCD said...

Does the Wacker Club load up, party? Or do they just get dressed up?

I just recently heard Flight of the Conchords for the first time and loved them. As I am working the overnight shift at the Hotel tonight,(ugh) I'll have plenty of time to YouTube it up!

Monday, September 29, 2008 12:38:00 AM  
Blogger Cocotte said...

I just love to see what corporate America spends its money on.

Monday, September 29, 2008 5:53:00 AM  
Blogger katie said...

That hat rocks my world, Diff Gal. i must own it!

you have a fabulous week, my friend!

Monday, September 29, 2008 6:23:00 AM  
Blogger Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

The Wacker hat - ya, OK.

Bret Mckenzie - Now you're talking. I love the show, too. I mean, it has comedy, music and delicious accents, right!!

Monday, September 29, 2008 6:56:00 AM  
Anonymous TwoBusy said...

Big points to Tool Man if he goes the Sy Sperling route: "Wacker Club -- I'm not just the president, but I'm also a client."

Monday, September 29, 2008 8:24:00 AM  
Blogger Shonda Little said...

I want the hat. I will pay any amount. Give me the hat.

Monday, September 29, 2008 8:34:00 AM  
Blogger Eternal Sunshine said...

It seems the bidding is going up on the hat, so I probably can't complete, and you probably wouldn't want to take 1 - 6 Cottontail bunnies in trade, would you?? Huh? Didn't think so.

I'm afraid to Google 'Wacker club' at work, so PLEASE tell me how to get one of of those awesome hats!?!?!?

Pretty please????

Oh - and I ADORE Craig Ferguson. Glad I'm not the only one.

Monday, September 29, 2008 9:05:00 AM  
Anonymous anna said...

The first rule of wacker club is you don't talk about wacker club.

(Duh)

Monday, September 29, 2008 9:34:00 AM  
Blogger Desmond Jones said...

Wow. . .

I would totally regift that hat to one of my brothers-in-law. . .

'Course, they're from Chicago, and they know where Wacker Drive is. So, they might not get the joke. . . (I'd be hoping. . .)

Monday, September 29, 2008 9:40:00 AM  
Blogger Bekah said...

haha really? wacker club? Im in.

Did you know that the other guy from flight of the conchords was an elf in Lord of the Rings?

I had to pause it while he was on screen and do a google laptop check next to my TV, but no...its really him. I gasped and ran to tell matt, to which he said "yeah I know, thats old news"

Pht. Whatev.

Anyway..im off topic AGAIN. Sweet hat, thats all I meant to say.

Monday, September 29, 2008 10:01:00 AM  
Blogger Biscuit said...

So, does the hat just come standard with club membership, or do you have to earn it, like a boy scout badge? I'm pretty sure I've already exceeded the criteria, so who do I talk to?

Monday, September 29, 2008 10:14:00 AM  
Blogger Anndi said...

I'll have to come back later when my fantasies about Craig Ferguson have subsided... yummo!

Monday, September 29, 2008 11:02:00 AM  
Blogger PAPATV said...

I would love to have Toolman's hat but I have an oval head, so I would look more "Tool" than Man. Imagine putting a hat on a cucumber...wherein the cucumber is my head.
Other things that don't look good on my head: visors, bandanna's, small apples...

Monday, September 29, 2008 11:11:00 AM  
Blogger Brian o vretanos said...

I'm sure that an essential part of any team-building stuff involves sacrificing one's dignity and self-respect for the greater good of the team...

I hope he enjoyed himself, though.

Monday, September 29, 2008 11:35:00 AM  
Anonymous seraphimred said...

Omg. I'm in love with that hat! Not for me of course..I have a sputnik head. My husband would totally rock the wacker hat. hahaha

Monday, September 29, 2008 12:05:00 PM  
Blogger Carolyn...Online said...

Best. Hat. Ever.

Monday, September 29, 2008 12:25:00 PM  
Blogger FTN said...

And all I get out of my business trips is some bacon. And salty eggs.

I also miss the team building we used to have back in happier economic times. They mostly consisted of sitting around and drinking beer while half-heartedly doing some other activity.

Never tried whirly ball, though I'd probably be up for it. I'm not averse to a bit of pain during my team building.

Monday, September 29, 2008 1:00:00 PM  
Blogger Always Home and Uncool said...

Perchance, where can a young lad of so-called limited means purchase such a fine lid?

Monday, September 29, 2008 1:27:00 PM  
Blogger jenboglass said...

How could Tool Man pass on the coolness that is The Flight of the Concords. Aren't they New Zealand's third most popular duo (one of their tribute bands?)

And Wacker Club? How did you manage to eat or put anything in your mouth? (that's what she said) I would be too busy with that's what she said references.

Monday, September 29, 2008 2:20:00 PM  
Blogger Chuck said...

Damn, Anna beat me to the punch with the first rule of wacker club thing...

Did I ever tell you I was in the stage production of Breakfast Club in college? Yeah, I taped Larry Lester's buns together...

How dare you think negatively about Battlestar Galactica! You must be frackin' crazy or something.

If I'd known your old man was in Chicago last week too I might have sneaked into that meeting and got me one of those hats!

Monday, September 29, 2008 2:39:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

Bwahahahahahaha!

I have frequently driven down Lower Wacker Drive.

No seriously, I have.

Monday, September 29, 2008 3:07:00 PM  
Blogger Chat Blanc said...

I bet I can guess what the Wacker Club super secret "hand shake" is!

Monday, September 29, 2008 3:26:00 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

From the Wacker Club charter, "When bringing guests, all swallow, no spit."

I don't know where my mind has been lately. And I hate team-building. They're always pushing you out of trees and shit.

Monday, September 29, 2008 4:59:00 PM  
Blogger The Savage said...

Hmmmmm... Errr... Lust

Monday, September 29, 2008 7:21:00 PM  
Blogger Zip n Tizzy said...

My favorite night is Wednesday night.
I love it when my man has got on his business socks.
It's probably because I'm a leggy leggy blond.

Monday, September 29, 2008 8:09:00 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

Careful next time he goes to Chicago cuz it's full of crazy people!

I double dog dare ya to wear that hat in public (Starbucks, Target) and we need photo proof.

Monday, September 29, 2008 11:40:00 PM  
Blogger Andrea with the Flipflops said...

That is a super rocken hat! I would so wear it everywhere. Lucky girl you!

Monday, September 29, 2008 11:43:00 PM  
Blogger Bogart in P Towne said...

Most guys get inducted into the Wacker Club sometime during High School.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008 7:26:00 AM  
Blogger Chris Wood said...

In England we have a proper Wanking Society, but it's largely restricted to the moneyed classes and senior members of government.

Well done Tool Man on getting some way near this.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008 9:13:00 AM  
Anonymous bejewell said...

Gimme that hat, or I'll tape your buns together.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008 11:06:00 AM  
Blogger MereCat said...

nice score! *snort* I mean for reals, right?

Tuesday, September 30, 2008 1:57:00 PM  
Blogger Chas said...

My hubby made me a "mix cd" for a road trip we took with Business Time on it last year, among other songs. I still cry (with laughter) every time I hear that song. I love Flight of the Concords.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008 3:39:00 PM  
Blogger just a girl... said...

oh god first rule about wacker club you dont talk about wacker club that had to be typed again.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008 6:04:00 PM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

Jamie is the grand poohbah of the whacker club. Mmmhmm.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008 7:22:00 PM  
Blogger loudange said...

I'm not a large water-dwelling mammal
Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis? - that is my fav FOTC song, which you also quoted from above perchance...maybe you need to watch you some Ricky Gervais as well, see him talking about Politics and Animals and Fame (I don't know who I love more, Jermaine or Ricky, its to close to tell!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUH1H-b-N5o&feature=related

Tuesday, September 30, 2008 8:34:00 PM  
Blogger Therese in Heaven said...

Aw, RS only brings back stupid stuff with computer company logos. Nothing worthy of a whole blog post.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008 12:14:00 AM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Come on dollface, level with me, did he slip you his hot beef injection? <3 The Tool Man <3

Wednesday, October 01, 2008 12:51:00 AM  
Blogger Fu Manchu Dad said...

Wondering if anyone here knows what Wacker is? I do. And not just from my adolescence...in an actual working environment. As for the FOTC, my teenage boys have been regaling me nightly, calling me over to the computer for just one more, "you gotta see this one" trip down youtube lane with those two. I'd be begging for the hat too if only I wore hats. As regards to Toolman's influence with the folks at corporate, maybe he can introduce you to the business end of one of those things...let me just mention it involves lots of vibration...
I know, I know....I had you at vibration.
FMD
FMD

Thursday, October 02, 2008 12:10:00 AM  
Blogger Betsey Booms said...

This makes me feel much better about declaring "It's business time, awww yeah!" when my husband got into bed the other night.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 2:45:00 PM  

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